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My ex-girlfriend came onto me. Should I tell her new boyfriend?

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quesera
quesera
November 09, 2009 09:37 PM
If you hadn't ever dated, I would say yes. I would say that the guy has a right to now that his girlfriend still considers herself "on the market" and is shopping around. However, since you have dated, I think there is a good chance that she is not throwing herself at every available guy: she is screwing with your head to feel pretty, trying to rub your face in what she thinks you're missing out on, and/or reminiscing about the past. You two have a complicated history that makes your present complicated as well. Since the new guy is going to believe her, in all likelihood, and pass your words off as just being the rant of a jealous ex, I doubt you would accomplish much by letting him know what happened. Instead, I think you'll save yourself a huge dramatic hassle by just setting boundaries with her, letting her know her attentions are no longer welcome, and keeping your distance.
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psionandy
psionandy
November 09, 2009 09:41 PM
Nope...

Lets face it. If you're going out with a girl and one of her ex boyfriends came to you and said that she came on to him what would your reaction be? Would you say "thank you for that honesty.. I value that and will bare it in mind when assessing the future of our relationship"? Or are you more likely to try and punch his lights out?

The other option is he just doesn't believe you and walks away without any violence but that doesn't change anything either.

The fact is you two have history together.. so at some time there is a chance that something will happen. But you've done all you can which is saying you're not interested and walking away. Telling on her aint gonna help.
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randync
randync
November 09, 2009 09:54 PM
Unless he is some friend of yours I would not tell him. He probably won't believe it anyway and why invite drama into your life by telling him.
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cmajaski
cmajaski
November 10, 2009 04:46 AM
No, don't tell him. Make it clear to her that you're not interested (if you're not) and unless she's persistent there's no reason to say anything.

Possible reasons for her actions 1. She's trying to get you and him in a fight, IDK some girls like that stuff or
2. She wants you back but since she's an ex and she's also essentially cheating on her bf, you should think about that.

He is most likely going to think you're lying and trying to break them up because you're jealous or want her back.

Either way, you won't gain anything by telling.
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melo
melo
November 10, 2009 08:05 AM
Don't tell the boyfriend, rather tell your ex to back off... because if things go wrong then you will be the one everyone turns to blame trust me....
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kimmertje
kimmertje
November 10, 2009 10:08 AM
As long as you didn't respond to her advances, I'd say stay out of it. It's her place to tell her boyfriend. (From how she is acting though, it seems that her new relationship doesn't mean much to her at all).

If she keeps coming on to you (and it's against your wishes) I'd say hint the new boyfriend, but if it's a one time thing, let her deal with her conscience.

Hope that helps.
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marisaupa
marisaupa
November 10, 2009 03:19 PM
If your ex tried to come on to you, the best thing that you can do, is courteously, but curtly, deny her advances. Beyond that, is she were to be persistent, you may want to have a talk with her, preferably in a neutral and public setting (cafe, park, etc.) and tell her directly that you feel uncomfortable by her actions and wish them to stop.

I do not see any circumstance were it would be advisable for you to inform her new love interest of her actions. Her infidelity, or attempted infidelity, is something for them to deal with, you have no vested interest in their relationship, and as such, should stay out of it.
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tramos
tramos
November 10, 2009 09:45 PM
I would not tell him. I would also stay away from her. The guy would eventually find out when she does it again with someone else.
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thegreatga...
thegreatga...
November 10, 2009 09:50 PM
If she really wanted to come to you and you also love her, then no need to tell her new boyfriend.

If she really wanted to come to you and you dont love her, then forget her and no need to tell her new boyfriend.

If she is just playing with you and using you and her new boyfriend, and you want to teach her a lesson very badly, Use her and tell her boyfriend also.

If she is just playing with you and using you and her new boyfriend and you just want to teach her a lesson, dont accept her and tell her boyfriend also

It all depends upon how she really loves you and how you love her
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mario2001
mario2001
November 10, 2009 09:56 PM
hi,
I think is good to talk, first.
Later you'll see.
it's better for the long term friendship.
Good luck
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irishsteph...
irishsteph...
November 10, 2009 10:07 PM
Absolutely NOT.

