Conundrum Next Conundrum
I'm a widow with 2 grown sons. Should I marry my boyfriend and leave my roots here or marry this man who says he loves me?
He was never married and 56. I'm 58, and not sure if I want to be married again, but afraid to face the future possibly old and alone and have regrets.
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3 answerers thought this was unfair.
Answers (3)
October 31, 2009 08:30 AM
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Do YOU consider the area you live now to be your home? Would YOU be upset at moving?
Your sons will understand a move because they are young and expect to move around themselves. I think it depends on if you have a 'family' home, one you wouldn't want to loose...if you can leave the area and your home, then leave to find happiness :) You deserve it.
Are you scared of making new friends? If not, then move and enjoy a new start and make new friends
Are you worried about your sons? Oh, don't be :) You made them independent so let them be ....be happy if they want to live their own lives. And they will be happy with an independent and happy Mum
No regrets, no looking back.
Enjoy your new love and happiness
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Your sons will understand a move because they are young and expect to move around themselves. I think it depends on if you have a 'family' home, one you wouldn't want to loose...if you can leave the area and your home, then leave to find happiness :) You deserve it.
Are you scared of making new friends? If not, then move and enjoy a new start and make new friends
Are you worried about your sons? Oh, don't be :) You made them independent so let them be ....be happy if they want to live their own lives. And they will be happy with an independent and happy Mum
No regrets, no looking back.
Enjoy your new love and happiness
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October 31, 2009 12:09 PM
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2329072/ill_ride_the_roller_coaste... Helpful Answer?
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I believe that if you aren't sure that you want to get married, then you shouldn't get married. There are worse things than being alone, and one is being with a man who doesn't truly appreciate you. You can't let fear for the future coerce you into something that may not be right. You may have regrets, but we all do at one time or another.
So now let me do a 180 here from a Christian perspective: There are many passages that say a man must love his wife, but wives are only commanded to respect their husbands. Does this man treat you right, consider your opinions (even though he may not follow them), Love does grow over time when your husband is worthy of your respect.
And moving away from home where all your friends and family are is a big risk, But there are people everywhere who need friends, and you can find new ones by joining hobby clubs, book clubs, or something of that nature, where you will find people who share your interests.
I'm adding a link to a piece I recently published, IMaybe it can help.
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So now let me do a 180 here from a Christian perspective: There are many passages that say a man must love his wife, but wives are only commanded to respect their husbands. Does this man treat you right, consider your opinions (even though he may not follow them), Love does grow over time when your husband is worthy of your respect.
And moving away from home where all your friends and family are is a big risk, But there are people everywhere who need friends, and you can find new ones by joining hobby clubs, book clubs, or something of that nature, where you will find people who share your interests.
I'm adding a link to a piece I recently published, IMaybe it can help.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2329072/ill_ride_the_roller_coaste... Helpful Answer?
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November 02, 2009 07:19 AM
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Hi,
Some time you life does not belong just to you. Your sons should have more priority in your life than marriage. You said that they are grown ups, but it doesn't mean that that will understand you. It might happen that they may go away from you & I am sure you cannot afford that. Now what you can do is, If its possible ask your sons, and look what they reply. I think their reply is most important than ours. If they feel ok then go ahead, or else tell your boyfriend that you cannot marry him, at least not now.
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Some time you life does not belong just to you. Your sons should have more priority in your life than marriage. You said that they are grown ups, but it doesn't mean that that will understand you. It might happen that they may go away from you & I am sure you cannot afford that. Now what you can do is, If its possible ask your sons, and look what they reply. I think their reply is most important than ours. If they feel ok then go ahead, or else tell your boyfriend that you cannot marry him, at least not now.
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