When I worked for someone else (self employed now), one of my favorite jobs was in victim advocacy, criminal justice advocacy for victims (or their surviving family members) of violent crimes, including drunk driving deaths, rape, child molestation... doesn't get much more depressing than that. The turnover in the field was high, as with most jobs of this nature.

We knew when a new advocate came on the job which ones would make it and which ones wouldn't. It's impossible to tell you in words exactly what makes it so easy to know, but you just 'know'. It's a mindset, a special way of dealing with things, and some people can do it long term and some can't. Some people can handle it for a time, then that one really bad case comes along, or a serious of a bunch of 'smaller' cases build up on the psyche.

The mindset is where it all is.

Here's the thing: everyone is going to die.

When people die, their families and loved ones have to deal with the issues that you help them deal with. It's hard, but if you keep the mindset about you that you have the ability to make this hard time for them easier by doing what you do well and professionally, it's sad for them, but you are making a tough situation better.

You didn't kill anyone. You didn't disable anyone.

It would have happened whether you worked in the line of work you do or not.

The only thing in your power is how you help these people now. Do it to the best of your ability, always knowing that you make that 'silent' difference, the 'unobservable' difference that when they remember back without the pain, they will remember you--maybe not your name, maybe not anything you said--but just that you somehow made a difference.

You can and do, you know.

And it's that difference you cling to when it gets tough to take.

Besides all that, you do the ordinary rest, relaxation, eat a good, balanced diet, take care of your health, vent and blow off steam, physical exercise, counseling if necessary, and all the other staples.

But mostly, just constantly remind yourself of the difference and the power you have to make a difference in someone's life at a time when they really need it.