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When you meet people is it hard for you to tell if they are just a distant person or really a very shy person?
Sometimes they both seem to look the same at first glance. do you have a method of distinguishing which is the case?
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4 answerers thought this was unfair.
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October 23, 2009 08:47 AM
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With the shy people I have met, they seem to have very bad eye contact..whereas distant people have eye contact but you can kind of see them lookin' right through you. That is usually how I can tell the difference but there are still quite a few where I just can't tell! :)
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October 23, 2009 09:46 AM
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I feel them to be one and the same. I also feel that if they are adults, they have been hiding behind the "shy" bit as an excuse for not having to interact with other people. Same goes for distant people. May sound mean, but it's a heck of a cop out!
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October 23, 2009 12:09 PM
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I just generally have a knack for reading people, but I would say body language tells it.
A shy person generally depicts a body language that lacks confidence. They slouch, they avoid eye contact, when looked at directly they tend to fidget and appear uncomfortable, etc. they do however generally displace a friendly demeanor. They are interested in meeting people but are too shy to do so.
A distant person generally depicts a lack of interest but ample confidence. They stand up straight, they have no issue with you focusing on them, but they aren't that interested in you. They stare off into the distance, tend to give short responses that don't initiate further conversation and can just be generally sort of curt and almost unfriendly.
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A shy person generally depicts a body language that lacks confidence. They slouch, they avoid eye contact, when looked at directly they tend to fidget and appear uncomfortable, etc. they do however generally displace a friendly demeanor. They are interested in meeting people but are too shy to do so.
A distant person generally depicts a lack of interest but ample confidence. They stand up straight, they have no issue with you focusing on them, but they aren't that interested in you. They stare off into the distance, tend to give short responses that don't initiate further conversation and can just be generally sort of curt and almost unfriendly.
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October 26, 2009 05:12 PM
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There's maybe not as much difference as you think.
First of all, know that few people are distant with everyone, or shy in all situations. Whether people are distant or shy or open or confident with you has a good deal to do with you. Also with the circumstances in which you encounter them.
What's common is that either you specifically or people generally seem intimidating or dangerous or something of that sort to the distant or shy person. If you seem interesting and appealing and yet intimdating, they might act more "shy". If you seem intimidating and not especially interesting, maybe they'll act more "distant".
If was me, I'd just concentrate on being friendly and approachable myself, and let them respond as they will. Not making a big deal of it if they prefer to keep to themselves, and being ready to connect if they want to do that.
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First of all, know that few people are distant with everyone, or shy in all situations. Whether people are distant or shy or open or confident with you has a good deal to do with you. Also with the circumstances in which you encounter them.
What's common is that either you specifically or people generally seem intimidating or dangerous or something of that sort to the distant or shy person. If you seem interesting and appealing and yet intimdating, they might act more "shy". If you seem intimidating and not especially interesting, maybe they'll act more "distant".
If was me, I'd just concentrate on being friendly and approachable myself, and let them respond as they will. Not making a big deal of it if they prefer to keep to themselves, and being ready to connect if they want to do that.
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