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October 23, 2009 08:25 PM
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I am answering this question as a man so keep that in mind.
*I have gone out intentionally looking for one night stands.
*I have also had one night stands that turned out to be relationships.
At certain points in my life the company of a woman for one night was all I was looking for. There were reasons for each time. To deal with heartache, to try to sooth a broken heart without the fear of getting attached again, genuinely feeling relationship were worthless, and more often than the other times because they were fun. Compatibility in these situations only boiled down to how all men and women are compatible sexually.I have only once felt it was a mistake when I slept with a very close friend and things got complicated, we got over it and honestly now its like it only happened in a dream.
I have been in a relationship for 7 years now. I am happier than I have ever been in my dating life. It started as what I thought would be a good time, not really a one night stand but a fling that would last only a few weeks. Here I am seven years later on the verge of asking her to marry me, but I digress. So we'll leave it at that.
*I have gone out intentionally looking for one night stands.
*I have also had one night stands that turned out to be relationships.
At certain points in my life the company of a woman for one night was all I was looking for. There were reasons for each time. To deal with heartache, to try to sooth a broken heart without the fear of getting attached again, genuinely feeling relationship were worthless, and more often than the other times because they were fun. Compatibility in these situations only boiled down to how all men and women are compatible sexually.I have only once felt it was a mistake when I slept with a very close friend and things got complicated, we got over it and honestly now its like it only happened in a dream.
I have been in a relationship for 7 years now. I am happier than I have ever been in my dating life. It started as what I thought would be a good time, not really a one night stand but a fling that would last only a few weeks. Here I am seven years later on the verge of asking her to marry me, but I digress. So we'll leave it at that.
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October 23, 2009 07:57 PM
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For me it's just a heat of the moment thing. I have never gone in looking for one at all...I mean there might of been someone I was interested in around at the time, but getting with them wasn't my intention. So I would say it's more of an error....
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October 23, 2009 08:23 PM
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I've never had a one night stand and likely never will being that I'm now married.
I've always believed that "sex" has become cheapened in our day and age to be little more than a hand shake. I take it very seriously. You're allowing someone else into your body quite literally, that can have emotional and physical long-term effects... whether you are using protection or not.
Because of that, I never supported sex without love and generally in the case of one night stands love is not present. In my opinion if you have sex with someone you should be prepared to have their children, and feel you know them well enough that their word they don't carry diseases can be trusted. (even then it's still a risk)
On the note of being an error in compatibility no, I do think that one night stands are a result of the chemical reaction we label lust, however without love, lust fizzles after the act. You can be compatible with lots of people, you shouldn't have sex with them all.
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I've always believed that "sex" has become cheapened in our day and age to be little more than a hand shake. I take it very seriously. You're allowing someone else into your body quite literally, that can have emotional and physical long-term effects... whether you are using protection or not.
Because of that, I never supported sex without love and generally in the case of one night stands love is not present. In my opinion if you have sex with someone you should be prepared to have their children, and feel you know them well enough that their word they don't carry diseases can be trusted. (even then it's still a risk)
On the note of being an error in compatibility no, I do think that one night stands are a result of the chemical reaction we label lust, however without love, lust fizzles after the act. You can be compatible with lots of people, you shouldn't have sex with them all.
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October 24, 2009 11:31 PM
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I've never had a one-night stand, so I'm not really in a position to answer for myself. I will say, however, that all people are different. For some people it might indeed be the result of an error in communication; other people just want to spend a night without any strings attached, and never see that person again.
Another common misconception is that this is a gendered thing. It's not. There are plenty of women who seek out one-night stands, and plenty of men who don't, regardless of what societal perceptions will tell you.
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Another common misconception is that this is a gendered thing. It's not. There are plenty of women who seek out one-night stands, and plenty of men who don't, regardless of what societal perceptions will tell you.
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November 18, 2009 07:53 AM
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For me, my two were simply moments of weakness. I'm a singer and I tour several months per year. Touring is very lonely. I hate to admit it, but a couple of times while on tour I gave in to the loneliness and had one-night stands. I'm not proud of it.
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