First I want to congratulate you on falling in love.

This is a difficult question and not something I can answer based on experience so as always a little research goes a long way.

I actually found an Ehow article about this
How to Tell Parents About a Gay Lover.
http://www.ehow.com/how_2308491_tell-parents-gay-lover-.html

& How to Come out of the Closet
http://www.ehow.com/how_2046784_come-out-closet.html?ref=Track2&utm_source=ask

It seems both talk about talking direclty in a private location & I like the second article's advice about telling friends first to start the process.

You should remember first and foremost that your parents are your parents before they are Southern Republican Christians as you describe them.

It may be that their value system will make the topic of your sexuality more difficult than if they were of a more liberal mind set, but regardless, they are your parents.

If they have worked to raise you to become a smart college enrolled woman, if they are supporting you now to ensure your education, they obviously have vested themselves in you. To do that, they must care and above all love you as all parents should.

Will the news shock them? yes, there is no way to avoid that. Will there be some degree of drama? Perhaps, depends on their personalities. Will they grow to accept it? Yes. you are who you are, they cannot change that. Will they grow to accept you and your partner? In all likelihood, yes. Do not expect this to happen overnight though.

Strong families, regardless of political persuasions become stronger whenever something unexpected happens. The important thing for you to do is to select a moment when their is no other family turbulence in the air. Do not do it during a holiday period, a birthday or anything like that. Pick a neutral time frame for the announcement, do it in person, do not sugar coat it; and as I stated above, don't expect immediate approval, be patient and tolerant, allow them the time to digest it.

Good luck to you, I wish you and your partner the best.

It must be a difficult situation that you're in. Here you are, in love and happy and you can't even joyously share that wonderful news with the people you care about the most - your family. I can't imagine how heartbreaking AND nerve wrecking that must be for you.

It's unfortunate that we live in a society where every tiniest detail that makes us just a little different (from religion to color of skin to sexual preference to the car you drive to how much a person weighs or how much money they make)makes us an outcast in someway to some group. I applaud you for being on the front lines supporting gay rights. As more and more people get involved change is certain. After all, a woman who refused to giver her seat up on a bus had a pretty big impact!

I am surrounded by Southern Republican BAPTIST Christians and I feel your fear. I know how set in their ways some of those people can be. People who don't know REALLY don't know! You have to understand that southern culture to get it. Everybody talks and you sure as hell don't want it to be your loved ones in the middle of a heated discussion in the church parking lot after Sunday service. So not only do you have to worry about how your parents feel about it, but you also have to worry about their worrying what other people will say, think or do when you swing that closet door open wide.

There are two ways to approach this: head on or discreetly. You know your parents better than anyone else. Which would they appreciate more? Total upfront honesty or would they prefer to learn that they're daughter is gay a few details at a time?

If you plan on hitting them head on, do it at a time when no other tension or frustration is in the air. You may want to schedule dinner with your parents and say something on the lines of, "I wanted to let you both know that I have fallen in love. This person is wonderful and they treat me very well. I've never been happier and I hope you will both be happy for me. This person is (insert name). I know this must be a shock for you as it was even surprising to me - I didn't know I was gay before falling in love with (insert name). I've lost many nights of sleep over how to say this and because I have been terrified of how you would react. I'm the same daughter you loved 5 minutes ago and I hope you will still support and love me now."

Now, keep in mind every family is different and you know what words will be best for your parents. Say what comes easiest. Don't be scared to cry and don't be ashamed of who you are. You're the same person you have always been, just in love now!

If you want to gradually bring this issue before them it's a good idea to talk about your girlfriend often. Let it be known each time the two of you go out or spend time together. Bring up the fact that you're both involved in gay activism. You may even point out that she is gay in a non direct way. For example, you may say something about a woman she has dated in the past or how her parents reacted to her telling them she was a lesbian. You'll want to be sure to get your girlfriend's permission before telling any personal details about her life though. You can even say things like, "I have to find a special gift for (insert name) because her birthday is coming up -- or Christmas." More times than not, the picture that you're painting for them will eventually become crystal clear and they'll just know.

Most children have one parent that they confide in a bit more than the other. Have you considered going to that parent first? I know you would like for this to be out in the open completely, but sometimes having the support of one parent is better than neither. You would be able to discuss things with your parent and maybe they would be able to help you figure out the best way to tell your other parent that you're gay.

However you decide to tell your parent or parents, be confident. They need to know you're happy and that this isn't a college phase you're going through. But you should also be realistic. Their reaction is not likely to be one of, "Oh this is wonderful news honey!" They will have many emotions that may be negative; just like you do now. Chances are they'll be shocked, upset and will be wondering where they went wrong as parents..aka...how did they make you gay?. They may think they'll be robbed of grandchildren, be worried about what the neighbors might think, is you're going to hell or if other family members will reject you. You might be faced with questions or statements like, "Are you sure?" "You've not dated enough boys." or "The Bible says......"

Find yourself some support. You'll need it no matter what their reaction is. And offer them support too. The last two links that I'm listing will be great resources for both them and you. It will help you understand each other as well as allowing you both the comforting knowledge that parents and their gay children almost always go through a series of emotions and that's o.k! There's light at the end of the tunnel because those emotions can be dealt with, those fears can be calmed, with time the word "lesbian" will be less shocking and love between a parent and child overrides all else when it comes down to it!

This is one of those questions that I answer that I truly hope I can help in some small way (and that I wish I knew the outcome to!). I wish you the absolute best with this.

Love yourself and know you are exactly who you are meant to be - YOU! Never be ashamed of it and never apologize for it.

Love and be loved,
Robyn