I would be mad at the boyfriend for not discussing it with me at length so that we might come to a mutually acceptable agreement.

I would never marry a man who planned a surprise proposal. It's an outdated and kind of sexist practice that puts undue pressure on the woman to agree to the man's wishes. I would also never marry a man who bought me an engagement ring, incidentally.

~Happily married for 6+ years.~

Well, if I was just bitching to the friend about how oddly reticent he was to commit, I'd thank her/him for saving the relationship. Otherwise I'd be pissed as hell.

I understand that some women liked to be surprised by a proposal, but in my humble opinion, if you did not see this proposal coming or did not talk about the future in this aspect with your boyfriend, then you need to change the way you communicate. I would also be mad for not having talked about a proposal more in the first place.

As has been said above, I don't see why a surprise proposal is desirable. I get wanting the romance of it all, but I think you can do that without finding a ring in a cake. In my opinion, getting engaged shouldn't be a nerve-wrecking thing for either party, but a natural progression in your relationship. What would really upset me in that situation is that my boyfriend had discussed marriage with my friend, and not with me. That, I think, is an unhealthy reflection of your relationship.

Everyone keeps mentioning speaking about being proposed to first, which I do agree with. But for argument's sake, pretend you HAVE discussed this with your partner (regardless of gender because that doesn't really affect anything). So pretend you settled on the idea that you WOULD like to be proposed to....therefore the surprise wouldn't be "will he/she?" but "when and how" will they. If my friend decided to ruin THAT surprise, I think I'd be mad for the sheer fact that A) it implies my friend can not keep a secret B) I'll be expecting it and therefore feel antsy and C) obviously won't be as surprised. It'll defeat the whole purpose!

I want to be surprised, and I want a ring. You guys are weird. Most of the couples I know talk about if they want to get married, and when they decide they do, she waits for a proposal. Of course a subtle hint wouldn't really tell me how he was going to propose or when, but it would set me up to be looking for it - when he finally asked I think I would feel more relieved then excited. That's no fun. Right on, peagreen.

And a ring proves that his head is in the game and he's really committed to the idea. If he can save up 2 months of salary and spend it on a piece of jewelry (which few men understand the logic of) then I can rest assured that he isn't romanticizing the relationship and has given it a serious amount of thought. He isn't buying or bribing me, he's proving he's not a child. Tangent, sorry.

End thought: unless he's cheating on me, keep his secrets to yourself.