The moment you become a parent your entire purpose in life changes. A good parent evaluates the decisions that they make and asks themselves what impact those decisions will have on their children. Is it a positive or a negative influence. Are you doing what you can to make sure your little one grows up to be moral, confident, independent, strong, successful, well-balanced, accepting of love, able to give love, etc.? If you are then you also are setting up restrictions, expectations and consequences as the authority figure in their life.

I feel that far too many parents step into the place of a friend with their children. In doing that the child and parent both often lose sight of the purpose of a child and parent relationship is all about to begin with. Without a parent, where will a child get their direction, guidance, limits and structure from?

Oddly enough, parents who feel they must develop a friendship with their child vs. an authoritarian relationship are often seeking the approval or their children. In a correct situation, it is the child who should be seeking the approval of his or her parents. For reasons that reflect a psychological issue, the parent begins to quite literally need the approval of their child so much that they will agree to demands that are ridiculous and sometimes even dangerous.

Once a teenager, the demands will likely grow. For example, an underage teen may want to drink, dress in an indecent manner or act in other obviously inappropriate and dangerous ways. While the parent may know full well that allowing such behavior is a horrible idea they are likely to give in to ridiculous requests just to stay within the favor of their 'friend.' A teenager learns quickly that they hold the emotional well-being of their parent in the palm of their hands. Manipulation becomes a strategy that they use to their full advantage.

It is a strong psychological recommendation that parents who feel the need to meet the approval of their children by being their friends and essentially allowing a role reversal to seek therapy for themselves; not their children. By helping the parent to release the emotional responsibility that they have placed upon their child and allowing the parent to regain their rightful role, the parent can then do what they should have been doing all along -- parent.

In the developing years it is very important to lay the foundations first. Let the children know that you are in charge, but also be gentle with them so as to let them know that you're there for them all the time. Later on when they grow up, show them that no matter what happens you'll be there through thick and thin.
Peace!

I think being a good parent involves being a friend in the sense that you should develop a relationship with your child that isn't strictly based on your child getting their needs met by you. Your child shouldn't think of you as some kind of machine. They should feel like you will always love them and always provide for them, but they need to understand the concept of conditional love as well. That's how they learn to respect other people's boundaries and develop their own. Just remember that they will learn it with or without you.

The older the child gets, the more your relationship with them should progress towards friendship. At some point they will be more capable of being able to provide for themselves and at that point you will become obsolete. You should want them to feel comfortable telling you things and coming to you for advice and that isn't a given just because you're a parent.

A parent isn't only a provider. A parent teaches their child how to behave and what to expect from people in social settings and also in relationships, so you want to make sure your child knows how to be respectful and how to build relationships in addition to making sure that their needs are taken care of.