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October 22, 2009 09:14 PM
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No, I do not believe jealousy can ever be a positive thing when it is cultivated. It might, eventually, lead to some positive actions, but the emotion, itself, is a symptom that something is wrong. It's like pain. Nobody likes pain, but it is a warning sign to which we should pay attention that something is wrong.
I see jealousy as an emotional state with no redeeming value. That's because I see jealousy as being born of fear, mistrust, or low self-confidence. I can't see where cultivating any emotion begot from those conditions could be a good thing. Recognizing jealousy is a call to communicate and act, but jealousy itself is never something which should be nurtured or cultivated.
Jealousy in a relationship indicates that there are trust issues. I don't want a mate who is jealous of me, I want a mate who loves and trusts me and communicates openly with me about fears.
Coveting what others have for yourself is not jealousy unless you intend to deprive others of the things/situation/success which you desire/covet.
I see jealousy as an emotional state with no redeeming value. That's because I see jealousy as being born of fear, mistrust, or low self-confidence. I can't see where cultivating any emotion begot from those conditions could be a good thing. Recognizing jealousy is a call to communicate and act, but jealousy itself is never something which should be nurtured or cultivated.
Jealousy in a relationship indicates that there are trust issues. I don't want a mate who is jealous of me, I want a mate who loves and trusts me and communicates openly with me about fears.
Coveting what others have for yourself is not jealousy unless you intend to deprive others of the things/situation/success which you desire/covet.
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October 22, 2009 07:01 PM
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I think it can be.
In my relationship, we both have some jealousy issues...
The one girl who bothers me the most, I begged him not to hang out with her...the one day she wanted him to, he didn't and she got arrested...if he had been with her he would of been too.
So in my opinion sometimes it helps keep the other out of trouble...
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In my relationship, we both have some jealousy issues...
The one girl who bothers me the most, I begged him not to hang out with her...the one day she wanted him to, he didn't and she got arrested...if he had been with her he would of been too.
So in my opinion sometimes it helps keep the other out of trouble...
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October 22, 2009 07:08 PM
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It depends on the type of jealously and how it affects your life. It can actually have a rather sweeping range of definitions. I don't want to be "jealous" of people who have more money than I do in a specifically negative way, but if I didn't want to be where they are then my level of motivation simply wouldn't be the same.
Also, in relationships, one way to interpret a complete lack of jealously is complete indifference, which is an obvious negative too. I think it all comes down to the words you want to use to define the underlying feeling. It can be a positive, but only if you choose to refer to it that way instead of using different language.
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Also, in relationships, one way to interpret a complete lack of jealously is complete indifference, which is an obvious negative too. I think it all comes down to the words you want to use to define the underlying feeling. It can be a positive, but only if you choose to refer to it that way instead of using different language.
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October 22, 2009 07:20 PM
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Of course being "jealous" can be a good sign sometimes. :) If you're feeling jealous when your partner has other people attracted to him, then it shows that the love is still there. ^^ In real life, it's pretty normal if we get jealous on some things around us. If we're jealous of a certain person's luck or success, the tendency is that we would strive harder right? Sometimes it get us do something good.
But of course in the end, it's in the matter of how we handle the feeling. The jealousy we feel could lead us to being a better person or not. So it still depends on us.
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But of course in the end, it's in the matter of how we handle the feeling. The jealousy we feel could lead us to being a better person or not. So it still depends on us.
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October 22, 2009 07:30 PM
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I think jealousy can only be good, in ways that make you want to be like/do what the person/thing you are jealous of is like/doing. for some of the other answers, its just luck, but if your jealous of something, then try to aspire to reach that, you have used it to achieve something, kind of like a personal goal.
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October 22, 2009 10:11 PM
Again, that's admiration not jealousy. I love to read about Jack Canfield. He had a billion dollar idea and ran with it. I want to do what he does. I want to have what he has. I set out to do that and attain it--that's admiration for Jack, not jealousy of Jack.
Now if I wanted Jack Canfield to fall flat on his face because I want to have what he has and I don't want him to have it to, that's jealousy.
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Now if I wanted Jack Canfield to fall flat on his face because I want to have what he has and I don't want him to have it to, that's jealousy.
October 22, 2009 08:57 PM
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Sometimes if you aren't feeling some jealousy then its simply because you don't care. I really have no jealous feelings about some team wining a hockey gat ame because I just don't care about hockey.
On the other hand if a colleague at work got a large bonus and won some awards I may feel jealous. Especially if I wanted that award.
The Important thing is what you do with the feeling of jealousy. In the case above using it to motivate me to do a better job so that I can win the award next time would be a fine use of it. Being mean to my colleague and sabotaging his computer to get even would be terrible. Ok its not a great example but you can see the point I'm trying to make.
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On the other hand if a colleague at work got a large bonus and won some awards I may feel jealous. Especially if I wanted that award.
The Important thing is what you do with the feeling of jealousy. In the case above using it to motivate me to do a better job so that I can win the award next time would be a fine use of it. Being mean to my colleague and sabotaging his computer to get even would be terrible. Ok its not a great example but you can see the point I'm trying to make.
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October 22, 2009 09:54 PM
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Jealousy can help a slothy lover get his act together and start spiffying up.
Jealousy can make an unmotivated worker put her nose to the grindstone to get a better job.
