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Should I really bow to my mom's request and wear a dress to Thanksgiving dinner?
My parents are hosting Thanksgiving dinner as usual and each year my mom berates me about not wearing a dress. But I'm not a dress woman. Should I give in to make her happy as hostess? Or should I stand by my comfort and fashion choices?
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October 16, 2009 04:34 AM
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Do you really want to let such a small thing be all the family remembers each year? There's no crime in doing something that pleases the one(s) you love. Besides, after your mother passes away how will you feel about such a trivial matter? Life is short, make your mother smile today. You never know what tomorrow will bring.
Your defining yourself as not being a dress woman is a choice, not a religious mandate. Relax, enjoy the pleasure it brings your mom. You're still you whether or not you wear the pants in the family.
Besides, you can cheat and wear shorts under the dress - no one will know!
And you look so nice in a dress! I know I do...
http://z.about.com/d/painting/1/0/p/y/1/NatGal-RenFace-W010.jpg
Your defining yourself as not being a dress woman is a choice, not a religious mandate. Relax, enjoy the pleasure it brings your mom. You're still you whether or not you wear the pants in the family.
Besides, you can cheat and wear shorts under the dress - no one will know!
And you look so nice in a dress! I know I do...
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October 16, 2009 02:23 AM
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You don't have to wear a dress if you want to. If it were me, I'd meet her halfway by wearing more formal clothes -- perhaps dress pants, or a skirt even. But what you wear is completely up to you. Your mother is the one who's out of line by trying to enforce this, even during the holidays. Especially during the holidays -- those are often stressful times.
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October 16, 2009 03:07 AM
I agree she is out of line requesting a specific garment. Expressing a desire for a casual, semi-formal or formal wear is OK, but saying thou shalt wear a dress is discourteous. If I was female and was tired of being harassed to wear something I didn't feel comfortable with, I'd almost certainly find the most shockingly horrifying specimen of a dress known to man and wear it. Perhaps a scandalous outfit with slits, low cuts and short skirt in an obnoxious fluorescent plaid pattern. If I lacked the courage and/or body to pull that off, perhaps I'd show up in this:
http://www.thefashionpolice.net/images/2008/04/15/ugly_clothes.jpg
I bet that would be the last time you had to endure requests for dresses.
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I bet that would be the last time you had to endure requests for dresses.
October 16, 2009 04:08 AM
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I would give in an show up in your dress to really please and surprise her. It is only one day and it seems to me it would give her great pleasure. Just think about all she has given up over the years for you and it makes this an easy choice I would think.
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October 16, 2009 12:50 PM
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No way would I wear a dress! But then my family knows that. I agree I would dress up and wear a nice pair of slacks and a blouse. I would never be so bold as to tell people what to wear to dinner. If I told my daughters to wear a dress to dinner there is no telling what they would show up in just to spite me.
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October 16, 2009 03:47 PM
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I find the best way to deal with these matters is to pick my battles. Only you know how important this issue is to you, so I suggest asking yourself just how much this will matter in five or ten years from now. I used this method when my children were growing up & I use it with my mother (who's much like your mother sounds)today. Will it matter in five years that my sons room isn't spotless? no. Will it matter in 10 years if my daughter fails out of school? yes! Personally, I'd wear a dress on Thanksgiving, but my answer would have been much, much different when I was in my 20's. Good luck & go with your heart!
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October 16, 2009 07:18 PM
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Ask yourself three questions:
1. What is the worst thing that would happen if I wear a dress?
2. What is the best thing that could happen if I wear a dress?
3. Will my wearing a dress cause me harm or good?
That's all you have to do. Answer those questions honestly, and you have your answer.
Personally, if it's your mother's house and she's making the dinner, I think she has the right to ask you to do anything she wishes, including to stay away if you won't comply with her wishes. It's really about respect.
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1. What is the worst thing that would happen if I wear a dress?
2. What is the best thing that could happen if I wear a dress?
3. Will my wearing a dress cause me harm or good?
That's all you have to do. Answer those questions honestly, and you have your answer.
Personally, if it's your mother's house and she's making the dinner, I think she has the right to ask you to do anything she wishes, including to stay away if you won't comply with her wishes. It's really about respect.
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October 16, 2009 09:18 PM
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If this is going on year after year... there's one way to stop it.
This year, dress to impress. Pull out all the stops and put on that dress you've been saving for when you win that Oscar. Not only will you make your mom happy, but next year you can say that you're not going to wear a dress again as everyone was so under-dressed last year.
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This year, dress to impress. Pull out all the stops and put on that dress you've been saving for when you win that Oscar. Not only will you make your mom happy, but next year you can say that you're not going to wear a dress again as everyone was so under-dressed last year.
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October 17, 2009 09:14 AM
Love it. :)
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