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If a friend wants to be a stripper, (or worse) because they need the money. Would you support them?
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October 07, 2009 01:34 AM
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If the friend meets the following criteria, I see no reason to discourage them from dancing:
* Strong willed and confident enough not to be traumatized by the job
* Thinks it would be fun or has some appeal in addition to just the money
* Isn't likely to use drugs and alcohol as a crutch to get through jobs
I met a smart and attractive ex-stripper when she was starting her first normal job. She had stripped for a few years because she loved to dance, was turned on by the male adoration and made ridiculous amounts of money. At that time she liked to party and flirt. Once she got it out of her system she decided to settle down and be "responsible", but still remembered her wilder days with fondness. She hadn't destroyed her life and didn't seem traumatized by it. I would imagine others out there have done this with similarly benign results.
If the friend is fearful, repulsed or disgusted by this and just plans to endure it to make money, I'd encourage them to find another way, be it bankruptcy or whatever. If they aren't fully prepared for such a lifestyle, that line of work could lead them to a downward spiral, especially if they start using alcohol/drugs to get through the job.
Regarding "or worse":
As a Libertarian I think we should legalize and tax nearly everything for consenting adults so I'm not against prostitution on a moral basis. Nevertheless, if they are in an area where this is not a legal profession, prostitutes can't take advantage of the same legal protections as a normal workers. Fraud, theft, battery and rape is often not reported by illegal prostitutes since they don't want the police to know about their activities. If the friend is considering this line of work out of desperation, I would do everything I could to help them find less dangerous options.
Your question was "Would you support them?"
Note that even if you disagree with a friend's decision, you can still support them without supporting their profession. For example, you don't have to go to an event and watch them strip if it bothers you, but if you are truly a friend you can still have a meal or conversation with them and not treat them like a leper.
* Strong willed and confident enough not to be traumatized by the job
* Thinks it would be fun or has some appeal in addition to just the money
* Isn't likely to use drugs and alcohol as a crutch to get through jobs
I met a smart and attractive ex-stripper when she was starting her first normal job. She had stripped for a few years because she loved to dance, was turned on by the male adoration and made ridiculous amounts of money. At that time she liked to party and flirt. Once she got it out of her system she decided to settle down and be "responsible", but still remembered her wilder days with fondness. She hadn't destroyed her life and didn't seem traumatized by it. I would imagine others out there have done this with similarly benign results.
If the friend is fearful, repulsed or disgusted by this and just plans to endure it to make money, I'd encourage them to find another way, be it bankruptcy or whatever. If they aren't fully prepared for such a lifestyle, that line of work could lead them to a downward spiral, especially if they start using alcohol/drugs to get through the job.
Regarding "or worse":
As a Libertarian I think we should legalize and tax nearly everything for consenting adults so I'm not against prostitution on a moral basis. Nevertheless, if they are in an area where this is not a legal profession, prostitutes can't take advantage of the same legal protections as a normal workers. Fraud, theft, battery and rape is often not reported by illegal prostitutes since they don't want the police to know about their activities. If the friend is considering this line of work out of desperation, I would do everything I could to help them find less dangerous options.
Your question was "Would you support them?"
Note that even if you disagree with a friend's decision, you can still support them without supporting their profession. For example, you don't have to go to an event and watch them strip if it bothers you, but if you are truly a friend you can still have a meal or conversation with them and not treat them like a leper.
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• Excellent answer. I would support my friend's decision anyway, I just wanted more reason to do it. I see that drugs are definitely the only bad thing that can arise from being a stripper. Thanks everyone. Oh and I don't see stripping as a disgusting profession, it's just that it changes when it hits close to home.
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October 07, 2009 12:19 AM
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Yes. I would.
I don't presume to be smarter or made from higher moral cloth than any of my friends. I may ask if they've carefully thought about the environment that they're entering.
From what little I understand, at the right club with the right management, employees are very well taken care of. There is a significant difference between prostitution and dancing in a strip club. Heck, in many places throughout the U.S. (again presumably) clubs are either full nude without liquor or topless only.
Once you get past people being naked, there really isn't much to a strip club beyond innuendo and dancing. Women use deeply rooted sales and psychological techniques to pull bills out of the pockets of the men and women they're entertaining.
As long as my friend was making a completely clear, informed decision and I was sure that she would be safe and working in a good environment, then I would support her. I'm not hung up on folks being naked and to be perfectly honest, don't find strip clubs particularly entertaining.
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I don't presume to be smarter or made from higher moral cloth than any of my friends. I may ask if they've carefully thought about the environment that they're entering.
From what little I understand, at the right club with the right management, employees are very well taken care of. There is a significant difference between prostitution and dancing in a strip club. Heck, in many places throughout the U.S. (again presumably) clubs are either full nude without liquor or topless only.
Once you get past people being naked, there really isn't much to a strip club beyond innuendo and dancing. Women use deeply rooted sales and psychological techniques to pull bills out of the pockets of the men and women they're entertaining.