That's a bunch of drama you don't want. Just distance yourself from her and let her dig her own grave - remember as nice as it is to have a girl (especially an ex) come on to you, just know there was a reason you two broke up (I'm assuming it was you).
Every time she comes on to you, remember that reason and you'll be fine.

NOW - you don't need totell her current man that she did that because he (naturally) will think you still want what he has and you're simply tryng to break them up. Trust me - if she's coming on to you, she's coming on to other guys as well. And the LAST thing you need is her current guy thinking you're behind it. Like I said, let her dig her own grave. If she's going to go down in flames (and SHE WILL), don't let her take you with her.
Source(s):
Reason and experience
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jkr2008
jkr2008
November 10, 2009 10:24 PM
Wow Well I say no just stay far far away from her or when your around her make sure her new boyfriend is very very close by.
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vladis
vladis
November 10, 2009 10:29 PM
NO !!! Stay away from her...Unless he is your best friend...and I doubt your best friend will go out with your ex! Right?
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sabrinacar...
sabrinacar...
November 10, 2009 10:54 PM
The first question is are you friends with her current boyfriend, I mean were you two friends before they started dating, if no, do not tell him, because he will probably not believe you.

I suggest you try to cut ties with her, and decline her advances. You should not get involved in her relationship issues.
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wrg1985
wrg1985
November 11, 2009 12:25 AM
If you're good friends with the new boyfriend then I think you take action. First, though, I'd speak with the ex-girlfriend to see what her intentions were. Unless it was a blatant "coming on" to you then I wouldn't be so hasty.

If you're not friends with the new boyfriend, I'd skip on telling him. Spare yourself the drama -- it's their life. Unless her hitting on you becomes overwhelming and ridiculous, there's no need to get involved in their business.
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rondata
rondata
November 11, 2009 02:49 AM
Only if you are CLOSE with the new boyfriend.

If not, she'll deny it and the boyfriend won't believe you anyway.
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omicron
omicron
November 11, 2009 03:30 AM
Of course not.

Just forget about it.

The most common thing in the world is for an ex to get a bit tipsy and make some kind of familiarized pass at their ex.

I've seen it a billion times, and lots of those times is was ex-boyfriends making a cozy gesture to a girl who's now with me.

I just ignore it, and there's no problem.
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knockknock...
knockknock...
November 11, 2009 03:52 AM
I don't think there's any good for you to tell him unless u want him though (joking).
Why bother moreover some things that may seem easily right or wrong are not so simple so don't take action because in some point of view it may be wrong
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shanypro
shanypro
November 11, 2009 03:55 AM
I don't think you should tell him. I will sound like you're bragging, that your ex still like you or whatever. If he is a good friend of yours then yes, I do think you should because if he finds out, he'll be more mad. But if it's a random guy, don't worry about it.
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sabsmom
sabsmom
November 11, 2009 04:18 AM
You should first evaluate your relationship with the new boyfriend, if he is a good friend of yours then yes, you should lay out the information before him so that he can make an informed decision as to the future of his relationship.

If he is not a good friend, or friend at all of yours, and you don't feel its your place to tell him, you should open up to your ex about how her movement on you makes you feel. If it made you consider being back with her, you should ask her if her movement towards you was real, or just spur of the moment. If you two want to try things again, she needs to be honest and upfront with her current boyfriend and break things off, telling him they are just not working out. If you are not intersted at all, you should tell her for you two to have any form of a friendship in the future, that she can not cross that line again!

What ever you decide, you need to be honest with yourself, her, and her current boyfriend so that there is not a marry go round of lies.

