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You're at a funeral, you feel sadness and loss, but shed no tears, everyone else is crying, do you fake it?
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December 08, 2009 03:29 PM
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No! There is no need to do so. I believe that we attend a funeral not so show people that we loved/respected that demised person, but because we really loved/respected him/her. And who cares what people think about you if you are true and honest to yourself, because at the end of the day, you are answerable to yourself alone and to nobody else. So, when you face yourself then, you should be able to look straight into your own eyes and say that you did not show a fake thing to a dead man.
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December 09, 2009 02:57 AM
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No. First of all, it physically isn't possible for me, either way. If I have to cry, it's going to happen whether I want it to or not; if I don't have to, nothing short of sticking my face in front of a heater and not blinking (for some reason) will make me do it. And there generally aren't heaters at funerals.
But grief is different for everyone. Pop psychology often talks about the different stages of grief, but it treats them as if they're set in stone. They're not. People can skip stages, start in the middle, go in a different order, go through all of them at once, or even grieve in a way that isn't in that stage structure. It's an individual thing and it isn't anyone's business where you are in your grieving process.
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But grief is different for everyone. Pop psychology often talks about the different stages of grief, but it treats them as if they're set in stone. They're not. People can skip stages, start in the middle, go in a different order, go through all of them at once, or even grieve in a way that isn't in that stage structure. It's an individual thing and it isn't anyone's business where you are in your grieving process.
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December 09, 2009 12:49 PM
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there is no real need to cry. Everyone greives in their own manner. I would hope that there is not someone looking around to see who is crying and who isn't. I giggled at my mothers funeral and becasue my shoulders were shaking so people thought I was crying. I felt bad for giggling, but I was so nervous and upset that was how it came out. And the preacher kept mispronouncing her name.....
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