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How far should I go in monitoring my children's internet use? Is it a question of safety vs privacy?
I've heard of keystroke loggers, and I know some parents who only allow internet usage in an open area of the home, not behind closed bedroom doors. Has the advent of internet connectivity via cell phone changed parental monitoring? What can I do to protect my kids, and are there privacy issues to consider (not legal privacy, just moral. ethical). Basically, can you give me advice on good parenting regarding internet monitoring.
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October 07, 2009 01:54 PM
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To preface, I've thought a lot about this. I was responsible for securing Internet access for a K to 12 school across two campuses. Parents would regularly ask me what they could do at home.
The solution is really quite simple:
1)
Only allow Internet access in a public area of your home. The kitchen is a good place for many folks. When kids are consciously aware that someone may see what they're doing on a computer, their surfing immediately becomes less troublesome.
2)
Use OpenDNS. This will help stop accidental surfing. OpenDNS has a large, constantly evolving blacklist of sites such as gambling, porn, violence, etc. You get to pick and choose which categories to limit down.
One of the best features of OpenDNS is the logging. If for some reason you don't want to limit internet access to a public area, OpenDNS can store a complete log of where people surfed. Print this list out once a week and stick it on the fridge for everyone to see. You'll be amazed at how much of a deterrent this is.
3)
Don't spy on your children.
No matter what sort of protection you think you're providing, if you spy on your kids, they'll have trouble trusting you. Kids are incredibly smart and resourceful. There is a workaround / hack for EVERYTHING. Just like kids use to sneak playboy magazines into forts with their friends, curiosity will prevail. The biggest difference is of course that today, kids do need to be protected from some of the evils that exist online.
The best thing that you can do (and this takes a lot of work) is to prevent accidental browsing and build a loving, trusting relationship with your kids. Do these two things and your kids won't just be safe online, but they'll be better people.
The solution is really quite simple:
1)
Only allow Internet access in a public area of your home. The kitchen is a good place for many folks. When kids are consciously aware that someone may see what they're doing on a computer, their surfing immediately becomes less troublesome.
2)
Use OpenDNS. This will help stop accidental surfing. OpenDNS has a large, constantly evolving blacklist of sites such as gambling, porn, violence, etc. You get to pick and choose which categories to limit down.
One of the best features of OpenDNS is the logging. If for some reason you don't want to limit internet access to a public area, OpenDNS can store a complete log of where people surfed. Print this list out once a week and stick it on the fridge for everyone to see. You'll be amazed at how much of a deterrent this is.
3)
Don't spy on your children.
No matter what sort of protection you think you're providing, if you spy on your kids, they'll have trouble trusting you. Kids are incredibly smart and resourceful. There is a workaround / hack for EVERYTHING. Just like kids use to sneak playboy magazines into forts with their friends, curiosity will prevail. The biggest difference is of course that today, kids do need to be protected from some of the evils that exist online.
The best thing that you can do (and this takes a lot of work) is to prevent accidental browsing and build a loving, trusting relationship with your kids. Do these two things and your kids won't just be safe online, but they'll be better people.
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October 07, 2009 01:35 PM
http://hubpages.com/hub/Cell-Phone-Parental-Control
http://www.ask.com/bar?q=Child+crimes+from+children+using+the+internet&...
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Hello,
It has made it somewhat more difficult but that is changing. Cell phone companies recognize the high potential for child internet crimes and have something in place for parental control. For example Verizone has a package that is offered free of charge to assist with protecting you child from predators.
Does parental controls stop this type of activity? It will certainly lower the chances of your child from being exposed to this type of activity. As parents, we have the responsibility of doing everything we can to protect our children the best way possible and using parental controls for internet through the use of cell phones is a great tool.
One site that can really open your eyes to child related crimes is: http://www.ask.com/bar?q=Child+crimes+from+children+using+the+internet&page=1&qsrc=2417&ab=3&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sentrypc.com%2Fstatistics.htm
The above site gives statistics that helps to see why parental controls is important.
I hope this helps.
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It has made it somewhat more difficult but that is changing. Cell phone companies recognize the high potential for child internet crimes and have something in place for parental control. For example Verizone has a package that is offered free of charge to assist with protecting you child from predators.
Does parental controls stop this type of activity? It will certainly lower the chances of your child from being exposed to this type of activity. As parents, we have the responsibility of doing everything we can to protect our children the best way possible and using parental controls for internet through the use of cell phones is a great tool.
One site that can really open your eyes to child related crimes is: http://www.ask.com/bar?q=Child+crimes+from+children+using+the+internet&page=1&qsrc=2417&ab=3&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sentrypc.com%2Fstatistics.htm
The above site gives statistics that helps to see why parental controls is important.
