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Should I make my son use his allowance on Christmas gifts for others?
My husband says it's his money and he should be able to spend it on what he wants. I want to teach him about giving and generosity am I going about it the wrong way?
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December 04, 2009 06:05 PM
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I think a lot of the decision depends on how much allowance your son gets.
If it is only enough to provide him with a few extras for his hobbies or sports interests, etc., having to spend it on Christmas gifts may be much too expensive.
If he gets a large enough allowance that there is quite a bit left over, it would be nice for him to pick out small inexpensive gifts for others so that he gets the value of being generous without feeling that he has been stripped of whatever money he has managed to save.
You can also suggest homemade gifts that he could make and give that would not cost him any money. That way he would learn about giving but, again, not feel that he was "being taken advantage of".
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If it is only enough to provide him with a few extras for his hobbies or sports interests, etc., having to spend it on Christmas gifts may be much too expensive.
If he gets a large enough allowance that there is quite a bit left over, it would be nice for him to pick out small inexpensive gifts for others so that he gets the value of being generous without feeling that he has been stripped of whatever money he has managed to save.
You can also suggest homemade gifts that he could make and give that would not cost him any money. That way he would learn about giving but, again, not feel that he was "being taken advantage of".
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December 04, 2009 07:33 PM
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I think you shouldn't. If it's his will, out of nowhere, he suddenly came up and said 'mom i want to do use it to give stuff to others' Id let him do it. But, first giving him money, then telling him he has to give it away, his very very very first emotion will be that of being ripped off his own present. He'll think 'why do you have to take my money to give presents to others and not to me' . Its a contradictory lesson 'i give you this then i take it away and you help me give someone else the stuff you wanted to buy'
I think its about talking to him about generosity, teaching him independently of his allowance, maybe take him to an orphanage to give away presents YOU bought with YOUR money. Once he sees children who have nothing getting something from someone else (in this case you) he might want to do the same. whichever percentage he feels like using eventually for himself of others is something you should respect as well...
Anyway, those are my personal thoughts
Cheers!!
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I think its about talking to him about generosity, teaching him independently of his allowance, maybe take him to an orphanage to give away presents YOU bought with YOUR money. Once he sees children who have nothing getting something from someone else (in this case you) he might want to do the same. whichever percentage he feels like using eventually for himself of others is something you should respect as well...
Anyway, those are my personal thoughts
Cheers!!
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December 04, 2009 08:04 PM
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I don't think you should.
An allowance is supposed to be something that a kid gets because he *needs* it.
If he's getting enough allowance to spare for gifts, then you're giving the kid more than he needs.
Besides, as Norman Freeman put better than I've ever heard anyone say it... kids don't listen to what we say, but they *definitely* watch what we *do*, so if you want to teach your kid to save parts of his allowance for gifts, then don't tell him to do it... rather... tell him when he asks why you're sticking money in a cash-box in a cookie jar that it's because you're saving part of your own household allowance for gifts, and that it's because if you don't, then you won't be able to afford to give gifts at Christmas.
Not only will it get his attention as he dreads the idea of perhaps not getting a gift, it *might* get him to thinking about what a schmuck people will think he is if he can't afford to give any himself.
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An allowance is supposed to be something that a kid gets because he *needs* it.
If he's getting enough allowance to spare for gifts, then you're giving the kid more than he needs.
Besides, as Norman Freeman put better than I've ever heard anyone say it... kids don't listen to what we say, but they *definitely* watch what we *do*, so if you want to teach your kid to save parts of his allowance for gifts, then don't tell him to do it... rather... tell him when he asks why you're sticking money in a cash-box in a cookie jar that it's because you're saving part of your own household allowance for gifts, and that it's because if you don't, then you won't be able to afford to give gifts at Christmas.
Not only will it get his attention as he dreads the idea of perhaps not getting a gift, it *might* get him to thinking about what a schmuck people will think he is if he can't afford to give any himself.
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December 05, 2009 05:22 AM
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I remember as a child my parents would give us a "Christmas bonus" on top of our normal allowance. They would usually start doing this when we were 10 or 11. It was never forced upon us, but it was implied, that it would be nice if at that age we start doing a little bit of Christmas shopping for those we care about.
They always coupled this with another tradition that we still carry on today, they also encouraged us to buy one gift for ourselves, wrap it and place under the tree.
Personally, this helped me appreciate money more and also provided me with practical examples on how to budget for the holidays.
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They always coupled this with another tradition that we still carry on today, they also encouraged us to buy one gift for ourselves, wrap it and place under the tree.
Personally, this helped me appreciate money more and also provided me with practical examples on how to budget for the holidays.
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