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How can I get my son to go to sleep at night?
My son is 15, so this isn't a little baby or a toddler who keeps waking up or fights sleep. He's a strapping young man who simply refuses to go to sleep at night. But then he'll fall asleep during the middle of the day! I've made sure he's not allowed to nap, but he still isn't going to bed. I'll wake up at 4am and he's up watching TV or reading a book or sneaking onto the laptop (I make him keep it in the living room, not his bedroom).
How can I get him to sleep without turning off all electronics and drugging him every night?
(PS: Just kidding about the drugging part... sorta.)
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How can I get him to sleep without turning off all electronics and drugging him every night?
(PS: Just kidding about the drugging part... sorta.)
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October 02, 2009 06:55 PM
http://www.schoolfamily.com/school-family-articles/article/8282-make-sure-y...
http://www.ehow.com/how_2074250_deal-teen-sleep-problems.html
http://www.radicalparenting.com/2009/03/03/teen-sleep-disorders-how-to-help...
http://www.answerbag.com/articles/How-to-Deal-With-Teen-Sleep-Apnea/90b8d67...
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How to make a 15 year old sleep without turning off electronics and drugging?
Well I have a 16 year old so have some experience of this. Research has shown that teens need plenty of sleep.
Here's some suggestions from me:
> Set a strict bedtime, I would say 10 - 10:30PM is fair when school is the next day
> Set consequences if the bedtime isn't adhered to (grounding, removal of electronics, etc)
> Let your 15 year old stay up later on non-school nights, up to about 1AM perhaps
> Like you say cut out the daytime naps!
> Limit access to caffeine and sugar in the evening. These act as stimulates and keep teens awake
> If your teen has a snoring problem, take them to the doctors to investigate if there's a medical condition (e.g. Sleep Apnea, etc)
> Avoid TV and playing computer games 1 hour before bed. These can cause brain stimulation to teens
> Taking a hot shower before bed can get a teen ready for a good night of sleep, this relaxes the brain
> Make sure your teen isn't exposed to bright light before bed, again it stimulates the brain
> Try to ensure your teen gets some exercise during the day, this will make them naturally tired
After all that hard work I think I need a nap. BTW read the source articles below, some great advice for your situation.
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Well I have a 16 year old so have some experience of this. Research has shown that teens need plenty of sleep.
Here's some suggestions from me:
> Set a strict bedtime, I would say 10 - 10:30PM is fair when school is the next day
> Set consequences if the bedtime isn't adhered to (grounding, removal of electronics, etc)
> Let your 15 year old stay up later on non-school nights, up to about 1AM perhaps
> Like you say cut out the daytime naps!
> Limit access to caffeine and sugar in the evening. These act as stimulates and keep teens awake
> If your teen has a snoring problem, take them to the doctors to investigate if there's a medical condition (e.g. Sleep Apnea, etc)
> Avoid TV and playing computer games 1 hour before bed. These can cause brain stimulation to teens
> Taking a hot shower before bed can get a teen ready for a good night of sleep, this relaxes the brain
> Make sure your teen isn't exposed to bright light before bed, again it stimulates the brain
> Try to ensure your teen gets some exercise during the day, this will make them naturally tired
After all that hard work I think I need a nap. BTW read the source articles below, some great advice for your situation.
http://www.schoolfamily.com/school-family-articles/article/8282-make-sure-y...
http://www.ehow.com/how_2074250_deal-teen-sleep-problems.html
http://www.radicalparenting.com/2009/03/03/teen-sleep-disorders-how-to-help...
http://www.answerbag.com/articles/How-to-Deal-With-Teen-Sleep-Apnea/90b8d67...
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• Thanks for the tips, advice and links!
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October 02, 2009 04:33 AM
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You know, as a teenager, I was always a night owl (um... ok, so I'm still a night owl). Back in my teen years, I know that getting me to go to bed at a reasonable hour (well, reasonable by my Dad's definition,anyway - Mom was also a night owl) required some cajoling. However, I was always impressed by my father's offer to rock me to sleep.... with a very large rock!
