Answered Conundrum Next Conundrum
If you have a disagreement with a friend is it fair to make your other friends choose sides?
Interesting Question? Yes (0) No (0)- In Belief and Thought |
- |
- Report |
-
Share
RSS
Best Answer Chosen by Asker
Marked as Best!
December 15, 2009 04:10 PM
Helpful Answer?
(0)
(0)
Permalink |
Report
I would say generally not, but there are some exceptions. I ended a friendship because my ex and I split up, and I felt that my friend, who knew for a fact that my ex had been emotionally abusive, was acting like he did nothing wrong. In that situation, I felt like if she could be on his side, or "neutral," or whatever she thought she was, then I didn't want to have anything to do with her. She was condoning his abuse, so it was apparent that she was no friend of mine.
There are times when someone is so flat out wrong that any reasonable person would walk away from them. If you're in a situation like that, and your friends are not taking sides (thus condoning the unacceptable behavior), your "friends" are morons and you should leave if they won't see reason.
If the dispute is a matter of opinion, a misunderstanding, or something minor, then no, you friends should be able to stay out of it. They are, in my opinion, obligated to not talk about the other friend in your presence, however, and should not rub it in your face that they still spend time with her/him.
There are times when someone is so flat out wrong that any reasonable person would walk away from them. If you're in a situation like that, and your friends are not taking sides (thus condoning the unacceptable behavior), your "friends" are morons and you should leave if they won't see reason.
If the dispute is a matter of opinion, a misunderstanding, or something minor, then no, you friends should be able to stay out of it. They are, in my opinion, obligated to not talk about the other friend in your presence, however, and should not rub it in your face that they still spend time with her/him.
| Asker's Rating: |
(0)
(0)
Permalink |
Report
Reply
Other Answers (3)
December 15, 2009 02:05 PM
(0)
(0)
Permalink |
Report
Absolutely not! True friends wouldn't do that to one another. If I were in this situation, I'd find some way to work it out with my friend without expecting the others to get involved. My friends might decide to choose sides on their own, but I wouldn't ask them to. Seems like that would be a good way to lose even more friends if they decide to side with the other person!
Helpful Answer?
(0)
(0)
Permalink |
Report
Reply
December 15, 2009 02:39 PM
Experience Helpful Answer? (0)
(0)
Permalink |
Report
No, never !
What would you gain? When you have a disagreement with a friend, a true friend, the goal is not to "win" or prove them wrong, but to come to an understanding that you can both agree to.
If you start getting others involved at all, you are preparing an "exit strategy", for the time when the argument ends the friendship.
Why think in such a negative way?
Good friends are hard to find, and too easily lost !
Source(s):
What would you gain? When you have a disagreement with a friend, a true friend, the goal is not to "win" or prove them wrong, but to come to an understanding that you can both agree to.
If you start getting others involved at all, you are preparing an "exit strategy", for the time when the argument ends the friendship.
Why think in such a negative way?
Good friends are hard to find, and too easily lost !
Experience Helpful Answer?
(0)
(0)
Permalink |
Report
Reply
December 16, 2009 04:36 AM
(0)
(0)
Permalink |
Report
It isn't really fair to make friends take sides during an argument with someone, but honestly, in many cases it's inevitable. Suppose Alice is fighting with her friend Bob. Carol is Alice's friend, and not Bob. I can't think of a single way that Carol would be able to stay neutral in this. (I know; I've been in this position before.) She isn't hearing Bob's side, after all, and she doesn't have anything investing in not upsetting Bob.
Situations like these are why I try to stay out of friends' arguments. I feel uneasy about it sometimes, especially when I know the argument is upsetting them, but it's the only way to avoid taking sides.
Helpful Answer?
Situations like these are why I try to stay out of friends' arguments. I feel uneasy about it sometimes, especially when I know the argument is upsetting them, but it's the only way to avoid taking sides.
(0)
(0)
Permalink |
Report
Reply
Answer this Question
View All Belief and Thought QuestionsAsk a Conundrum
Please visit these retailers to purchase Conundrum or find the wine at these fine restaurants:
-
1991 St Helena Hwy
-
699 St Helena Hwy
-
1115 Main St
-
1321 Main St
- Twitter currently unavailable