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How many pre-marriage habits should a person be allowed to retain after he/she ties the knot with his/her new partner?

How about the man how goes out with his buddies every weekend (out of tradition)? Or a woman who goes to the nail salon every other week or out to lunch with her girlfriends?
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Marked as Best! November 26, 2009 01:05 PM
I think it depends on the couple because when you are committed to someone it should be a give and take type relationship. Being committed to someone does not mean that you have change your habits but both should make an effort to prioritize each other.

The what you called "pre-marriage habits" can still be retained but I think that the frequency should be minimized. The couple should have a heart-to-heart talk regarding this so that one will not feel left out.

When I got married, my husband did not forbid me to see my friends and I don't forbid him to see his close friends too. But I have learned to minimize seeing them because I have a family to attend to and they understand my situation. So we usually see each other during special occasions or when something came up and they want to celebrate. That kind of arrangement works for us because my husband can see that I am making an effort to prioritize him over my friends and that's what he do too.

If we have planned an important activity together and some of his friends happen to call, he declines and I feel that I am his priority. If they have a schedule of hanging out together I allow him because I know that it will also help him to unwind.

Being sensitive to each others need rather than your own can really help a lot. And you won't feel that you are being imprisoned or won't feel any grudge that you are not given the freedom from things you used to do before the marriage.
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November 26, 2009 06:21 AM
All of them.

Why would you change when getting married?

In my experience the couples that last are the ones who didn't get married just to get married. They got married because they love one another for who the other is. Love should not come with requirements. By time you marry someone you should know their habits, quirks, likes and dislikes and care for them enough to look past them and accept them.

The exception here I am discovering now that we have children though. Then it's a matter of fairness. Being that as the "mom" I end up being the primary care giver and him the primary money maker he expects because he works he should always get to keep his regular out with guy things and I should forgo my girl stuff. In the case of kids and marriage some compromise should occur. Lifestyle changes are just required.
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