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A friend wants to perform strange religious rituals on you for your health to improve. Do you let them?
On the one hand, if you don't believe the rituals are 'real', then you shouldn't mind if your friend does them since they can't really hurt and it'll make your friend feel better, right? But some people are devout in their faith and allowing a differing religious ritual to be performed on you could be against your faith. Or maybe it's just weird and it creeps you out?
The question is: your friend believes very strongly in the rituals and it can't 'hurt' you physically to let him or her do it and it would make your friend feel better. Do you let him or her do it or do you counter with your own faith and beliefs and how they conflict?
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The question is: your friend believes very strongly in the rituals and it can't 'hurt' you physically to let him or her do it and it would make your friend feel better. Do you let him or her do it or do you counter with your own faith and beliefs and how they conflict?
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October 14, 2009 06:02 PM
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My last roommate practiced Wicca. We were very respectful of each others beliefs and differences. She was incredible and explained some of her beliefs to me. I listened and learned a lot and was never scared of her.
Gno is right, witches aren't bad or scary people at all and most of them simply believe in the power of the earth's energy rather than a spiritual god. I'm not clear on what your beliefs are, Michelle, but I'm a Christian and I would probably be hesitant to have a ritual performed on me. The only way I would be able to let a friend perform any kind of ritual on me is if my friend explained in detail her belief and reasoning behind why she wants to perform that particular ritual, exactly what to expect during the ritual and specifically what the desired affects are. If what my friend says doesn't scare me or make me nervous, then I'd ask for a day or two to think about it and do a little research of my own.
If you feel uncomfortable at all with the ritual itself or if you are too conflicted because of your own beliefs, don't do it. The last thing your friend wants to do is make you uncomfortable or upset in any way. Quite the contrary, he/she wants to help, but knowing or realizing that you really aren't comfortable with it, but are doing it just to appease him/her, could send the signal that you don't take his/her religious beliefs seriously. Since that's most likely not the case, it's best to be honest with your friend. Listen to all the reasons, everything that's expected to happen and the desired outcome, think about it, research it - allow yourself to see your friend's point of view by setting aside your beliefs ONLY long enough to understand your friend's beliefs - then, taking your beliefs into consideration, decide what you'd be comfortable with and tell your friend. He/She should respect your decision without being hurt by it, if for no other reason then because your religions differ.
By learning about your friend's beliefs and religion, you're not betraying your own religion, but simply learning. There is nothing wrong with learning about another religion. If anything, it should strengthen your own beliefs. Be true to yourself and what you believe, just don't discount your friend's beliefs while upholding yours.
Gno is right, witches aren't bad or scary people at all and most of them simply believe in the power of the earth's energy rather than a spiritual god. I'm not clear on what your beliefs are, Michelle, but I'm a Christian and I would probably be hesitant to have a ritual performed on me. The only way I would be able to let a friend perform any kind of ritual on me is if my friend explained in detail her belief and reasoning behind why she wants to perform that particular ritual, exactly what to expect during the ritual and specifically what the desired affects are. If what my friend says doesn't scare me or make me nervous, then I'd ask for a day or two to think about it and do a little research of my own.
If you feel uncomfortable at all with the ritual itself or if you are too conflicted because of your own beliefs, don't do it. The last thing your friend wants to do is make you uncomfortable or upset in any way. Quite the contrary, he/she wants to help, but knowing or realizing that you really aren't comfortable with it, but are doing it just to appease him/her, could send the signal that you don't take his/her religious beliefs seriously. Since that's most likely not the case, it's best to be honest with your friend. Listen to all the reasons, everything that's expected to happen and the desired outcome, think about it, research it - allow yourself to see your friend's point of view by setting aside your beliefs ONLY long enough to understand your friend's beliefs - then, taking your beliefs into consideration, decide what you'd be comfortable with and tell your friend. He/She should respect your decision without being hurt by it, if for no other reason then because your religions differ.
By learning about your friend's beliefs and religion, you're not betraying your own religion, but simply learning. There is nothing wrong with learning about another religion. If anything, it should strengthen your own beliefs. Be true to yourself and what you believe, just don't discount your friend's beliefs while upholding yours.
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• The thing I like about this answer is the statement that, basically, the friend wants to 'help'. Their faith makes them think the ritual will help, BUT if it makes the other person feel insecure, that's not helping. A good friend should understand. That's what got this one best answer. Thanks!
As for personally, I'm open to all sorts of faiths, paths & beliefs. The universe is bigger than we fathom & I think there's a room for everything and everyone.
By philosophy, I am Taoist, for those who are wondering. By faith, I have an intimate relationship w/the universe that's personal to me.
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October 14, 2009 03:33 PM
Practicing rituals for almost 10 years now. Helpful Answer? (3)
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Go with your gut.
