I don't know if these are the funniest, but it is the funniest that I can remember. The lyrics are from Jonathan Coulton's song Re: Your Brains

"Heya Tom, it's Bob,
From the office down the hall.
It's good to see you buddy,
How've ya been?
Things have been okay for me,
Except that I'm a zombie now.
I really wish you'd let us in.
I think I speak for all of us when I say I understand
Why you folks might hesitate to submit to our demands,
But here's an FYI - you're all gonna die, screaming.

All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were not unreasonable,
I mean no-one's gonna eat your eyes
All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were at an impasse here,
Maybe we should compromise.
If you open up the door,
We'll all come inside and eat your brains.

I don't wanna nitpick Tom, but is this really your plan -
Spend your whole life locked inside a mall?
Maybe that's okay for now,
But someday you'll be out of food and guns,
And you'll have to make the call.
I'm not surprised to see you haven't thought it through enough -
You never had the head for all that 'bigger picture' stuff.
But Tom, that's what I do,
And I plan on eating you, slowly.

All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were not unreasonable,
I mean no-one's gonna eat your eyes
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were at an impasse here
Maybe we should compromise
If you open up the door,
We'll all come inside and eat your brains

I'd like to help you Tom,
In any way I can.
I sure appreciate the way you're working with me.
I'm not a monster Tom - well, technically I am...I guess I am...

I've got another meeting Tom;
Maybe we could wrap it up.
I know we'll get to common ground somehow.
Meanwhile I'll report back to my colleagues,
Who are chewing on the doors.
I guess we'll table this for now.
I'm glad to see you take constructive criticism well
Thank you for your time, I know we're all busy as hell.
And we'll put this thing to bed,
When I bash your head open.

All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were not unreasonable,
I mean no-one's gonna eat your eyes
All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were at an impasse here
Maybe we should compromise
If you open up the door,
We'll all come inside and eat your brains"

I have to say Jimmy Buffet "Magaritaville" is such a funny song it makes me laugh no matter what mood I am in.

Call it my 12-year-old boy sense of humor, but by far, the funniest song lyrics I've heard is from the Bloodhound Gang-- "Bad Touch"....better known for the line: "You and me baby, aint nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel..Getting horny now!"

I found lyrics and a video on Youtube for your enjoyment :)

LYRICS:

"Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating
But there are several other very important differences
Between human beings and animals that you should know about

I'd appreciate your input

Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns
Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now

Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it
Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory"
So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship
Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip
So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle
And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files"

Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now"

There was funnier songs, but of recent memory it must be:

Asher Roth - I Love College

Pain - Midgets With Guns

Broken arms, I would hold you
Even if I had broken arms.
Can you make a tourniquet for a broken heart?
A bad idea?
Well I suppose it’s up to me to juxtapose myself.
There’s little guys with little guns
Inside our mouths, inside our heads,
They make us suffer.

I’ll stay home, it’s a good thing I think I’m funny.
Don’t come by, I’ll be making jokes about you.
But then again, you could come in.
We could make fun of all the things we used to yesterday.
I’ve got a five, you’ve got a ten,
That’s fifteen dollars, we could see how long it takes to spend.

You like games that drive us both insane
And I roll the dice but that’s just to be nice to you.
Why don’t we try something else for a change?
Hey, I know!
Why don’t I poke out my eyes for you over and over
And over and over again?

Get out of my house!
And can I come with you?
‘Cuz where there’s a will there’s a way
We can kill all the midgets with guns
That we have on our tongues
Just stick out your lips, lean in close, and we’ll kiss them
Goodbye to the midgets with guns.

It's the song my wife and I danced to at our wedding.

Thane

I'd have to say Insects by Oingo Boingo (good 'ole 80's tunes....)

Tiny insects in my hair
Tiny insects everywhere
Tiny insects in my pants
Watching insects make romance
Insects make me make me want to dance dance dance
They make want to dance . . .
Flying insects everywhere
Flying insects buzzing buzzing buzzing thru the air
Just like little diamonds in the sky
Insects buzzing in my eye
Buzzing insects make me want to dance dance dance
They make me want to dance . . .
Insects crawling all around
Insects squirming in the ground
Insects gooey squeaky chewy
Should I eat them--no
I'd rather stomp them hurt them stomp
Stomp them while I dance dance dance
I hurt them while I dance dance dance
I stomp them while I dance dance dance . . .
Insects make me scream and shout
They don't know what life's about
They don't have blood
They've got too many legs
They don't have brains in their heads
They know they'll rule the world some day
They bite and sting me anyway
They bite and sting and suck
They bite and sting and suck suck suck
They bite and sting and
suck suck suck suck suck . . .
Dance dance dance

Since it's quite an old song it was hard to find the real music video in a format to put here but I was able to get the audio for the song. Lots of people had used the song for their own video but the original is the best if it can be found.

This is not a very popular song, and there are only two videos on YouTube with the song in it. The other video was cut short and had background noise. Anyways, the song is called "99 Dead Baboons" by Tim Cavanaugh. He has made a couple minor radio appearances, but like I said he's not a very popular artist. anyways, here's my answer.

"99 Dead Baboons" by Tim Cavanaugh

Hey, have a lot of you heard the new song by Nena - "99 Red Balloons"? You know, I heard the German version of that song first, and I really liked it. But then I heard the English version, and I was really surprised to find that what she's singing in English and what she's singing in German are not even close. Uh, I ended up buying the record, and I listened very closely to the German version, and I've come up with a new English translation that I think is really much more accurate, much closer... I have to admit there are a couple of lines in this new English version that I'm not real sure about, but I think it's a much more accurate version. Now this is the new version, "99 Red Balloons".

