Most people will tell you to stay neutral. And really, that make a lot of sense in that you want to keep both friendships healthy.

BUT...I'm going to tell you that sometimes you SHOULD pick sides.

I remember in high school (though this type of thing has happened as an adult), that I was in a huge fight with a friend who did TERRIBLE things to me. Really rotten stuff. Tried to get me fired from my job, said disgusting things about me. Etc. And--this I swear to you--it really was 100% unprovoked. It was like someone flipped a switch one day and she came at me like an enemy.

After all the harassment and torment she put me through, it killed me inside that some friends were "staying neutral".

Couldn't they see how hurting I was? I didn't even fire back, because I was trying to rise above it and let her look like the ass she was.

But none of my friends jump to my side and said, "WHOA, you need to back off. She's a good person and a good friend!"

I would've given anything for one friend to stick their neck out for me. So I'll tell you that if one of the fighting friends is clearly in the wrong, you take a side! You get on the side of the friend who's incurring a lot of bull and you be there for him/her. ;)

I usually like to play mediator as that's just my personality. I don't take sides I eliminate them.

If they can't make amends however I tend to go with whichever side I feel is in the right. If I feel a friend did something wrong to another friend I'm not going to iexcuse it simply because they're my friend. It's not as if I'd stop talking to them, but as Gno wishes in her answer I would probably stick up for the friend I thought was in the right when the topic came up.

If I felt the quarrel was silly and neither one was really in the wrong, I'd tell them so and be sure to be blunt about how ridiculously childish they are being. After that I'd ignore the whole thing.

When two friends are involved in a fight, I reserve my opinion until I have heard from both sides. I do so with each one individually of course. Following that, sometimes on can form a judgment as to who is in the right and who is in the wrong. Other times, you can't even do that.

Following this phase, I again try to talk to them individually to see if there is any softening of either of their positions and try to formulate a path towards reconciliation.

If that fails, then, and only then, would I attempt an active mediation with both parties present.

This technique I honed by being the third child, having 2 sisters and 3 brothers. This opened my eyes as how it is important to know when to listen, when to guide, when to be passively involved, and when to take on an active role in mediation.

The wise would prefer to keep out, but when it comes to ethics and humanity, you should take the right side, i.e. the side of the justice and try to stop the fight. However, it is easy to say that and very hard to do. I have tried this thing and have very bad experiences. You may loose your friends if you do not support them if they are not justified and you may also end up making a lot many enemies. The path of truth is full of thorns and the choice is always yours.

I won't usually pick a side, but hey; there are days when one of them are just being inconsiderate. I won't argue, just make my point and move on. I don't see the reason to join on in and make a havoc. I'd join in a discussion, but an argument or fight? I'd rather take a rain check.

If both sides make sense, which is more often the case than you'd think, I usually take the side of the friend that is losing the argument, and support it until his side is winning, then take the other friend's argument, to keep them even.

If one side makes sense while the other one doesn't, though, I always suppot the side that makes sense, since it's worse to be silent and have friends than be disliked for what is right.

I make every effort to stay out of it. I have noticed that when you allow yourself to pick sides you will find yourself being brought into the fight and not in a good way. Once you have entered the fra, by picking sides, you will have no room to say hey guys leave me out of it.