Only kidding (or am i?). The only way I know of to reset internal clocks is through sleep deprivation. For a strapping 15 year old, that would not really prove to pose many physical consequences. Sleep deprivation could be followed by a dose of melatonin one half hour prior to the "desired" bed time, which should help reset his internal biological clock.
While this technique still uses chemical assistance, it should (hopefully) be a one time dose.
Sweet Dreams!
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Only kidding (or am i?). The only way I know of to reset internal clocks is through sleep deprivation. For a strapping 15 year old, that would not really prove to pose many physical consequences. Sleep deprivation could be followed by a dose of melatonin one half hour prior to the "desired" bed time, which should help reset his internal biological clock.
While this technique still uses chemical assistance, it should (hopefully) be a one time dose.
Sweet Dreams!
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October 02, 2009 05:19 AM
LMAO @ the rock joke! love it!
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October 02, 2009 06:24 AM
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Hehe, as an ex-15 year old boy, I can tell you that until he wants to get on a better schedule, it won't happen. You can try a reward system, that might work with some kids. Heck, I'm almost 35 now and just barely appreciating getting up at a decent hour in the morning. It takes a while with boys. We like to feel in control and independent at a very young age (until we get hurt! Then it's MOOOOMMMYY!!) and trying to enforce a bedtime rule will only make it worse.
A reward system of some sort is all I can think of offhand. Like, if he can go 3 days without dragging or napping then he gets a trip to the movies or whatever kids like to do these days.
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A reward system of some sort is all I can think of offhand. Like, if he can go 3 days without dragging or napping then he gets a trip to the movies or whatever kids like to do these days.
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October 05, 2009 05:25 AM
He does respond well to positive reinforcement (rewards) but I've found that they also make him a lot sneakier. He'll try to get both the sneaking in to watch try and the reward!
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October 02, 2009 07:02 PM
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It sounds like you've already tried to rationally talk to your Son about the problems associated with staying up late.
How are his grades? Some folks simply work better at night. If his grades are acceptable, then maybe it's better simply to let him stay up late. Maybe tell him that you've decided to stop "nagging" him (even thought that's not what you're doing) about staying up late and have decided that since he is a responsible, good family member and is "doing his job" by keeping his grades up that you shouldn't dictate when he goes to sleep.
With that said, if his grades slip or his attitude becomes unbalanced, tell him that he needs to change his sleeping patterns because you're worried about him.
Tell him that you're going to disconnect the cable and the Internet until his sleep patterns improve. Then, call your cable company, put the TV on a 3 month hold and disconnect the internet (physically remove the modem) when you're not using it or he doesn't need it for homework.
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How are his grades? Some folks simply work better at night. If his grades are acceptable, then maybe it's better simply to let him stay up late. Maybe tell him that you've decided to stop "nagging" him (even thought that's not what you're doing) about staying up late and have decided that since he is a responsible, good family member and is "doing his job" by keeping his grades up that you shouldn't dictate when he goes to sleep.
With that said, if his grades slip or his attitude becomes unbalanced, tell him that he needs to change his sleeping patterns because you're worried about him.
Tell him that you're going to disconnect the cable and the Internet until his sleep patterns improve. Then, call your cable company, put the TV on a 3 month hold and disconnect the internet (physically remove the modem) when you're not using it or he doesn't need it for homework.
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October 05, 2009 05:23 AM
I homeschool him and that's part of the problem. I can't get him to focus on his school work because he's always nodding off. Then, when it's time to play on the computer for his allotted time at night, he's suddenly WIDE awake!
I am thinking the TV is a big part of the problem. Even when it was taken out of his room, he would sneak into the living room and watch television until we coded the DVR so it wouldn't play without entering the code. We're staying with a friend out of town for an extended stay right now and there's no code to block her TV. I'm thinking that's the biggest issue right there.
Your ideas are solid - but hard for me to implement at my friend's house. thanks for the thoughts!
