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If a close friend approached you for advice, or for assistance, in an action that you know to be immoral or illegal, how do you evade it?

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twinpairs
twinpairs
Marked as Best! October 11, 2009 02:50 AM
I wouldn't evade their question or request. I would tell them that what they are asking is against my beliefs. I would explain why I think what they are asking is wrong. This would let them know who I am and what type of person I am. They would most likely not make that request again.

I actually had a friend ask me to go to court and lie for him. I refused. He found another friend to lie for him and was all set. However, he has never asked me anything like that again. Here again honesty is the best policy.

The following video may help you to be assertive and say NO:
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• Thank you for your answer. Being direct in the refusal is the best advice for that situation. Thank You.
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shinju
shinju
October 11, 2009 09:23 PM
I had a situation in which a "friend" asked me to lie regarding his whereabouts upon leaving jail. I refused. I was essentially thinking about the consequences to my life, if I were to get caught in that lie. No thanks! His father told this friend that he disagreed with my decision. I guess I don't think much about either one of them, for expecting me to willingly go along with such a request.
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jkepler
jkepler
October 11, 2009 04:53 AM
I would flat out refuse, and try to do it in as clear and brief a way as possible. I think part of the solution is prevention. It would be great if you could give your friend the impression that you'd never be interested even before they ask. That way, both of you get to save face and have a more amicable relationship.
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omicron
omicron
October 11, 2009 09:17 AM
If it's immoral, I'd say, "What you're proposing to do is immoral, so I don't want any part to do with it. Go ask someone else".

If it's illegal, I say, "It's illegal and you've already told me too much. See these fingers in my ears? La la la... Now go away and I'm going to try to pretend I didn't hear any of that, and if you get busted pray to God that I don't get summoned, because I will not perjure myself."
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sylviemac
sylviemac
October 11, 2009 01:04 PM
I would have to refuse and explain why. But I would also have to consider whether the friendship was worth continuing. It would depend whether he/she knew that what they were asking was immoral or illegal. If he/she wasn't aware of that, then maybe my reasons for refusing would help them make better choices in the future.
Source(s):
Personal choice and experience.
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cherise
cherise
October 12, 2009 01:22 AM
I tell them, "Dude, that's illegal/immoral!" and I quietly decide not to be their friend anymore.
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gaduputi
gaduputi
October 12, 2009 02:55 AM
when you are perfect gentle man having close friend , One should be right to tell without any hesitation to tell truth as you are perfect in the life journey, which is ultiamte for any body . Say truth and tell him the concequences of miss deads, if you carry the total life will be spoiled, and it will damge the friendship .If he disobey your sayings say goodbye to him, for ever to get ride of concequences further.
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