Good Luck
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kenmasterl...
kenmasterl...
November 11, 2009 05:45 AM
The magic 8 ball says " YES"

Don't think of as your doing the new boyfriend a favor but doing yourself the favor by boost your ego/swagger. Your that good. "May the best man win."
And than get your pimp juice on!
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pjmom23
pjmom23
November 12, 2009 06:59 PM
ROFLOL. Wondering if you speak from EX-sperience with Barbie.
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anymonkeyc...
anymonkeyc...
November 11, 2009 06:37 AM
I wouldnt. If I understood you right "came onto me" means she is sleeping with you right? Then that means it is her personal choice and exercise of liberty that she is choosing to do so. She might have had trust in you that you are not going around telling everyone (esp. her new boyfriend) of that fact.
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pjmom23
pjmom23
November 12, 2009 07:04 PM
Why does that have to mean she is sleeping with him? LOL
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ai-ai
ai-ai
November 11, 2009 07:30 AM
No, you should not! Being honest sometimes doesn't help. What you should do is you tell your ex-girlfriend that she should behave because she has a boyfriend already and if you don't like her anymore then tell her frankly and don't play around with her. And the best way to avoid conflicts is to avoid her.
Source(s):
own opinion
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chronic_br...
chronic_br...
November 11, 2009 09:04 AM
It really depends on whether you are friends with her new boyfriend and whether you want your ex-girlfriend back or not. If you don't want her back and your not friends with the guy, I'd tell him and give him every detail but do it in a way that it seems like your trying to be a good friend and then you can walk away and never think about it again. If you want her back that would free her up, but it'd probably be easier just to go behind his back and take her quietly. If you don't want her back, you need to tell the guy though. Just think about it like she was still your girlfriend and she did that.
Source(s):
experience
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techprism
techprism
November 11, 2009 09:26 AM
No, you should not.

She felt you are better then whom she is with now. So, she is back to you.
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tun
tun
November 11, 2009 10:22 AM
nope
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luckyx5
luckyx5
November 11, 2009 11:55 AM
No, just let her know that you are not interested in her in a friendship way.
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haleycohen...
haleycohen...
November 11, 2009 02:04 PM
Hi. I would take your ex aside and warn her that you will tell her boyfriend if she continues to come on to you. Good luck.
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mami1980
mami1980
November 11, 2009 02:22 PM
It depends on if you want her back, or you want to get back at her?
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lynxlee
lynxlee
November 11, 2009 02:55 PM
Simplest advice I could give; control yourself !
Ain't no good's gonna come from these.
Not from telling his bf, or even telling her off.
And you've been through her before.. I'm sure you know why she's your ex.
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cowgirl_up
cowgirl_up
November 11, 2009 03:42 PM
do what u think is best
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donabpoppi...
donabpoppi...
November 11, 2009 06:11 PM
You dont want to start any drama.The best thing is to leave your ex girlfriend alone. Its absolutely fine to still be friends with her but just drop the old feelings. The truth will soon come to the light about hereventually.
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catt969
catt969
November 11, 2009 07:14 PM
Why is everyone protecting the ex-girlfriend. This situation happened to my husband. He not only told the boyfriend that she came onto him but also told him why they broke up. she cheated on him with a member of my husbands national guard unit. That is like sleeping with his brother. I asked him why he did tell the boyfriend when most would just drop it, and he said that no one should be hurt the way she hurts people. And I agree with him. It is ok to condemn immoral behavior. maybe is more people spoke up, then people will think twice before cheating.
Source(s):
personal experience
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pjmom23
pjmom23
November 12, 2009 07:11 PM
catt969 has a very good answer with which I mostly agree. The world has too much acceptance for bad deeds. I do not agree that telling the boyfriend in a one on one scenario is the proper course. Tell him when he is with at least one of his family members rather than telling him directly and alone, because to do it alone, might make the present boyfriend feel that you are still interested in your ex. If you tell him while his family is present, he will see how serious you are and that you don't want her to hurt him anymore with anyone else. Of course it is possible, that he won't believe you, but your conscience will be clear of the matter. PS. Be sure to bring a witness of your own to the exchange, and try to do it in a public place, like a coffee house.
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mhagans
mhagans
February 09, 2010 07:16 PM
No Way, u dnt have to explain unless for some reason u and her new boy friend are friends. Or for some reason u want to want her boyfriend not to be hurt. Just email him this video about that situation, its halairious.
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