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I am thinking the TV is a big part of the problem. Even when it was taken out of his room, he would sneak into the living room and watch television until we coded the DVR so it wouldn't play without entering the code. We're staying with a friend out of town for an extended stay right now and there's no code to block her TV. I'm thinking that's the biggest issue right there.
Your ideas are solid - but hard for me to implement at my friend's house. thanks for the thoughts!
October 02, 2009 11:54 PM
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I did home school my daughter when when she was a teen for a year, and I found it was much easier to work on her studies later at night because that was her pattern. Perhaps this might work for your son.
I have 2 teen age sons and its always hard to get them to sleep, both are still in school.
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I have 2 teen age sons and its always hard to get them to sleep, both are still in school.
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October 04, 2009 12:38 AM
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Since this is a chronic problem, the first issue that comes to my mind is insomnia. I know my husband suffered from it as a teenager and still does to an extent. So my question and comment is - have you had him checked by a physician? Perhaps there is something else keeping him awake at night besides just good tv (which of course we all know doesn't exist late at night unless you like infomercials, reruns, or numbers to singles hotlines.)
Talking to the doctor might lead to one of several possibilities:
1) Perhaps he needs a sleep study done to find out why he can't sleep. It could be a physical problem.
2) Perhaps he needs to consult a therapist instead to work out what might be bothering him to the point of not being able to sleep. I remember as a teenager (back in the late 80's...ahem...) constantly thinking that the world was going to implode any minute because of nuclear war or one of Nostradamas's prophecies. Teenagers are notorious worry-warts and there are more problems in the world now - or at least seem to be - than there were 20+ years ago thanks to our ever expanding, worldwide communications network.
3) Perhaps there really is nothing wrong with him and he is just a night owl (as was mentioned above).
4) Some alternative that I haven't thought of...
In any case, it might just ease your mind a bit.
Helpful Answer?
Talking to the doctor might lead to one of several possibilities:
1) Perhaps he needs a sleep study done to find out why he can't sleep. It could be a physical problem.
2) Perhaps he needs to consult a therapist instead to work out what might be bothering him to the point of not being able to sleep. I remember as a teenager (back in the late 80's...ahem...) constantly thinking that the world was going to implode any minute because of nuclear war or one of Nostradamas's prophecies. Teenagers are notorious worry-warts and there are more problems in the world now - or at least seem to be - than there were 20+ years ago thanks to our ever expanding, worldwide communications network.
3) Perhaps there really is nothing wrong with him and he is just a night owl (as was mentioned above).
4) Some alternative that I haven't thought of...
In any case, it might just ease your mind a bit.
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October 05, 2009 05:19 AM
I have wondered if this was a mental issue, with something going on with him and maybe he might need to see a counselor, but in every other way, he seems somewhat well-adjusted.
I know he's a night owl (as is his mother...LOL) but this falling asleep during the day stuff and waking up in the middle of the night to wander around the house while I'm sleeping has to stop!
Thanks for answering... gave me something to think about!
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I know he's a night owl (as is his mother...LOL) but this falling asleep during the day stuff and waking up in the middle of the night to wander around the house while I'm sleeping has to stop!
Thanks for answering... gave me something to think about!
October 04, 2009 12:53 AM
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Ask him if there is a reason that he would like to talk about to why he isn't going to sleep at night. You need to get down to the root of it. If it is simply because he wants to stay up a little longer then give him a little longer but that sure doesn't seem to be the case here. I'm guessing there is something going on that here video games, sadly porn, etc...I actually think that the answer is turning off the electronics.
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October 05, 2009 05:17 AM
I don't have a 'set' bedtime for him, but typically, I tell him I want him in bed before I go to sleep at night. I'm a late-night person, so this gives a lot of leeway. My rules have always been he could stay up as late as he wants as long as he gets up without a fuss the next day. That's not happening. I have already removed the electronics from him... it's not doing any good, it seems.
THanks for the answer!
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THanks for the answer!
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