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Your daughter calls to ask you to bail your son in law out of jail because they don't have the money. Do you do it?
You're expecting it to be sixty dollars for a past ticket. When you get there you find out it's acutally a warrant for numerous traffic violations and it's going to cost three hundred dollars do you still pay it?
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November 25, 2009 04:34 PM
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I see several options . . .
1) Tough love
Nope, you were mislead, bated, and switched in hopes that you would pay the total. I would give her $60 and tell her to ask his parents for the remainder.
2) Somewhat tough
It is paid, do not expect Christmas or birthday gifts for the upcoming year.
3) Easy Going
Pay it off and let them know they owe you three nice dinners. ^_^ These can be nice home cooked meals if money is tight. . . After all this is the first time they have called upon you for a boneheaded move like this right?
I would look at the options above and ask myself how often do I get called on for this or other financial needs by them:
If rarely or never I would use option 3, if occationally I would use option 2, if frequently I would use option 1.
This assumes you have a decent amount squirlled away for emergencies, if you are in a financially tough situation yourself skip right to option 1. It is nice to want to help, but don't leave your self in a bind.
1) Tough love
Nope, you were mislead, bated, and switched in hopes that you would pay the total. I would give her $60 and tell her to ask his parents for the remainder.
2) Somewhat tough
It is paid, do not expect Christmas or birthday gifts for the upcoming year.
3) Easy Going
Pay it off and let them know they owe you three nice dinners. ^_^ These can be nice home cooked meals if money is tight. . . After all this is the first time they have called upon you for a boneheaded move like this right?
I would look at the options above and ask myself how often do I get called on for this or other financial needs by them:
If rarely or never I would use option 3, if occationally I would use option 2, if frequently I would use option 1.
This assumes you have a decent amount squirlled away for emergencies, if you are in a financially tough situation yourself skip right to option 1. It is nice to want to help, but don't leave your self in a bind.
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November 25, 2009 07:18 PM
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He isn't learning anything by being bailed out by both sets of parents. Paying traffic tickets is his own responsibility and they will let him out of jail in a few hours usually for tickets I believe.
I think you should tell them you don't have anything ( other than perhaps the $60.00 that you expected to pay).
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I think you should tell them you don't have anything ( other than perhaps the $60.00 that you expected to pay).
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November 25, 2009 09:58 PM
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My ex-husband could have been the son-in-law in this case. I bailed him out numerous times for small things. He always swore that he has nothing more. Then we were in a city two hours from home and got pulled over. He was arrested on several more warrants. I did not have enough money so my parents drove two hours to bail him out. As we started on the way home in our car, he started bad mouthing my parents. I wished we had left him there.
I do not know your son-in-law or any of the circumstances, but I would be leary if they did not tell you up front how much it was going to cost.
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I do not know your son-in-law or any of the circumstances, but I would be leary if they did not tell you up front how much it was going to cost.
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November 26, 2009 07:41 PM
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If the need for bail was brought about by repetitive actions of irresponsibility, such as multiple unpaid tickets would be, I would still loan them the money; but I would do so with stern conditions for repayment. Not because the amount were of great significance, but rather, if I did not attach such conditions to it, I would be contributing to the behavior of irresponsibility.
If the bail were required for a crime not as petty as unpaid parking tickets, I would have to reflect further before making a decision.
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If the bail were required for a crime not as petty as unpaid parking tickets, I would have to reflect further before making a decision.
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