Jessica ,

There is a great statistic that says"85% of relationships fail due to undefined expectations and ambiguous goals. As long you do not set clear expectations, your in laws will not know what you desire. You will begin to build resentment “unexpressed feelings never die, they just get buried and come forth later in ugly ways" and one day explode or begin to avoid them. The how-to is listed below.

My first suggestion is to make sure your husband is on board, then the two of you have a plan, ask your in-laws over for dinner and let them know you would like to have a family dinner an discuss some family matters.

First let them know that you love them very much. While you are so grateful that they care enuf to call and be friendly, you would like to ask them to please just call once a day or three times a week-whatever. ASK them if there is a reason they call as often as they do. There may be some need on their part that you can satisfy some other way. A quick email “hi, were fine, thinking of you today” to let them know that you are OK. Also, ask them if anything with your (you and your husband's) family “habits” (do not refer to them as a problems or intrusion) need to be modified to help them.

HERE ARE THE STEPS:

• Tell them that you love them.
• Describe the habit (calling) and why you would prefer them to limit the calls (you are busy, it breaks your concentration, work does not approve, you do not like to talk on the phone, whatever the reason.)
• Ask them if you/your husband need to modify any family behaviors
• BE PREPARED TO NEGOTIATE
• Tell them that you love them
• Carry thru. If they call, and have agreed not to call make sure you have a script in your head” Mom, is this an emergency? OK, if it is not then I will need to call you back when I am available. It may not be until tomorrow, or the next day. I know you probably forgot what we talked about. I love you. Is Thursday or Friday better for me to call you back? You may need to do this several times before they catch on, if you let them still call you 3x a day, then the behavior will continue.

Make sure you are well rested, not stressed, have enough time, and mean what you say ,and say what you mean, and have it practiced out with your husband.

Good luck. This will work.

if your in laws call you every day of the week then if you want some space well tell her hey in laws i was wondering can i have some space so i can sit down watch tv do what i want to do then i call you back in laws then if she say ok what the hell but if she say no well you just tell her that i need some space in i love in laws so please can i have some say then she really will say yes are for get it do what best for you in your in laws now put that in your head in she what will you come up with

You don't say give me some space . You say were busy wright now can we call you later. Or can you call tomarow