As long as my friend was making a completely clear, informed decision and I was sure that she would be safe and working in a good environment, then I would support her. I'm not hung up on folks being naked and to be perfectly honest, don't find strip clubs particularly entertaining.
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October 07, 2009 04:41 PM
Nice Answer Rob ...
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2633/3917686970_7e4341ef33.jpg
Give yourself a vote to win !
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Give yourself a vote to win !
October 07, 2009 12:20 AM
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I would not stop my friend from doing what he/she feels like they must do. It is not like they will be walking the streets picking up undercover vice cops. I would suggest to them other options but usually by the time they have told you they are going to do it, their mind has already been made.
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October 07, 2009 06:50 AM
The question is definitely worded in a way that leaves no doubt the asker thinks very little of stripping as a profession.
Would "or worse" include being a Lawyer?
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Would "or worse" include being a Lawyer?
October 07, 2009 12:53 AM
http://www.stripper-faq.org/dance.htm Helpful Answer? (1)
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Why not. I assume your friend finds the job enjoyable and fun, and it can pay well. It is for the sleek, sexy and strong. Not a bad combination of attributes to have, in my opinion. You might express some concern about your friend's safety. Good clubs will provide a safe and comfortable environment. Check out the source link for more advice on how to choose a suitable club for your friend to work at. There are even competitions in this field:
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http://www.stripper-faq.org/dance.htm Helpful Answer?
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October 07, 2009 02:23 AM
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Let's assume there are a few truths about your friend:
1. This person is "of age", that is to say at least 18 years old
2. This person does not have alcohol or drug problems
3. This person does not have a history of sexual abuse or a major life trauma
4. This person isn't "in danger" of falling off the edge of life and losing control of who they really are
If this is a stable, happy person in control of her life, then I think it's very admirable for her to go into a job as an exotic dancer! I know it sounds a little crazy, but I once had a coworker who was secretly "dancing" as a night job. When she told me my knee-jerk reaction was to be disgusted, but then she described the work: No one ever touched her, she wore a bikini (never fully nude), and she made a boatload of money!
It's not the career path I'd recommend, but in hard times it can be a very respectable job.
The only thing I would discourage is selling her body for sex or physical contact. If she can keep a respectable distance from clients, then I think it's a fine idea. Be her friend and be there for her. Keep an open mind and a watchful eye.
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1. This person is "of age", that is to say at least 18 years old
2. This person does not have alcohol or drug problems
3. This person does not have a history of sexual abuse or a major life trauma
4. This person isn't "in danger" of falling off the edge of life and losing control of who they really are
If this is a stable, happy person in control of her life, then I think it's very admirable for her to go into a job as an exotic dancer! I know it sounds a little crazy, but I once had a coworker who was secretly "dancing" as a night job. When she told me my knee-jerk reaction was to be disgusted, but then she described the work: No one ever touched her, she wore a bikini (never fully nude), and she made a boatload of money!
It's not the career path I'd recommend, but in hard times it can be a very respectable job.
The only thing I would discourage is selling her body for sex or physical contact. If she can keep a respectable distance from clients, then I think it's a fine idea. Be her friend and be there for her. Keep an open mind and a watchful eye.
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October 07, 2009 03:41 AM
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Yes, I would. I think that that is their body and their life. I mean they should be old enough to know that there are other jobs out there that they can take on. But if there really is no other option that they can choose from then yes, i'd support them all the way. I mean most of us wouldn't support a decision such as this because most of us wouldn't dare to put ourselves into that position. I look at it as a job. Now if it were prostitution that the person was thinking of, then i'd try to talk to them and say that there are other options, and that there are others out there that have it worse. A person shouldn't have to go that far for money. I understand that at a time like this, getting a job is very important and that getting one is harder to do now days. But, yes. Please support them on their decision to be a stripper.
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October 07, 2009 05:59 AM
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Pole dancing is an incredibly good workout and many women are starting to take it up for the pure physical benefits it offers. I wouldn't hesitate to support a friend who decided to go into the business of dancing for money. But I would, as any good friend should, caution her to find a decent place to dance that has strict rules and requirements for their patrons regarding distance from performers, protection (in the way of bouncers for out of control patrons and after-dark security) and a strict dress code for performers (meaning no nudity). If my friend were comfortable with the idea and excited about doing it, I'd be more than happy to support her and encourage her.
On the subject of "worse": that can only imply that you are worried that she is going to get into the dangerous business of selling herself for sex. At that point, you strongly urge her that NOTHING and NO amount of debt is worth risking her life or her health. If you think that continuing a friendship with her (should she get into that type of lifestyle) could put you or your loved ones in any danger whatsoever AND you've expressed your concerns to her but she still insists on continuing down that path, then do not support her and limit or completely cut off any relationship with her.
I've had to cut off a friend of mine because of her lifestyle. It's not easy, it's not fun, but it was necessary for my well-being. As it turned out, it was necessary for her well-being too, because she was pregnant and needed to take care of her son. She also knew that in order to get me to come back into her life she would have to make some serious changes and prove those changes, which she has. I'm grateful that I was as harsh with her as I was because her life could have been radically different if I hadn't put my foot down.