I am probably of a similar spiritual persuasion to your friend who wants to perform rituals. And I can tell you that these rituals really require you to have an open mind and accept healing energy. If you doubt yourself, if you doubt what you're doing then you're closing yourself off.
If you're talking about witchcraft, then you should know a few basic principles that hopefully debunk some worries or myths:
1. Just because someone performs a ritual with/on/for you, that doesn't mean you're "converted".
2. Witches don't recruit. They don't preach.
3. Witches don't worship the devil. They don't worship evil. White witchcraft has NOTHING to do with the devil. In fact, they don't even believe in the "devil". It is nothing dark or bad. Only positivity, energy, nature, and the universe. (Not so far from mainstream religions, eh?)
4. Almost all witches believe in god(s) in some form or another. Almost all are loving, positive, spiritual people.
5. Most witchcraft draws from the power of the earth and the universe. If in your religion you ever felt a sense of connectivity to the world and beyond, then maybe this isn't such a far reach to imagine tapping into this for healthy energy?
But really, you have to do what YOU feel comfortable with. If you really think it goes against your religious beliefs then don't force it. The ritual is supposed to be a positive and uplifting experience. If it'll be anything else for you, then you should decline.
But personally, I'm rooting for you to give it a shot! The universe may just impress you.
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I am probably of a similar spiritual persuasion to your friend who wants to perform rituals. And I can tell you that these rituals really require you to have an open mind and accept healing energy. If you doubt yourself, if you doubt what you're doing then you're closing yourself off.
If you're talking about witchcraft, then you should know a few basic principles that hopefully debunk some worries or myths:
1. Just because someone performs a ritual with/on/for you, that doesn't mean you're "converted".
2. Witches don't recruit. They don't preach.
3. Witches don't worship the devil. They don't worship evil. White witchcraft has NOTHING to do with the devil. In fact, they don't even believe in the "devil". It is nothing dark or bad. Only positivity, energy, nature, and the universe. (Not so far from mainstream religions, eh?)
4. Almost all witches believe in god(s) in some form or another. Almost all are loving, positive, spiritual people.
5. Most witchcraft draws from the power of the earth and the universe. If in your religion you ever felt a sense of connectivity to the world and beyond, then maybe this isn't such a far reach to imagine tapping into this for healthy energy?
But really, you have to do what YOU feel comfortable with. If you really think it goes against your religious beliefs then don't force it. The ritual is supposed to be a positive and uplifting experience. If it'll be anything else for you, then you should decline.
But personally, I'm rooting for you to give it a shot! The universe may just impress you.
Practicing rituals for almost 10 years now. Helpful Answer?
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October 14, 2009 11:24 PM
I am nominating your answer here for AOTD. It's a great answer, well thought out, and interesting!
Good Luck!!
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Good Luck!!
October 15, 2009 04:36 PM
Congratulations! Your answer won first place in our Answer of the Day contest! You win $5.00 and are now the proud owner of the Mahalo Tiki Torch!
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October 18, 2009 06:57 AM
Thank you for the well-thought out answer. I've actually had several witch friends and respect their compassion and love of nature. The Wiccan beliefs mirror native American beliefs a lot, and I really appreciate and respect those.
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October 14, 2009 06:16 PM
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First of all, I'm an agnostic, so I really don't have religious objections here.
As for my answer, depends on what the rituals are. If it's something like my standing around while the friend prays or meditates or recites something, sure, I'll go along with it. I won't believe it'll help, but what harm can it do? I'd also be reluctant, but willing to do things like participate in ceremonies or whatnot.
However, I draw the line at anything that involves ingesting things / actually doing something substantial myself. Things like this can actually make my health worse.
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As for my answer, depends on what the rituals are. If it's something like my standing around while the friend prays or meditates or recites something, sure, I'll go along with it. I won't believe it'll help, but what harm can it do? I'd also be reluctant, but willing to do things like participate in ceremonies or whatnot.
However, I draw the line at anything that involves ingesting things / actually doing something substantial myself. Things like this can actually make my health worse.
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October 18, 2009 07:06 AM
I agree with ingesting things, especially if you don't know what it is. I participated in a Reiki Circle once, where I was the recipient of 'energy' for healing. It was a unique experience. So yes, I agree with you; it does matter a little what the ritual is.
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October 14, 2009 07:13 PM
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If they want to perform 'strange religious rituals' on me... well they can forget it. Would I tell them so bluntly? well maybe not if they are my friend. I'd thank them for the offer and say its not for me. I'd only really become more insistent if they ignored my request.
If they wanted to tell me about them, or explain what they are thats fine. I love a good story and I'm willing to listen and learn about what they believe. I'm all for sharing and learning but if those rituals couldn't fit within the frameworks of my beliefs then thats where I would draw the line.
