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If your friend is pregnant for a second time, and her first pregnancy ended sadly in a still birth, is it appropriate to have a baby shower?
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November 01, 2009 03:20 AM
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Etiquette-wise, I believe it is thought to only be really appropriate to have a shower for a first baby. In this case, however, I think that there are a number of circumstances where the baby shower would be more than appropriate.
For instance, I would not be surprised if after losing her child, your friend got rid of all of the baby-related paraphanalia as seeing it might have been too painful. So throwing a shower to resupply her is understandable. In addition, I can understand not wanting to use anything that was designated for the lost baby for this new baby. To me, it almost feels like something of a bad omen.
Moreover, I think that a new baby is always a reason to celebrate, especially after such a tragic loss. Depending on your friend's wishes, the shower might be kept smaller, more intimate, perhaps a little more subdued. Mention of the first baby again depends on what your friend wants, but a small tribute could be nice.
For instance, I would not be surprised if after losing her child, your friend got rid of all of the baby-related paraphanalia as seeing it might have been too painful. So throwing a shower to resupply her is understandable. In addition, I can understand not wanting to use anything that was designated for the lost baby for this new baby. To me, it almost feels like something of a bad omen.
Moreover, I think that a new baby is always a reason to celebrate, especially after such a tragic loss. Depending on your friend's wishes, the shower might be kept smaller, more intimate, perhaps a little more subdued. Mention of the first baby again depends on what your friend wants, but a small tribute could be nice.
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November 01, 2009 06:56 AM
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It's appropriate any more to have a baby shower for each baby a person has. It used to be only appropriate for only 1 baby shower, ever. However, times have changed, and it doesn't matter how many a person has. It's even more appropriate in this case.
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November 01, 2009 02:59 PM
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I think it would be best to have a baby shower for her especially that she lost the first. It is like welcoming another baby with optimism and I think this would help your friend to fully recover from her first experience for she will be thinking more of what's ahead and giving a baby shower would be the first step in doing this.
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November 03, 2009 05:05 AM
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I think it is totally appropriate. I would let her know it was being planned so that it wasn't a surprise which might be too much for her to walk into a shower and be surprised. Sometimes being surprised can allow feelings to over flow when if you know in advance you can get those feelings of the 1st baby under control.
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