Answered Conundrum Next Conundrum
Best Answer Chosen by Asker
Marked as Best!
September 27, 2009 10:01 PM
(1)
(0)
Permalink |
Report
In on-line dating site forums which I have frequented, there is a guideline reputedly called the "Rule of Kings" which recommends that the maximum age difference between two potential partners should be one half the eldest person's age plus seven years. Therefore, according to this guideline, the minimum recommended ages for partners with a 15 year difference would be 29 and 44 years old.
That being said, when I was 25 years old, I began dating a man who was 40 years old. We dated for three years, living together for two of those years. Although we enjoyed one another's company very much, we were at vastly different places in our lives. He had been married three times, already, and had three children (two 19 year old boys and an 8 year old boy). He was only the fourth man I had dated. I had taken my first professional position two years prior (we worked at the same company). After three years, he took a job in another state. Although he asked me to join him, I was not ready to commit to him for life. We parted friends and still maintain contact as friends.
Each circumstance will be different. Only you and your potential partner can really say whether there is enough common ground to support a relationship. My opinion, however, is that you should pursue it and see where it leads. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
That being said, when I was 25 years old, I began dating a man who was 40 years old. We dated for three years, living together for two of those years. Although we enjoyed one another's company very much, we were at vastly different places in our lives. He had been married three times, already, and had three children (two 19 year old boys and an 8 year old boy). He was only the fourth man I had dated. I had taken my first professional position two years prior (we worked at the same company). After three years, he took a job in another state. Although he asked me to join him, I was not ready to commit to him for life. We parted friends and still maintain contact as friends.
Each circumstance will be different. Only you and your potential partner can really say whether there is enough common ground to support a relationship. My opinion, however, is that you should pursue it and see where it leads. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
| Asker's Rating: |
• Thank you. I like the formula also.
Helpful Answer?
(1)
(0)
Permalink |
Report
Reply
Other Answers (4)
September 27, 2009 12:30 PM
(0)
(0)
Permalink |
Report
If its meant to be it will happen..I am female and had a 4 year relationship with someone 15 years my junior. The whole time thinking it was my "cougar moment" and it would end after the fun was over and the real problems in life started. He stuck with me and by me more than any man my age. We were married in April 09'
Helpful Answer?
(0)
(0)
Permalink |
Report
Reply
September 27, 2009 03:59 PM
(1)
(0)
Permalink |
Report
I think it depends on the age of the two people. 45 and 60 isn't a large stretch; 20 and 35 almost always is. Do you share any of the same friends or have similar lifestyles? Remember that it's up to you if you decide it's something you want to pursue. Many great things in life don't happen unless you make an effort.
Money is one other thing to keep in mind, and not just in terms of retirement. Someone 15 years ahead in their career will often view it and spending it differently than someone younger. Each person could also negatively view the other one's spending habits.
Helpful Answer?
Money is one other thing to keep in mind, and not just in terms of retirement. Someone 15 years ahead in their career will often view it and spending it differently than someone younger. Each person could also negatively view the other one's spending habits.
(1)
(0)
Permalink |
Report
Reply
September 27, 2009 11:56 PM
(1)
(0)
Permalink |
Report
I agree with those above who have said it's more about where you are in life than age. I only want to add this: consider how your life experience is different from theirs, and make sure you are communicating as openly as possible. If this person is young enough that they may misinterpret your intentions and get hurt, you need to take special care to make sure that they are on the same page as you are. Younger people tend to err on the side of "well, if s/he showed me affection, it must mean they really care about me and are wanting a serious relationship." Not to be too stereotypical, but this is especially true of young women. If you are a young woman's first big relationship, assume that 15 years age gap is going to mean a LOT. You can't do a typical "let's just see where it goes" routine if they are going head over heals.
Helpful Answer?
(1)
(0)
Permalink |
Report
Reply
