As someone who has been on the other side of this (twice), and was NOT told (either time), I strongly recommend that you do. Believe me, when it comes from the friend, it will make the whole situation worse. There is nothing quite like sitting and having a drink with your friend and having them casually mention that they slept with your significant other back in the day. It feels like a total sock to the gut. And it definitely raises questions like "why wasn't I told?"

Since you didn't even know your boyfriend when this happened, I don't think you have anything to lose by sitting down and telling him "so, now that I know you and so-and-so are friends, I think it's important that you hear from me that he and I have a brief history. It wasn't anything significant, and there is absolutely nothing between us now, but I don't want it to be weird."

He may care, or he may not, but your honestly should mean something to him. You have the right to privacy with your life pre-boyfriend, but this sort of blurs into the present in a pretty significant way. And since you have nothing to hide, I think you can only benefit from being the first one to spill the beans.

Yes... you have to tell him.

Sooner or later he's going to find out. Either from his friend, one of your friends, someone who knows you both, a family member. SOMEBODY is going to let the cat out of the bag. And there's nothing you an do to stop it.

When that happens the first thing he's going to feel is angry. The second thing he's going to want to know is why didn't you tell him?... followed by the third which is 'is the reason you didn't tell me because you and him still have something going on?'

If you place any value in this relationship you have to let him know so that when someone does tell him, he can tell them that its ancient history.

ca

Yeah. Its better to tell him yourself then for him to find out form somebody else

Please!!!! tell him/her what's going on. Honesty is the best policy. I understand having a life before your current love, but there is a grey area when you first meet. I am currently arguing with my boyfriend about this exact situation about a girl I am friends with and work with. We have been dating/living together for a year and a half and I just found out tonight that they "got it on" just before we got together. The really s--tty part of this story is that when we first met, I knew he was "talking" to her. So, when we got serious, I asked him..."Did you guys have sex?" Of course, his answer was no, so I left it at that. She never said anything to me until recently, and I tried to let it go for a while, but it drove me crazy to the point of asking him. It finally came up in conversation, and I told him she told me the real story...(she really didn't...guys are just stupid like that) He confessed....and now I know, but it makes me view everything a bit differently. Am I wrong for thinking he lied to me? I have been completely honest with him and have always hoped for the same from him. By the way...he has consistently lied to me about other things...not other women...just other issues I've been able to get past.