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Is it ok to marry a girl less than 1/6 your age?
There was an interesting conjunction of articles on the BBC news site today. On the one hand, a serious 5 year study found that marriages were likely to be more successful if the man was 5 years or more older than the woman. In another story, a man 112 years old married a 17 year old girl in Somalia.
So, does the study back up his choice, or did he overdo it? Will it be a happy marriage?
Please back up your opinions with news facts and studies.
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So, does the study back up his choice, or did he overdo it? Will it be a happy marriage?
Please back up your opinions with news facts and studies.
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November 02, 2009 05:34 AM
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No matter what, it will be a short marriage!
Here's hoping they both get what they wanted out of it!
Here's hoping they both get what they wanted out of it!
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• No one had anything to say on the subject backed up by any evidence; so I think your well wishes is the best of the answers.
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October 30, 2009 02:06 PM
They probably also won't be able to "seal the deal", so really she's just forced to pretend for another couple years...maybe. Hopefully it will land her some financial security.
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October 30, 2009 01:45 PM
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Hmm... quite shocking?
I may not have the rights to judge their relationship but we all know where it all could lead right? Come on! Let's be realistic here. Why would you marry someone waaaay older than you? It's somehow marrying your own grandparents. T.T And what for? Love? I don't think so...
I know that age doesn't matter when it comes to love. But you know... some rules has exceptions. ^^
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I may not have the rights to judge their relationship but we all know where it all could lead right? Come on! Let's be realistic here. Why would you marry someone waaaay older than you? It's somehow marrying your own grandparents. T.T And what for? Love? I don't think so...
I know that age doesn't matter when it comes to love. But you know... some rules has exceptions. ^^
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October 30, 2009 02:21 PM
The girl is young enough to be his great-grand-daughter. Is it ok if she were only young enough to be his grand-daughter? Or, how about young enough to be his daughter? But why would that matter, exactly? She is not, in fact, related at all.
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October 30, 2009 04:04 PM
The fact that she's, like you said, enough to be great-grand-daughter is really something... difficult to understand. If what you said to the other comment that he only wants to have more children that's why he married this girl, then that's it. The reason isn't love at all. We marry someone because we love the person and that we want to live with that person. Not because a guy would just like to have many kids. What does he think of women? His own baby machine? Women shouldn't be treated that way.
Sorry @albanian if I sound a bit annoyed but I just don't quite agree with the old man's way of thinking. Anyway, it's a good topic. Thanks for posting. :)
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Sorry @albanian if I sound a bit annoyed but I just don't quite agree with the old man's way of thinking. Anyway, it's a good topic. Thanks for posting. :)
October 30, 2009 11:42 PM
He claims to love her. Her family says she's happy. This is a culture where western style dating is not allowed and marriages are arranged. But how will they feel in five years, as if they were in the study? Assuming he lives that long.
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October 31, 2009 01:42 AM
As you say, they're marriage is arranged? So that makes it more questionable. Of course he would say he love her, he's the one lucky here because he has a younger wife. And of course the family would say that she's happy. Because they were the one who arranged the marriage.
In five years? I think it wouldn't even last that long before the girl feels the sadness or maybe regret. Even just now, I doubt if she's truly happy.
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In five years? I think it wouldn't even last that long before the girl feels the sadness or maybe regret. Even just now, I doubt if she's truly happy.
October 30, 2009 02:05 PM
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Different cultures have different customs. In tribal cultures in Africa, just as an example, where the life span is shorter, women marry at a younger age. Muslim marriages are often arranged before they are even born, which may have been the case here. These marriages have more to do with business than marriage itself sometimes. Of course a 17 year old would not be happy married to someone over 100, and he must have offered her family something of great value for the hand of their daughter.
Even in the U.S., marriage is somewhat tribal in some instances. Marriage in this country is very much class related, with the upper classes tending to "stick to their own" and keep the bloodlines pure. When this country was settled, it was custom for the unmarried brother of a deceased man to marry his wife and care for his children, whether he wanted to or not. Women were married as young as 13 and 14, simply because there was such a small pool to choose from, and bloodlines were to be maintained (as we were settled mostly at first by English aristocracy). In my genealogical searches, it was not uncommon for first cousins to marry, or for a very old man to marry a very young girl.
We have no right to judge other culture's mores and customs, just as they have no right to judge ours. Obviously, this, and thousands of marriages across the world every day, benefit both parties in some way. Can we always say that for marriages where we choose our own partners, and divorce rates are so high? Arranged marriages usually last far longer than our own "marriage by choice" joinings. There is something to be said for wisdom of the parents in picking a mate for their child.
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Even in the U.S., marriage is somewhat tribal in some instances. Marriage in this country is very much class related, with the upper classes tending to "stick to their own" and keep the bloodlines pure. When this country was settled, it was custom for the unmarried brother of a deceased man to marry his wife and care for his children, whether he wanted to or not. Women were married as young as 13 and 14, simply because there was such a small pool to choose from, and bloodlines were to be maintained (as we were settled mostly at first by English aristocracy). In my genealogical searches, it was not uncommon for first cousins to marry, or for a very old man to marry a very young girl.
We have no right to judge other culture's mores and customs, just as they have no right to judge ours. Obviously, this, and thousands of marriages across the world every day, benefit both parties in some way. Can we always say that for marriages where we choose our own partners, and divorce rates are so high? Arranged marriages usually last far longer than our own "marriage by choice" joinings. There is something to be said for wisdom of the parents in picking a mate for their child.
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October 30, 2009 02:13 PM
This answer is very rambling and off topic. The subject is relative ages. A study shows 5+ years is good. Is a really large difference bad, or not? What is the evidence?
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November 01, 2009 02:32 AM
Happiness is a state of mind and a choice. Not being able to imagine it working for you doesn't limit me or them in any way. Studies show opinions, not facts.
I found the cultural reference above helpful. In some areas you marry for stability, position, politics and inheritance (heirs). Not knowing the details of their situation doesn't make it wrong for either of them.
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I found the cultural reference above helpful. In some areas you marry for stability, position, politics and inheritance (heirs). Not knowing the details of their situation doesn't make it wrong for either of them.
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