Hello Bobby my old friend.
It's good to see you once again.
How's your mother, how's your aunt?
How's your father's skin diving suit?
(That's one of the lines I'm not real sure about, but it goes something like this.)

I've got something you should see
Back at my place; come with me.
I've got some brand new furnishings,
Plus 99 dead baboons

99 dead baboons
Sitting in my living room.
Not too functional it seems,
But quite a conversation piece.
This one's Jake, that one's Dinah,
There's big Ned in my recliner.
No it's not a lazy boy.
Can't you see it's a dead baboon?

Dead baboons, dead baboons.
Dead baboons, dead baboons.

How they got here I'm not sure;
Woke up one day, there they were.
Luckily I've got a lease
Allowing pets if they're deceased.
I'm just thankful they're not apes,
'Cuz apes would clash with the drapes.
No more napkins at my parties -
Wipe your hands on a dead baboon.

Dead baboons, dead baboons.
Dead baboons, dead baboons.

Dead baboons are lots of fun;
Playin' water balloons I've always won.
You can keep your dead giraffes and swine,
I'll take dead baboons every time.
There's just one problem I have found:
It's finding Purina Dead Baboon Chow.
But what a happy snorkelling device...
(That's another line I'm not real sure about, but it's somethin' like that)
With 99 dead baboons.

Dead baboons, dead baboons.
Dead baboons, dead baboons.

It's gotta be this. Makes me LOL every single time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7oGx2dImE8

This one is quite funny

Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport
By Rolf Harris

Music begins:

There's an old Australian stockman, lying, dying
And he gets himself up on one elbow
And he turns to his mates, who are all gathered 'round him
And he says

Watch me wallaby's feed, mate
Watch me wallaby's feed
They're a dangerous breed, mate
So watch me wallaby's feed

Chorus
All together now
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
/ Chorus

Keep me cockatoo cool, Curl
Keep me cockatoo cool
Don't go acting the fool, Curl
Just keep me cockatoo cool

Chorus
All together now
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
/ Chorus

Take me koala back, Jack
Take me koala back
He lives somewhere out on the track, Mac
So take me koala back

Chorus
All together now
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
/ Chorus

Let me abos go loose, Lou
Let me abos go loose
They're of no further use, Lou
So let me abos go loose

Chorus
All together now
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
/ Chorus

Mind me platypus duck, Bill
Mind me platypus duck
Don't let him go running amok, Bill
Just mind me platypus duck

Chorus
All together now
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
/ Chorus

Play your didgeridoo, Blue
Play your didgeridoo
Uh, like, keep playing while I shoot through, Blue
Play your didgeridoo

Chorus
All together now
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
/ Chorus

Tan me hide when I'm dead, Fred
Tan me hide when I'm dead
So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde
And that's it hanging on the shed

Chorus
All together now
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
/ Chorus

Stephen Lunch "Special Olympics"

Watch them run, watch them fall,
Watch them try to catch a ball, olympics
At the special olympics.

Watch them laugh, watch them drool,
Watch them fall into the pool, that's diving.
At the special olympics.

And I know full well, that I will burn in hell,
But those guys playing wheelchair basketball gotta be about the funniest freakin' thing I've ever seen in my life,
At the special olympics.

Verse Two (yes, he really says this.)

Kid with downs wins the race, even though he stood in place, olympics.
At the special...(laughter)olympics.

'Round his neck, gold medals hung.
Resting on his giant tongue, olympics.
That's the special olympics.

But I kid when I sing, cause these games are a beautiful thing.
Okay, really, I'm just avoiding karma, cause I know my children are going to be born crippled and blind and until I'm retired I'm going to spend all my time,
at the special olympics.

The funniest song that comes to mind is the song "Beans in your Ears".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rE9cepZuTkA

Beans in My Ears
(Len Chandler)

My mommy said not to put beans in my ears!
Beans in my ears! Beans in my ears!
My mommy said not to put beans in my ears!
B-E-A-N-S in my ears!

Now why would I want to put beans in my ears?
Beans in my ears! Beans in my ears!
Now why would I want to put beans in my ears?
B-E-A-N-S in my ears!

You can't hear the teacher (your parents) with beans in your ears!
Beans in your ears! Beans in your ears!
You can't hear the teacher (your parents) with beans in your ears!
B-E-A-N-S in your ears!

Hey, Charlie, let's go and put beans in our ears!?
Beans in our ears? Beans in our ears!
Hey, Charlie, let's go and put beans in our ears!?
B-E-A-N-S in our ears!

WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY? Let's put beans in our ears!
Beans in our ears? Beans in our ears!
WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY? Let's put beans in our ears!
B-E-A-N-S in our ears!

YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP, I'VE GOT BEANS IN MY EARS!
Beans in your ears? Beans in my ears!
YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP, I'VE GOT BEANS IN MY EARS!
B-E-A-N-S in her ears!

Hey, mommy we've gone and put beans in our ears!
Beans in our ears! Beans in our ears!
Hey, mommy we've gone and put beans in our ears!
B-E-A-N-S in our ears!

That's nice, boys, just don't put those beans in your ears!
Beans in our ears! Beans in our ears!
That's nice, boys, just don't put those beans in your ears!
B-E-A-N-S in our ears!

I think that all grownups have beans in their ears!
Beans in their ears! Beans in their ears!
I think that all grownups have beans in their ears!
B-E-A-N-S in their ears!

I really like "Nobody Gets Off In This Town" recorded by Garth Brooks. My favorite line is "the school colors are brown." Now that's dull!