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My friend is dating a married man should I tell her that I don't approve?
I don't approve not only because I am concerned she'll end up hurt but she has turned slightly "fatal attraction" on him and is stalking him. Should I tell her how I feel?
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November 26, 2009 12:21 AM
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No, unless if she asks for your opinion. I think it would be best not to mind her business so that she will be offended. Of course, as a friend you are thinking what is good and best for her but sticking your nose on her private life will only make her defensive and she might think that you are being judgmental. Usually people who are in love or who think they are deeply in love cannot think clearly and rationally and have the tendency to be close-minded. Anything you will say against the relationship or the man she will take it as a threat to them, so better hold your tongue until the right time comes.
But if she will open up to you and ask for your advice, that is the time that you will give her a piece of your mind. Maybe she just needed some time to think and confused and this will be the appropriate time that you will tell her that having an affair with a married man is no-win situation. At this point, she will be open-minded to your advice or suggestions.
But in spite of your advice she will continue the affair, that is already up to her. At least you have done your part and advice her against continuing the relationship. The rest is up to her if she is going to listen or not, anyway whatever her decisions, she is the one who is going to face the consequences later. You can just pray that she will be enlightened and decided to do the right thing, that is to cut the relationship.
But if she will open up to you and ask for your advice, that is the time that you will give her a piece of your mind. Maybe she just needed some time to think and confused and this will be the appropriate time that you will tell her that having an affair with a married man is no-win situation. At this point, she will be open-minded to your advice or suggestions.
But in spite of your advice she will continue the affair, that is already up to her. At least you have done your part and advice her against continuing the relationship. The rest is up to her if she is going to listen or not, anyway whatever her decisions, she is the one who is going to face the consequences later. You can just pray that she will be enlightened and decided to do the right thing, that is to cut the relationship.
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November 25, 2009 11:35 PM
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So, your heart is hurting more than your friend's right now...
Sometimes you have to bite your tongue and let people learn the hard way. Then again, a married man isn't worth pursuing. He is cheating on his wife, and what kind of person does that make him out to be? Remind your friend of that :). He has nothing to lose, she does. He can't keep promises either, as he said "I do" the day he got married.
But then comes the human factor and being human, we are all weak when it comes to being in love with someone. They'd walk 500 miles or scale a high mountain naked for the one person they desperately have to be with. Your friend has no protection from that, so don't leave her vulnerable!
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Sometimes you have to bite your tongue and let people learn the hard way. Then again, a married man isn't worth pursuing. He is cheating on his wife, and what kind of person does that make him out to be? Remind your friend of that :). He has nothing to lose, she does. He can't keep promises either, as he said "I do" the day he got married.
But then comes the human factor and being human, we are all weak when it comes to being in love with someone. They'd walk 500 miles or scale a high mountain naked for the one person they desperately have to be with. Your friend has no protection from that, so don't leave her vulnerable!
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November 26, 2009 04:55 AM
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If you are her friend then absolutely. A true friend is one that can be completely honest, and one that expects the same in return. Explain to her that you care about her, and as much as you want her to be happy, this just doesn't sit right with you. She may be upset at first, but at least she will know that even in the most awkward or difficult situations, you'll be honest with her.
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November 27, 2009 03:55 PM
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It depends on the situation. I have few friends who are dating married men but those married men were separated so I can understand them. And I don't mind them that much as I also am busy with my own family life. I still consider them as friends.
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