I'd say you are starting in the wrong place. You need to get your husband to respect you, or move on. No one deserves to be disrespect especially by someone they love. Communicate with your husband about how he is making you feel and how is actions are coming off as disrespectful. if he doesn't change, I would recommend leaving him.

Leading by example is one of the best ways to teach a child. It will be very difficult to teach your children the right way to treat a parent if your husband is treating you incorrectly, as they will view this as the correct way to treat you. trying to teach them to treat you differently before dealing with the issue with your husband will only confuse your children and probably hurt their relationship with either you, or your spouse.

It will not be easy, but you have to keep trying and not give up. It is so important for your children to learn to respect you, and not just for your sake. If they don't learn to respect you, there is a good chance they will not respect their teacher's bosses, policemen, and so on.

If your children lack respect for you and you intend to get it back, there is a good chance that a power struggle will begin. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to re-establish respect? If not, you find that it is impossible to re-gain respect. When I say respect, i mean that you can demand that they treat you with outward respect. you cannot force them to FEEL genuine respect.

Whatever things you do for them or provide fro them, you can with-hold until they treat you with respect. For example, if a situation comes up concerning dinner, you can clear away the dinner plates, put the food away and tell them that you hope by the next meal they will have decided to treat you with respect.

For the sake of argument:
Let's say your husband is a jerk, too obtuse to realize the damage he may be doing to his family, or just downright apathetic, meaning, he just doesn't care. What does it say about that you stay with him, and that you feel like reaching out to strangers to validate your husband's shortcomings so you can find a way to "teach" respect to you kids? In other words, how is your self-respect? Yes, I know this may sound harsh, but get past that, and answer your own question. WHat is it that you see as disrespectful? What exactly is it you would consider respect? Are you absolutely clear on what you really want out this situation? Your question is short on details.
Whatever you decide, may God bless you.
Jose Pineda
http://josepineda.net

A parent is a child's greatest teacher. Your child watches every move both you and your husband make and they repeat it. Not only is your husband's lack of respect for you teaching your son to not respect women, your willingness to tolerate the abuse tells him that women are not deserving of respect. A daughter witnessing this type of relationship is sure to go out and find a situation just like this because she thinks this is how life works.

I was raised in an abusive home. My father was a drug user and treated his family very badly. Although the abuse in our home stretched beyond seeing our mother abused, do you know what I remember the most? I remember how badly she was treated and how weak she must have been to have tolerated being talked down to as she did. While I didn't go out and become victim to falling in love with someone very much like my father, my sister did.

I know firsthand how this affects children. As a child who has seen it and as a mother now, I beg you to stand up for yourself. Teach your children it is NOT ok to be abused - physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. This is the greatest lesson you'll ever teach your sons and daughters. If you allow this to go on the psychological damage will sit as blame on not only on your husband's shoulders, but equally on yours.

Be the parent your children need and protect them. When you became a mother your role in life instantly became to protect and guide your child. With each move, it is your job to question, "How will my decisions and parenting make my child a successful, healthy, independent, balanced and happy adult?"

Children Learn What They Live (1998)

by Dorothy Law Nolte (1924 - 2005)

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Excerpted from the book CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE
©1998 by Dorothy Law Nolte and Rachel Harris
The poem "Children Learn What They Live"
©Dorothy Law Nolte

My husband does not respect me at all! Our 22 years old son.is exactly the same and now my older son who's
40 years old and has no job is back home leaving with us. at the begining he was kind of ok, but now he just
behave in the same way that his dad and brother do. I have to make their beds, pick up their clothes that they
just leaved all over the place. My sons have a dog each and this is me who have to take care of their dogs! It is
me who cleans the floor when the dogs mess up. I just clean and clean and clean! I feel I don't have time at all
for me. They just don't care. Please help me, what can I do to stop the madness. My friends tell me I'm a maniac
with all this cleaning, but is as if I just can not stop. I feel so terrible, so so tired...