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At what age would you allow your young teen to go on their first date? Would you allow a pre-teen to date (movies, ice cream, etc.)?

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ritrzblok
ritrzblok
Marked as Best! December 20, 2009 03:17 AM
What perfect timing for this question! My son just had his 13th birthday a few weeks ago. Friday, he asked a girl out for the 1st time. I have been thinking about this for the last 2 days. Times have changed, and the age of maturity in our children has also changed. My outlook on this is I feel comfortable with them "hanging out". Either at my home (no bedroom or closed door rooms!), in a public setting. But I do not feel comfortable with him being in an "alone" setting just yet. Movies, only if I go as well. I don't need to sit with them, but I will be in the same theatre. They can walk around the mall, but I will also be at the mall. Not the same store or anything, but at least within minutes.
While I think my son is a respectable young man, he is after all 13. I know what he's thinking. But I also know that I have to start letting go. This is a very difficult age for any parent. And unfortunately, I think this situation is more of a trial and error. Give them a little space, and see if you can trust them, before giving any more.
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bitbit
bitbit
December 20, 2009 03:16 AM
I preset the age at which I wanted my girls to begin single dates at age 16 years. However I did allow them to "double" date at 15 occasionally. I have several preset ages for different milestones in their teen years so that they would have "something to look forward to" every year or two. Each milestone marked a symbolic level of maturity.
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tobias
tobias
December 20, 2009 07:54 AM
What kind of date? Middle schools often have dances, I don't object to a pre-teen taking a date to those. Dinner and a movie? They should probably be old enough to drive themselves. Ten kids who all go to the roller rink/theatre/ice cream shop together as dates? Around 13 or so.

The bigger question is if teenagers even date these days. It's not exactly 1950 with the sock hop. I'm still fairly young (too young to have a teenager, anyway) and I don't think I know anyone who's gone on dates with a person. You hang out with friends and then eventually are a couple. It's vaguely disappointing.
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shewolfsil...
shewolfsil...
December 20, 2009 04:38 PM
I allowed "group" outings when they were 13 through 15. As long as there was a parent going along or dropping them off and picking them up. I didn't allow actually one on one dating until the age of 16. But I might be outdated. :) My older children are all in their twenties now.
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