Ouch. Tough situation. I think it depends upon how well you know this personal. Ideally, you know them well enough to sit them down and say "I know it's really scary, but I think you need to get a second opinion from the pediatrician (or tutor, etc), because if there is a problem, the sooner it's addressed, the better your child will be. There's nothing bad about kids with learning disabilities, but if they get help, they are so much happier and more successful in school."

Kids who fall behind, and stay behind, may grow to feel stupid and inferior. That leads to all kids of problems, from dropping out to self harm. If the kid is always told "there's nothing wrong with you" but they always see themselves failing, they may eventually feel like nothing can be done to help them. If they instead got told "well, you learn a little differently from everyone else" and then they were helped to learn, they may just think of themselves as unique and still try to conquer ambitious goals with the help of the adults around them. Learning disabilities don't go away, and they are a much bigger problem when ignored.

If you friend tells you you don't know what you're talking about, and that it's just a terrible school, etc., etc., try to get some information from adults who had learning disabilities as children, to show her. Maybe if she can hear from adults what it was like, and how they're doing now, she'll feel calmer about it, and lend more credibility to the idea. There's a reason they give addicts check-lists of behaviors that add up to addiction: each problem little Johnny has can be brushed off on its own ("oh, his math teacher is just stupid," "well, if they didn't sit him at the back of the class, he would definitely get science") but when you see it as a whole, from someone who knows what it's like, I think it's harder to dismiss. And if she can see that kids with learning disabilities can grow up to be successful adults, she may have less fear about getting that second opinion.

I hope whatever happens, you can be supportive of her child. S/he may reach an age where even s/he understands that a learning disability is present, and becomes his/her own advocate. At that time, a trusted adult to help talk to mom will be a valuable asset.

You don't. Even as a close friend, it is inappropriate and not your place to tell this mother that her child might have a disability. Also, not all kids have a disability if they are showing no interest or being disruptive in class. My brother did both of these things, the school told my mom he was slow;when they tested him......he had to advance two grades!!!! All children learn different, some learn visually and others are more audible learners.

So, if you cherish this friendship....you would mind your manners.

Good luck :)

You don't. They will find out on their own. It will only hurt your relationship with the parents.

Of course it depends on the strength of your relationship. If you think the mother would be insulted and it would ruin your relationship then don't say anything other than suggest she should have her child 'officially' tested for learning disabilities.

If the relationship can handle it, tell her what you think is going on with her son. The reason I say this is because my nephew has had a speech problem his entire life and he is nine years old. It has been ignored by his dentist, his teachers, his doctors (until recently), all the usual safeguards that catch on to what's going on.

He couldn't even say his own name which begins with an L until he was about five. His life has been seriously impacted by this. He doesn't like to talk to people and is very shy. Had it been caught when he first began talking and fixed (tongue clipped) I believe he would be a different child.

I told his parents my opinion but they continued to believe if there was a problem, the 'system' would catch it. They even spent tons of money testing him for learning disabilities.....the tied tongue wasn't even caught by that doctor.

My point is, if you think you can help the child by giving your friend your opinion, then do it. What that child is going through struggling through school and not being capable of understanding why, is reason enough to speak up.