Jealousy can cause a naughty neighbor to mow his lawn and clean up things.
Jealousy can give a young girl an excuse to better herself and improve her grades.
It depends on if it's used as a motivator, not an excuse to just stop trying. If a person uses jealousy to say, "Boy, I'd like that for my life. How do I go about getting it?" then yeah, jealousy is helpful.
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Jealousy can make an unmotivated worker put her nose to the grindstone to get a better job.
Jealousy can cause a naughty neighbor to mow his lawn and clean up things.
Jealousy can give a young girl an excuse to better herself and improve her grades.
It depends on if it's used as a motivator, not an excuse to just stop trying. If a person uses jealousy to say, "Boy, I'd like that for my life. How do I go about getting it?" then yeah, jealousy is helpful.
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October 22, 2009 10:09 PM
Humm, I'm not certain you understand what jealousy really is.
Saying that you'd like that for your life and then going out and getting it is admiration, not jealousy.
Jealousy means you covet something and want it, but generally also means you don't want others to have it either.
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Saying that you'd like that for your life and then going out and getting it is admiration, not jealousy.
Jealousy means you covet something and want it, but generally also means you don't want others to have it either.
October 23, 2009 02:24 AM
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That really depends on the level of jealousy. Sometimes, too much jealousy can destroy a relationship especially if it's out of place.
Everybody is entitled to feel jealous but not all of them has the right to express it. You should know your place first and where you stand. However, if you are in a relationship, of course you are free to express it because it can sometimes also be a way to express how much you appreciate your partner. It's a way of being possessive but as long as you have it in control, it'll be fine. I guess that's the only positive thing I can see with jealousy.
Sometimes fear can be the cause of jealousy. Nobody can blame you if you fear of losing your partner. And your partner should understand that. Like I said, just keep it to a minimum and as much as possible, don't get jealous over small things. It can get annoying. Try to put your place in your partner's shoes and you will know what I mean.
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Everybody is entitled to feel jealous but not all of them has the right to express it. You should know your place first and where you stand. However, if you are in a relationship, of course you are free to express it because it can sometimes also be a way to express how much you appreciate your partner. It's a way of being possessive but as long as you have it in control, it'll be fine. I guess that's the only positive thing I can see with jealousy.
Sometimes fear can be the cause of jealousy. Nobody can blame you if you fear of losing your partner. And your partner should understand that. Like I said, just keep it to a minimum and as much as possible, don't get jealous over small things. It can get annoying. Try to put your place in your partner's shoes and you will know what I mean.
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October 23, 2009 05:09 AM
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Well... there was this girl named Debbie, whom I had a strong attraction for, but I was intent on being idealistic and rational and all that stuff, but she seemed frustrated and distant about something.
Then one night, at a party, I some guy schmoozing her up, and I was just loaded enough to step in and start being a pill, and, lo and behold... Debbie suddenly took a very warm shine to me, and we were happy for the next two years, so... it seemed to be a good thing in *that* case, however...
Most of the time, it's just made for trouble and heartache and social embarrassment.
It's classified as one of the seven deadly sins because it's never been seen to lead to anything good in the long run.
Even that one situation where an expression of jealousy was what Debbie wanted to see, it was pure dumb luck that what I did hadn't caused a fight, and the next day everyone still felt obliged to explain my behavior as a consequence of me being too drunk...
In other words... even when it didn't hurt anything, it *still* required excusing!
Hmm... okay... maybe there was *one* little thing about feeling jealous that can be classified as not negative...
I actually didn't really know how I really felt about Debbie until I felt the jealousy. My mind thought it quite interesting to watch the heart react that way, but if I'd been paying more attention to my feeling, then jealousy would not have been necessary, so...
... Altogether, I still have to say that the negatives of jealousy outweigh the positives.
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Then one night, at a party, I some guy schmoozing her up, and I was just loaded enough to step in and start being a pill, and, lo and behold... Debbie suddenly took a very warm shine to me, and we were happy for the next two years, so... it seemed to be a good thing in *that* case, however...
Most of the time, it's just made for trouble and heartache and social embarrassment.
It's classified as one of the seven deadly sins because it's never been seen to lead to anything good in the long run.
Even that one situation where an expression of jealousy was what Debbie wanted to see, it was pure dumb luck that what I did hadn't caused a fight, and the next day everyone still felt obliged to explain my behavior as a consequence of me being too drunk...
In other words... even when it didn't hurt anything, it *still* required excusing!
Hmm... okay... maybe there was *one* little thing about feeling jealous that can be classified as not negative...
I actually didn't really know how I really felt about Debbie until I felt the jealousy. My mind thought it quite interesting to watch the heart react that way, but if I'd been paying more attention to my feeling, then jealousy would not have been necessary, so...
... Altogether, I still have to say that the negatives of jealousy outweigh the positives.
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October 23, 2009 05:24 PM
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In high school, I was jealous of a guy. He was attractive well liked and very popular with women, however he had a rude streak and could be a real jerk.
I wanted to be well liked, but not be like him.
I researched relationships, became more outgoing, and took better care of my appearance all because I couldn't stand that this jerk was better liked then me.
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I wanted to be well liked, but not be like him.
I researched relationships, became more outgoing, and took better care of my appearance all because I couldn't stand that this jerk was better liked then me.
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