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michelleld... michellel...

Friend of mine is in love w/ his brother's wife. They hang together a lot, and he feels he should tell his brother how he feels. Should he?

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antonerich
antonerich
September 24, 2009 03:33 AM
He should avoid her like his live is in danger. He should not tell his brother that he loves his wife. That could inspire valiance. Best to keep away find anther woman and develop feeling for her and forget about the wife. He could get away with saying he is found of her, but needs to find a girlfriend that don't look like his brother wife.
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ematlosz
ematlosz
September 24, 2009 04:02 AM
I totally back this answer. This isn't the movies. Tell him to forget it.
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silverhamm...
silverhamm...
September 24, 2009 04:40 AM
Perhaps he should consider the fact that for her to reciprocate his feelings she would have to be the type of woman that would cheat on her husband.

If either of them survived the tumultuous breakup and ended up together he would forever have to wonder if she would do the same thing to him if a better man (or woman) came along. Not to mention the censure his own family would feel for him. His brother would never forgive him. It's the lowest of the low a man can do to a friend, much less a brother.

As previously mentioned he should walk away and never look back. His fantasies of love are completely inappropriate. Just as inappropriate as a man lusting after an underage girl. There are some things that are off limits in this life. He should focus on a woman that is available and stop living vicariously through his brother...
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kty2777
kty2777
September 24, 2009 04:48 AM
No, he should not tell his brother.

He should really be re-evaluating how he regards family and friendship. OK, he likes his sister-in-law. Wow, if he can't control his emotions about her then he should leave them alone and stop being a silly infatuated child.

Does his brother have kids? Does his brother love his wife? Does this guy have any idea how selfish and irresponsible it would be to interfere in their relationship?

Maybe he should visit women who he can pay
Maybe he should go on a holiday somewhere and get it out of his system ( so to speak )

Leave it well alone I say :(
Source(s):
this guy worked out his situation - sounds similar to me :)

http://www.secretconfessionz.com/showthread_3034.html
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windowshop...
windowshop...
September 24, 2009 04:33 PM
Having feelings and acting upon them are two entirely different things. In my experience, we don't choose who we fall in love with, but we do choose how we decide to act upon our feelings. Love, real love, is considerate, kind, and unselfish - we choose to act in the best interests of those we truly love.

I believe that your friend could tell his brother how he feels while making it clear that he would never act upon those feelings because he also loves/admires/cares about his brother and sister-in-law and the family dynamic, in general. In a way, he would be validating his brother's choice to marry this woman.

If the brothers have a strong relationship, and if they have a history of being very honest with each other, I believe this might actually strengthen their relationship. By telling his brother how he feels and discussing this with his brother, he reduces the probability of acting upon his feelings inappropriately.
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