Let his wife deal with it; he's her responsibility now. If she comes to you for help or advice, then offer it to her. If I were in your shoes, how I'd handle the situation would depend on whether this is his first offense or whether it's a pattern of behavior. First offense: we all goof up once in a while, and sitting in jail is no fun. If you do offer to bail him out, give him a good motherly scolding and let him know you expect to be paid back! And tell him if it happens again, he and his wife will have to handle the situation on their own.

Repeated offenses: A bit trickier. If you let him sit in jail, is he likely to lose his job and cause hardship for his wife (and possibly children). Or is he one of those who doesn't work and expects the rest of the family to care for his? Is he likely to land back in jail in the near future if you bail him out? If that's the case, don't be an enabler, leave him there.

He's a grown man with his own family responsibilities now, and sometimes us parents have to adopt a "tough love" approach when our kids repeatedly make the same stupid mistakes. And not helping our children can make us feel guilty and create hard feelings, but sometimes it's the best thing for them.

if your son is married then the responsibility lies with his wife.

At my house, I have a rule and it is stated all the time. "If you get arrested, you will sit there. I will come to visit every visiting day bringing with me a dollar and a clean pair of underwear." (except my husband who has talked me into 2 dollars and 2 pairs of clean underwear).

I have also told them that if they can't protect their freedom by following the law, not to expect me to lie for them or protect them from themselves.

If this situation ever happens, they already know what to expect. I feel like this. If my child gets into that kind of trouble and I bail him out, it starts a downward spiral of constant trouble. It is better for them to get used to the fact that they did a stupid thing

I won't bail out my son if he is arrested because of disorderly conduct. This is a good lesson for him and this might help get his act straight. He should face the consequences of his actions and maybe after this experience he will learn to be careful and behave. If he is married it is up to his wife but I won't influence her decision. If she will ask for my help I have to decline because I don't want to tolerate my son's disorderly act. He may be disappointed in me but I'm sure he will understand especially if he will become a father himself and experience the same situation with his son. I should say experience is the best teacher and with that experience I know that it will help him to avoid getting into trouble and learn self-control in the future.

as mothers you know we are gonna do it any way , but i think we should be slow about to get them.

When I read the question I was about to say yes, in a second, because I was assuming that he was still a teenager. In this case I'd say that as he's a (so called) adult then his wife would be the person to do it.

That said, If he did call you then he is asking for help, so your call should probably be to his wife to explain whats happened and so that you can take the next step together. If she thinks that he needs time to reflect on his stupidity then i'd go with her.

Jail can be a dangerous place. Would you want it on your conscience if he were badly beaten or worse, while you were trying to "teach him a lesson"? If my son were in jail and I could get him out, I would. Every time. I kind of like the saying "my family, reight or wrong".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffHcGlF0xDw