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Is it reasonable for someone you're dating to ask you to delete Twitter and Facebook profiles?
I have met a few guys that have a serious issue with online chatting and messaging even though it is just social and never flirtatious. Or is it odd for someone to be worried about contact with "online" friends?
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October 07, 2009 09:28 AM
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It depends on the person. Some people are overcontrolling like that and they want to cut you off from all your friends, and have you only talk with theirs and hang with theirs... if you do not want to do this. Then you tell them No, and if you want to introduce some of your friends to him or her that they are worrying about this may help relieve the anxieties of.. maybe so and so is trying to him or her away from me...
Never, allow you significant other to control your social life if you do not want to this includes internet.. However.. Not always is the person asking necessarily a control freak.. They may not realise these social networks are just not just for finding dates.. as many are geared towards just that.. or they may have social anxieties... in general and get nervous about anyone who is not in their little inner circle of friends..
I have an ex who was like that.... Major social anxieties and for years I tried to work with them, and I just no longer could handle being in a relationship where I was treated like I can not be trusted.. But.. Others can handle that type of relationship.. and if they can more power to them...
I tend to be bad with dating relationships in general so I slipped myself back into the undatable catagory for now. :) .
You also have to ask.. Why is this person worrying? ...
And ask them what you could do other than not deleting your accounts what you can do to ease their worry.. encourage them to make an account and add you.. then when you or him are away you can socialize with eachother and introduce eachothers friends to eachother...
Also look if you are spending to much time on these networks,, and if he or she feels like there is not enough time being spent with them? .. that maybe the reason too..
Never, allow you significant other to control your social life if you do not want to this includes internet.. However.. Not always is the person asking necessarily a control freak.. They may not realise these social networks are just not just for finding dates.. as many are geared towards just that.. or they may have social anxieties... in general and get nervous about anyone who is not in their little inner circle of friends..
I have an ex who was like that.... Major social anxieties and for years I tried to work with them, and I just no longer could handle being in a relationship where I was treated like I can not be trusted.. But.. Others can handle that type of relationship.. and if they can more power to them...
I tend to be bad with dating relationships in general so I slipped myself back into the undatable catagory for now. :) .
You also have to ask.. Why is this person worrying? ...
And ask them what you could do other than not deleting your accounts what you can do to ease their worry.. encourage them to make an account and add you.. then when you or him are away you can socialize with eachother and introduce eachothers friends to eachother...
Also look if you are spending to much time on these networks,, and if he or she feels like there is not enough time being spent with them? .. that maybe the reason too..
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• I never considered the part about them possibly not understanding that all social networking isn't the same as match.com. This person is not very familiar with online activity and may not understand it.
However, I do agree with the control issue. There have been other indications that this person has insecurity issues and is paranoid of other guys.
Thanks for the suggestions!
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October 06, 2009 02:41 AM
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I don't think it's appropriate for them to ask you to stop using sites like twitter or facebook. Ask them why they feel so strongly about it and give them reasons why you enjoy using the sites {connecting with friends, networking, etc...} But if they still have a problem with it, I agree with antonerich, they are being controlling...
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October 06, 2009 02:42 AM
Previous life married to a jealous man. Helpful Answer?
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If someone asked me to do something like delete a Twitter or Facebook profile, I'd take it as a warning and curtail the relationship at that point. If they're worried about who you're interacting in online, they'll probably also worry about what you're saying and who you're saying it to in the "real" world as well. Such a request is like turning on a flashing red sign saying "I have issues."
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Previous life married to a jealous man. Helpful Answer?
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October 06, 2009 03:18 AM
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Interesting question! The answer is no. If someone were to agree to completely isolate themselves from all their friends and family through that Internet medium, then an element of control has been established, and will likely become more intense.
If the person in question cannot trust you to hold adult relationships over Facebook and similar sites, then maybe they need the controlling, not you. :)
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If the person in question cannot trust you to hold adult relationships over Facebook and similar sites, then maybe they need the controlling, not you. :)
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October 06, 2009 11:19 AM
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If anyone say it to me, I will think that may be our relation not continued.
I always get some good advise from my friends of facebook. Even I have some friends who are member of mahalo.com, so when I fall into any bug of mahalo,I try to find them in chat box.
Many times I falls into a situation when I can't think what should I do? Then I talk about it with my friends through facebook.
So if anyone(Include Girlfriend) tell me to delete my facebook account, at first I will talk about "Why?"
Friendship and love realtionship totally different matter. So why you ask me "So?"
I will tell her "No matter to feel jealous! Please you also join in facebook/twitter.Be know with my friends. They also wanna know about you."
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I always get some good advise from my friends of facebook. Even I have some friends who are member of mahalo.com, so when I fall into any bug of mahalo,I try to find them in chat box.
Many times I falls into a situation when I can't think what should I do? Then I talk about it with my friends through facebook.
So if anyone(Include Girlfriend) tell me to delete my facebook account, at first I will talk about "Why?"
Friendship and love realtionship totally different matter. So why you ask me "So?"
I will tell her "No matter to feel jealous! Please you also join in facebook/twitter.Be know with my friends. They also wanna know about you."
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October 06, 2009 11:01 PM
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I think that it is reasonable IF there has been some issue with cyber sex or being overly flirty on the accounts. However if there has not been and it is a new relationship, they are just being controlling and showing you how they will be in the future.
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October 07, 2009 04:17 AM
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I don't think that a person should have to delete their profiles just because the other person has a trust issue, unless the one with the problem has a reason for it, and that that reason involves you cheating in the past. Now, i see that people say that it's controlling the person, yes i understand that, but you also have to understand that the person is this way for a reason. What you should do is talk to the person before even deleting your profiles. Make sure you sit the person down and talk to them in a calmly matter. There should be no yelling. Make sure that the person understands your point of view and that you understand his as well. We all see things differently but we must also learn to see things the way the others do. So make sure that you both sit down, talk things over and make sure that no one ends up raising their voice. It doesn't help if the both of you are yelling at each other. Let him know that you would never cheat on you. If you're comfortable with the idea, then let him sit there as you chat with the other person only so they can see that you're not cheating on him. This will take time, I know because i have trust issues myself, im pretty sure a lot of other do too. But after awhile, your bf will see that you wouldn't hurt him and that he can trust you, so try to be patient. But if things get worse then you should talk to someone about it or break it off, because if it gets worse, it's not healthy for you.
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