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When at a black tie event, how do you dress to stand out without looking ridiculous? Is it possible? Should it even be attempted?

I once knew someone who stood out at a black tie event by showing up with a top hat and cane. No one questioned it though because he also arrived at the venue by helicopter. If he wasn't so wealthy, I'm sure people would have thought he looked ridiculous. Is there an appropriate way to do this?
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quesera
quesera
Marked as Best! October 22, 2009 08:09 PM
For men, black tie is a very strict dress code, without much wiggle room. It's hard to stand out without looking ridiculous or pompous (a top hat and cane is both, no matter how rich). Men are also expected to dress sharply but to basically be a backdrop for their date (sexist, isn't it? Sorry!). Men should keep their pazzaz to a minimum, because it is tactless to flaunt wealth, and those who try usually end up looking like "new money" who want to show off ("old money" would have arrived by car, not chopper, but it's also tactless to point that out). If you dress appropriately and instead are charming company, you will stand out for being friendly and interesting to talk to. Focus on keeping a smile on your face, ask people questions about themselves rather than prattling on about you, and don't get too tipsy! People will remember you for you rather than for some ridiculous hat or gaudy cuff links.
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• All the answers here were great, but I love the distinction you made between old money and new money, that's a really great point. The person who showed up in the chopper was VERY new money; he'd been rich for only a year or two at that time. Thanks!
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dsaldridge
dsaldridge
October 21, 2009 09:54 PM
It depends on whether you're a man or a woman. For women, it's much easier, because they can wear something new and exciting that stands out without making themselves look ridiculous. But for men, black tie is pretty much black tie. They can stand out on arrival, but during the event, short of wearing a very expensive, custom tailored suit, and being impeccably groomed, there isn't much of a way for a man to stand out in a room full of men in tuxedos.
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demanda
demanda
October 22, 2009 03:09 AM
It's all about the accessories! You can make yourself stand out from the crowd with accessories that give your outfit some pizazz. For women, this could include anything from jewelry to handbags. For men, it's a little trickier, but it can be achieved via boutonnières, handkerchiefs, overcoats, or even hats. It depends on the specific event as to how far you should push the envelope.
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