Its the difference between learning about something and actively being involved in doing it. And whilst as you say its unlikely to hurt me physically I would be concerned that it may be damaging spiritually.
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If they wanted to tell me about them, or explain what they are thats fine. I love a good story and I'm willing to listen and learn about what they believe. I'm all for sharing and learning but if those rituals couldn't fit within the frameworks of my beliefs then thats where I would draw the line.
Its the difference between learning about something and actively being involved in doing it. And whilst as you say its unlikely to hurt me physically I would be concerned that it may be damaging spiritually.
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October 18, 2009 07:10 AM
It's great that you're willing to listen and learn more, but I get what you mean about making a choice about what actually happens to you and your body. I think that was the point of my question right there that you nailed: can it/ do you feel it could hurt you spiritually. I think some people do.
Such as the post by @gno where she says witches aren't bad, etc. I agree with her. Some of the best people I've ever met have been practicing witches, BUT the Bible does admonish against witchcraft. Sooo.... can a practicing devout Christian by faith allow a witchcraft ritual knowingly without damaging them spiritually?
that was really what I think the question was trying to discern.
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Such as the post by @gno where she says witches aren't bad, etc. I agree with her. Some of the best people I've ever met have been practicing witches, BUT the Bible does admonish against witchcraft. Sooo.... can a practicing devout Christian by faith allow a witchcraft ritual knowingly without damaging them spiritually?
that was really what I think the question was trying to discern.
October 14, 2009 08:55 PM
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I don't really subscribe to the logic that I shouldn't mind just because I believe they won't do anything. My friend is wasting my time and believing in things that I think are not just false, but stupid. I would tell them to perform their rituals quietly in their own home without bothering me and ruining my workflow. I may also caution them against bringing the topic up again.
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October 15, 2009 01:39 AM
Hey jkepler. I like you. You're a good person. But I caution you against judging someone else's beliefs as "stupid". I would never ask you to agree with my beliefs, but at the outset pretty much any belief could be seen as "stupid", even the mainstream religions.
I'm sure your friend would never want to waste your time, bother you, or ruin your workflow.
I hope you might let go of some of your anger toward other religions. If you don't do so in your private life, you might want to consider doing so in your public life. You wouldn't come on a board like this and call Jews "stupid". So please remember that your friends, people who like you, are on this board and I'm sure you wouldn't want to hurt them (*cough*). :)
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I'm sure your friend would never want to waste your time, bother you, or ruin your workflow.
I hope you might let go of some of your anger toward other religions. If you don't do so in your private life, you might want to consider doing so in your public life. You wouldn't come on a board like this and call Jews "stupid". So please remember that your friends, people who like you, are on this board and I'm sure you wouldn't want to hurt them (*cough*). :)
October 15, 2009 02:13 AM
Hi gno. Thanks for caring enough to reply, but I think you and I are viewing this in different contexts. I don't think there is a single popular or mainstream religion in this world that performs what the original asker is describing as "strange religious rituals." Eliminating those, you're left with cults. My understanding of the definition of "ritual" is that it can include drinking strange, polluted, or generally unstomachable fluids, hypnotism, mantras, and other stuff I would not only define as "stupid" but also as dangerous. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
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October 15, 2009 02:28 AM
I think I'll follow up on this with just a little more detail. Praying isn't a "strange religious ritual." Neither is bowing, the laying on of hands, meditating, traveling to holy cities, wearing religious robes or clothing, or even burning candles (thanks to my somewhat limited knowledge of Catholicism). How many appropriate actions does that really leave?
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October 15, 2009 02:49 AM
Well, for the sake of information, some examples of other rituals might include laying stones on a person, lighting/waving incense around a person, maybe drinking an herbal tea (and I mean like peppermint tea, nothing nefarious).
I agree that harming someone else, poisoning them, or trying to remove their free will is dangerous, cruel, and wrong.
You probably can understand that I am a little more wary of labeling spiritualities negatively. In fact, the word "cult" makes me cringe as I find it's often too liberally and eagerly applied. But I think I understand where you're coming from. :)
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I agree that harming someone else, poisoning them, or trying to remove their free will is dangerous, cruel, and wrong.
You probably can understand that I am a little more wary of labeling spiritualities negatively. In fact, the word "cult" makes me cringe as I find it's often too liberally and eagerly applied. But I think I understand where you're coming from. :)
October 15, 2009 02:56 PM
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No, I would not encourage my friend in her mistaken beliefs, I don't care how much better it made her feel. I believe that any spiritual power that does not come from God comes from Satan, and that those who practice Wicca and other occult religions that attempt to draw power from "nature" or the"universe" and not directly from God are unknowingly serving the devil, even if they don't claim to worship him.
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