I hope this helps.
http://hubpages.com/hub/Cell-Phone-Parental-Control
http://www.ask.com/bar?q=Child+crimes+from+children+using+the+internet&...
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October 07, 2009 03:53 PM
Experience raising 3 teenagers. Helpful Answer? (0)
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To quote an old Republican, "Trust, but verify". Install keystroke monitoring software, and require your children to give you their passwords to email and social networking sites. You wouldn't let them put a lock on their bedroom doors without giving you the combination, and this is the same thing.
That said, just like you wouldn't snoop through their drawers to satisfy your curiousity, don't violate their privacy with technology either. If you have concerns about their safety, though, don't hesitate to access their accounts to see what's going on. They can certainly establish other accounts, though-- so don't be lulled into a false sense of security if you don't find anything.
Keeping the computer in a public space and talking to your kids about your expectations will also help to keep them out of trouble.
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That said, just like you wouldn't snoop through their drawers to satisfy your curiousity, don't violate their privacy with technology either. If you have concerns about their safety, though, don't hesitate to access their accounts to see what's going on. They can certainly establish other accounts, though-- so don't be lulled into a false sense of security if you don't find anything.
Keeping the computer in a public space and talking to your kids about your expectations will also help to keep them out of trouble.
Experience raising 3 teenagers. Helpful Answer?
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October 07, 2009 06:58 PM
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Now I'm not a parent, I'm 20. However when I was 12-16 I lived on the internet and honestly I wish my parents had monitored me alot more then they did. The internet seems to be getting worse and worse every day and it's terrifying in many ways. I don't feel that when you have a child living under your roof, where you pay the bills, that you don't have the right to know what is going on on a computer you most likely purchased. I'm not saying go through all their pictures and read all their saved documents but checking the internet cookies, seeing what websites are logged is not a bad idea. It's scary to think that any child can get sucked into some nasty internet scam but wouldn't you rather be safe and make sure it's not your child? Would you feel more at ease knowing that you are proactive about making sure your child is being safe online? Once they hit a certain age and they are trust worthy then maybe it won't be such a problem, but I know I did a lot of things I shouldn't have when I was younger, and I know for a fact over half of my grade in school alone did the same. You brought these children into this world, there is nothing wrong with going to whatever lengths you have to to protect them.
It's not websites and quotes with great helpful techniques but the internet safety is a big concern of mine and my opinion has helped a few before so I'm always trying to state my views.
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It's not websites and quotes with great helpful techniques but the internet safety is a big concern of mine and my opinion has helped a few before so I'm always trying to state my views.
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October 07, 2009 11:03 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVyNzjtxQOo
www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10912603 Helpful Answer? (0)
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Go as far you need for peace of mind.
One extreme is to watch To Catch a Predator to remind you the danger is real.
The other is the issue of trust and empowering your children to make the right decision.
To allay all fears, I suggest getting rid of all electric devices such as the TV, Internet and cell phone.
Humans existed fine without these so called necessities for thousands of years.
Take a tip from Marcia Brady!
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One extreme is to watch To Catch a Predator to remind you the danger is real.
The other is the issue of trust and empowering your children to make the right decision.
To allay all fears, I suggest getting rid of all electric devices such as the TV, Internet and cell phone.
Humans existed fine without these so called necessities for thousands of years.
Take a tip from Marcia Brady!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVyNzjtxQOo
www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10912603 Helpful Answer?
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psionandy
The other thing is that if you do print the list out then you're just as accountable as your kids. You aren't picking on them as your held to the same standard as they are. Keeping the monitoring open is the key to getting it accepted.
ewpldf
I am nominating this answer for the Answer of the Day Contest for October 8th
I think this is the perfect solution. It ensures that parents are likely to spend more time with children rather than everyone doing their own thing in secluded parts of the house. OpenDNS is also very helpful, and printing out access logs will prepare them for what employers may do when they get old enough to have jobs.
Most importantly, I really appreciate and agree with the last answer about not stealthily spying on kids. Unless you are a remarkably skilled IT professional, your kids will eventually discover and defeat virtually any technological solution you come up with. If you let them have access in their rooms and relay on key loggers, parental controls and other technology, you are challenging them to a battle of wits. As a kid, if I had discovered any sneaky spyware/defenses, my new mission in life would have been defeating them. Few technology activities are as much fun as hacking around obstacles.
If parents set a precedence that sneaky surveillance is OK, the child will consider sneaky countermeasures to be a morally acceptable and immensely satisfying. Few parents (if any) are tech savvy enough to build technical barriers that can withstand the combined intellect of their children, their children's friends AND the knowledge of the entire internet.
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