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When should you be concerned about your significant other's communication with an ex?

If they are constantly exchanging texts or messages on Facebook, when should it be an issue and when is it just insecurity?
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tealmyster
tealmyster
Marked as Best! October 30, 2009 02:37 AM
Remembering the good ole times...how much fun they had....always leaves me with a huge concern of am I going to be cheated on....Personally I have had bad luck, everytime that is done...guess what happens a few weeks later...Maybe I just pick dirt bags...I don't know...but I don't think any constant contact is good between exs...I would never do it...Unless I wanted back with them...
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• Lol...thanks for the honesty ;)
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gno
gno
October 30, 2009 02:05 AM
When he/she starts hiding it!

As long as it's all strictly above-board, I wouldn't worry about it. You need to trust your partner, and the fact that he/she trusts you enough to be honest and keep you in the loop is a GREAT thing. Always assume that it's merely just old friends keeping in touch.

As SOON as they start hiding things, or messages start getting secretive, if passwords get changed, or if he makes double accounts, closes the window when you walk in the room (you get the idea), then THAT'S when to get super concerned.
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raerae2
raerae2
October 30, 2009 02:25 AM
I still keep in touch with a few of my exes and so does my boyfriend. We don't have anything to hide, so we don't hide it, but we still respect each others' privacy. It's a mutual respect and trust we are still working on but we are doing well in this area. I agree that when things start getting hidden, then there is something to be suspicious of and a reason to worry. However, I know that I would worry if the communication was too excessive or if he talked to his ex more than he talked to me. That's a big problem, too. Don't worry about it, just keep an eye on it from a distance.

Also, I'm a big advocate of communication. I think you should mention something to him about your apprehension regarding him talking to his ex so much. Do it now, before you start feeling the urge to accuse him of anything and start to over-react. Just be honest with him that you realize it's just a friendship, but that you are feeling a bit uncomfortable with it. Ask him what YALL can do to ease your worry and see if he has any worries of his own regarding you and anything you may be doing without knowing it. Then, it'll become a team effort and you will have avoided getting into accusing him of anything.
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