Be supportive so long as she is not endangering her life or the lives of the people around her.
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On the subject of "worse": that can only imply that you are worried that she is going to get into the dangerous business of selling herself for sex. At that point, you strongly urge her that NOTHING and NO amount of debt is worth risking her life or her health. If you think that continuing a friendship with her (should she get into that type of lifestyle) could put you or your loved ones in any danger whatsoever AND you've expressed your concerns to her but she still insists on continuing down that path, then do not support her and limit or completely cut off any relationship with her.
I've had to cut off a friend of mine because of her lifestyle. It's not easy, it's not fun, but it was necessary for my well-being. As it turned out, it was necessary for her well-being too, because she was pregnant and needed to take care of her son. She also knew that in order to get me to come back into her life she would have to make some serious changes and prove those changes, which she has. I'm grateful that I was as harsh with her as I was because her life could have been radically different if I hadn't put my foot down.
Be supportive so long as she is not endangering her life or the lives of the people around her.
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October 07, 2009 02:14 PM
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I believe that no person has to be a stripper to get though the financial problems. I will encourage my friend to find some other methods to get the money. I mean, not going to this extreme. Even though one will be able to get money by being a stripper, the stripper job usually will bring in more trouble, like alcohol, drugs, depression etc.
So thinking of long term, I will not support my friend being a stripper.
May be we can make some handmade items and sell them or deliver hot lunches to offices, or start an after school child care...There will definitely be options other than stripping your clothes.
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So thinking of long term, I will not support my friend being a stripper.
May be we can make some handmade items and sell them or deliver hot lunches to offices, or start an after school child care...There will definitely be options other than stripping your clothes.
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October 07, 2009 03:06 PM
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Yes, absolutely! Being a stripper is a job just like any other job. It has it's benefits and disadvantages. One of the main advantages is that it is a very lucrative career. If you want to be a true friend, just make sure he or she knows the reality of the situation; for example, that her body will not hold up forever and to put away at least half of what she earns while dancing.
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October 07, 2009 10:53 PM
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Hmm... one of my friends went through that.
Her daughter decided to become an exotic dancer, and the mother wasn't too pleased with it, not because she had a problem with the exotic dancing per se, because she was flattered to think that her daughter was considered to be attractive enough for such a job, but because of the characters associated with the trade... specifically, cocain snorting club managers and DJ's, and drunk letches learing and drooling from the gynechologists chairs.
In this case, the city had a good union for the exotic dancers, so it gave them some protections and some guarantees on pay. Also, the city had special bylaws giving city cops extraordinary powers for dealing with pimps, so pimping was not as much of a problem as it has been in other cities, so she didn't have to worry so much about her daughter starting as a dancer and moving on to heavier stuff, so, she let it go, and just asked her daughter to call her once a week and keep her posted on how things were going.
She asked me to check out some of the places that her daughter would be performing, because she didn't feel comfortable checking the places out herself, so I did.... and they weren't too terribly bad.
Her daughter made around $50,000 per year right out of high school, and in 8 years she was buying a good home in a really good neighborhood, whereupon she hung up her thong, 'cause she had enough for a very significant down payment, and she'd studied real estate in her spare time, and she'd met a guy who travels around selling lighting and sound equipment to night clubs and she liked the bit of independance it gave her when he was on the road because the house was basically hers and it was easier to remodel when he wasn't around... and I was invited to the housewarming party, and I'm still invited to things like her birthday (I'd know the daughter since she was in middle-school).
Find out what the work standards are for the exotic dancing trade for the jurisdiction you're in, and take your conclusions from there.
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Her daughter decided to become an exotic dancer, and the mother wasn't too pleased with it, not because she had a problem with the exotic dancing per se, because she was flattered to think that her daughter was considered to be attractive enough for such a job, but because of the characters associated with the trade... specifically, cocain snorting club managers and DJ's, and drunk letches learing and drooling from the gynechologists chairs.
In this case, the city had a good union for the exotic dancers, so it gave them some protections and some guarantees on pay. Also, the city had special bylaws giving city cops extraordinary powers for dealing with pimps, so pimping was not as much of a problem as it has been in other cities, so she didn't have to worry so much about her daughter starting as a dancer and moving on to heavier stuff, so, she let it go, and just asked her daughter to call her once a week and keep her posted on how things were going.
She asked me to check out some of the places that her daughter would be performing, because she didn't feel comfortable checking the places out herself, so I did.... and they weren't too terribly bad.
Her daughter made around $50,000 per year right out of high school, and in 8 years she was buying a good home in a really good neighborhood, whereupon she hung up her thong, 'cause she had enough for a very significant down payment, and she'd studied real estate in her spare time, and she'd met a guy who travels around selling lighting and sound equipment to night clubs and she liked the bit of independance it gave her when he was on the road because the house was basically hers and it was easier to remodel when he wasn't around... and I was invited to the housewarming party, and I'm still invited to things like her birthday (I'd know the daughter since she was in middle-school).
Find out what the work standards are for the exotic dancing trade for the jurisdiction you're in, and take your conclusions from there.
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