No... you shouldn't do this.

There are moral and ethical issues a plenty to fall into here. But from a practical point of view I'm not sure that it will work. The situation will go something like this.

You... you're cheating on me
him... no I'm not
You Yes you are, I installed some spying software on your computer and you've been chatting with her all the time...
Him You've been spying on me

And thats where you get into fight about why you're spying on him, and its an invasion of privacy and why you can't be trusted.

At no point do you get to talk about if the issue of cheating.. even if he is. Its not a win situation for you. If you really feel you can't trust him then installing the spy software isn't going to help. If you don't find any evidence are you going to wiretap his phone? go through his garbage? And if you do find something then you can't use that information anyway.

As tempting as it would be, I would say probably not. You should be able to have an honest conversation with him about how he thinks the relationship is going, and what he is doing with his spare time. If you have suspicions, he should be able to put them to rest for you during an open conversation.

The only exception to that would be if you are planning to seek damages, in your capacity as his common-law wife. In some states, live-in couples who share resources and live as if married are considered "common-law" spouses. If he was responsible for dissolving your "marriage" by cheating, hard evidence would allow you to seek alimony, to help cover things like the different in rent after you drop-kick him out of your place, etc.

Really, though, if the relationship is so terrible you think he could be cheating, I'd say it's time to collect your pride and ditch him.

If you think he won't catch it on there it's probably worth a shot. I have a friend whose wife put it on his computer to see if he was viewing porn. He wasn't until he found the software that was watching him.

Just the fact that you're asking the question leads me to believe that you think he is already and you just want proof. Get out of this relationship. There's no trust in it. Certainly not on your end and if he IS cheating then its on his end too. A relationship will crumble without truth, honesty and total disclosure.

Do it if necessary,I have installed spy software to monitor my cheating bf,however I got the truth at last.I found the software at this website

What monitoring software you want to apply?

If you want to lose him, go ahead and do it... but my advice would be to just come out and ask him. I know it hard but at the end of the day, will be worse to find out further down the line.... but the real answer i want to give, is if you already having these thoughts then something is not right between you....good luck

hi,
I think you can do it.
====================================
Now the thing is :
- a relationship is built with true feelings and trust
-Sharing feeling
-totally involve and passionate
- offering more without expecting anything back
- a better understanding of your relationship it's not bad ,even before marriage if might be the case.
__________________________________________
i hope you'll feel secure soon and enjoy you relation with him.

good luck

I think you should hire a private detective instead. If you have serious doubts about the guy, have him checked out for your own peace of mind and personal safety. If he cheats on you and lies in these days of HIV, he's putting your life at risk. If you have reason to suspect, you are probably right. You have an obligation to protect yourself. If you don't look out for yourself, who do you think is going to do it? The answer is nobody. Don't be a victim.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcuT_i5jR3s

no you must not
becoz in india a relation is trust

n if u will keeep watch on him he will be fed up n will try to move to next

so better keep trust had cool lyf thanx

womom womom has simple and excellent advice. You already think he is cheating, and you have suspicions of it. Usually, our first suspicions are correct, build trust in your own self. Evaluate whether or not you want to keep the relationship. Don't waste time spying. If you do want to keep him, seek counseling together. If he refuses, your answer is staring you in the face, and get out of there quick!

Have you ever tried asking him? If you don't trust him don't be with him! So no you shouldn't install a "SPY".The accuser is usually the guilty party!

I am surprised by all the responses to this. To all those who said NO, you have clearly never had any reason not to trust some one. To those who thought that you suspecting him of something is enough to run from the relationship....WTF? You don't walk away from a relationship unless you want out or have a good reason. If you can confirm your suspicions by simply checking out a couple of days worth of online activity then let it be done. Find a software though that runs completely incognito like spector. Yes this is something I used twice in my marriage. Not because I suspected my husband of cheating but because we had some issues with porn addiction. Let me tell you this allowed me to eventually feel far better in my relationship because it brought topics to the table that my husband had lied about until he knew I had proof. Was he mad? Absolutely. Did it improve my relationship when we worked through the distrust? Definitely. Don't make it a habitual thing though, if you feel you need to spy long term, and can't begin trusting when your fears have been confirmed or refuted, it may be time to move on.

My husband installed spy software on my computer. Because we were struggling in our sex life (I'll leave the details private), he assumed that I must be taking my pleasure elsewhere. He was wrong, of course, and his review of my computer vindicated me.

The problem was that he installed this software in the first place. It's extremely intrusive. It logs passwords and every IM and Facebook conversation. It tracks every email sent, not only from POP accounts (which come to your email client, such as Outlook Express, Thunderbird, etc.) but Internet-based mail like Gmail, Yahoo!, or Hotmail. And, in the case of this highly acclaimed software, it slowed my computer to a crawl and caused Avira to give me a virus notification. Through the virus notification and my Internet and computer savvy, I was able to track the source of the "infection."

I couldn't wrap my head around the image of my husband sitting down at my computer when I wasn't home and installing this invasive software. It forever damaged my trust. Not only that, I use my PC for work (he has his own) and the software severely hindered its performance to the point where I finally couldn't work at all because the words I typed on my screen appeared at a rate of about 1 letter every 5 seconds. (I type 92 wpm.) So my husband not only shattered my trust in him, but jeopardized my job as well.

I called my husband at work when I discovered the software. He denied it. Then he suggested that hackers had entered a "back door" to our home network and installed the software. I knew better, and answered, "Hackers don't pay $60 for software."

Finally, I sent him an email at work and said that if he would just reveal the password to this program so I could uninstall it I would never speak of it again. He sent me a one word response--the password (which happened to be something derogatory about me). I uninstalled the program but I was so furious with him that I told him not to come home. We worked things out later, but the damage is permanently done. I'm always going to be looking for ghosts spying from the shadows.

If this is the sort of scene you want to cause, by all means, install that software. If not, then try asking. Ask him for access to his PC on the spot. Tell him that you just want to put your mind at ease. (But be prepared for him to be hurt and angry that you doubt him.) If he gives you access, you likely have nothing to worry about. (Either that, or he's covering his tracks online VERY well.) If he doesn't, that's a red flag. Either way, be prepared. Once you open Pandora's box it's not going to be easy to close again.

The reality is, though, that if you don't trust him now and you find his actions suspicious you probably always will. And I can speak from experience (I've been cheated on) and say that trust is not something to take lightly. Living in a relationship without trust is pure hell, whether that lack of trust is justified or not.