If she's only able to spend a part of her time thinking and seeing the world clearly, why take that away from here with false stories? It's best to just tell her the truth.

Interesting question, and obviously a gray area ... but here's what I think: your grandmother's happiness is what is paramount now. Making her as comfortable as possible is probably the best answer. In the same way you would probably not tell a little child if they were in immediate danger, so as not to add to their suffering with terror, so you should probably feel okay about telling your grandmother what she needs to hear to keep her calm.

Secondarily, I would posit that Alzheimer's has rendered your grandmother incapable of discerning reality anyway. Her definition of what is real has become child-like and fantastical. Telling 'the truth' has no meaning in that world other than its value as information which calms or upsets.

I know it feels off to 'tell a lie', but my belief is that you must give false information *with intent to deceive* for it to be a lie. That is not your purpose; where it possible to permanently give your grandmother correct information, clearly you would. But that is no longer possible, so a different yardstick applies.

You should just answer as honestly as possible while keeping it brief.

Both my parents had Alzheimer's. My dad died last year at 89. We took her to the wake. She didn't recognize him so she was able sit and enjoy the family around her. At the end, we told her that it was her husband and she become quite upset and cried. After a few moments of tears, we redirected her thoughts and had her laughing. Afterwards, she'd asked where her husband is and we would tell her his is sleeping. She would be okay with that for the most part. One time we told her he died and she became upset again. We never told her again. After six months, she stopped asking.

My mom continually asks "Where do you live" I tell her and she repeats the question again. This could go on for the entire visit. Now I answer truthfully the first two time, the I start to kid around. I tell her I am from heaven and down here to earn my wings. I am from Mars, Venus etc etc. She would laugh at my crazy responses. I am blessed that my mom is happy go lucky. She likes to fool around so that is how our relationship has grown. She has no idea who I am but knows I am a familiar face.

My advice is to try humor to answer questions that may bring her sadness. You never know how she'll respond!!