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Regarding the talent of a friend, when should praise for the sake of encouragement be abandoned for the more critical commentary of reality?
I have a friend, she decided to pursue a lifelong dream of singing 2 months ago. She has an engagement during the weekends to sing at a local restaurant lounge. I encouraged her from the beginning, but honestly now, I see no improvement in her talent or skill, how can I tell her this
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October 08, 2009 11:10 PM
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Ask her what her honest expectations are for herself and her passion. Chances are she is aware that her singing is not world class. If she seriously wants to be a great singer, tell her you support her dreams. Encourage her to take some lessons or help her seek out and go to a few auditions. If she gets the auditions, great and, if not, then your job is to comfort her and help her reevaluate her dreams.
All you can ever be is supportive. If she directly asks you for your honest opinion then you should tell her that while you enjoy her singing and appreciate her dedication to her passion, you don't think she's improved lately. Point out that many singers do not do well and you admire her courage to go into such a difficult field. She will appreciate your gentle honesty and you don't need to worry about sounding harsh.
All you can ever be is supportive. If she directly asks you for your honest opinion then you should tell her that while you enjoy her singing and appreciate her dedication to her passion, you don't think she's improved lately. Point out that many singers do not do well and you admire her courage to go into such a difficult field. She will appreciate your gentle honesty and you don't need to worry about sounding harsh.
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October 09, 2009 02:01 AM
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Polite honestly should be applied when the ambition is harming her. To explain, the night gig is not hurting her emotionally or affecting her life in a negative way. There is no harm in supporting her dreams in that case. However say she thinks she's far better than she is, plans to quit her job move to Hollywood and be a singer. In this case that WOULD cause her life great harm and when she failed it would also do far more emotional damage than a friend telling her she's not that great and recommending singing lessons perhaps. You can make a dream realistic without crushing it.
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October 09, 2009 10:31 PM
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Two months is a very short time for the development of a career. Performing in a lounge isn't going to do anything toward a real career except in helping her gain confidence in herself. If she's satisfied with lounge singing, then there's nothing you need to contribute except appreciation and encouragement. But if she wants to go further, she' has to do more than just sing. She needs to find a good voice coach who can analyze her weaknesses and strengths. If she has weaknesses that will keep her from a more ambitious career, then she will have to take lessons, accept a coach's crtiques, and really work to improve her voice and her presentation.
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