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How many children is too many children?

For the sake of this question, let's assume that we're talking about a married couple in a stable, relatively happy marriage leading a relatively stable middle class American lifestyle, and they both want kids.

How many kids is too many? At what point to do you cringe and think, yikes, why would they do that?
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pazaq
pazaq
Marked as Best! September 30, 2009 08:56 PM
I actually think the number is kind of complex issue. It has more to do with time and means than it does some exact number. I know you said were going for a married couple but lets just kind of chart it out a bit.

1 kid for a single parent that works has got to be a handful right off the bat, if they have no other support system. See even here it's all about means. Let say your culture includes having the extended family in house. Then you might be able to support, teach, and nurture quite a few more kids even being a single parent.

My wife and I would love to have one more but at 2 were pretty much at our comfort level and I'll bet we fit right in the middle of your middle class example. Both of our parents are too far away to serve as babysitters so were really on our own.

The flip side of that is a family that has one pair of grand parents in the house and still making an average of a middle class income probably could support 3 or maybe in 4 quite easily.

As for yikes? I think the octomom should have her kids taken away as there is no way a low incoming single person can support 14 kids. They don't even let daycares have 14 to 1 ratios.

Age and spread matter a lot also. I know of a fella who has at last count 8 kids I believe; however, they all have about 2 years between them. At this point the oldest kids end up being helpers for the younger ones. It's not a way I'd like to live but I don't cringe either as I know the kids are well taken care of.

I guess if pushed I'd say about 4. When I see 4 or more tightly spaced kids I always wonder how anyone copes.

Good Question! Good Luck!
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maadhu
maadhu
September 29, 2009 05:19 PM
With One child Parents become happiest.
With two children parents are happier.
More the number increase, parents cringe and think because of more responsibilities or burden. ( a sweet burden).
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stanar
stanar
September 29, 2009 06:27 PM
We also need to consider the impact due to the world population growth. So we should limit to just 2 kids per household to optimally manage the resources of the planet (extraterrestrial human settlement is a long shot).
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cmajaski
cmajaski
September 29, 2009 05:34 PM
I've always wished I had a ton of children. Just seems like big families are fun but I think you should only have enough children that you can provide for and give the adequate attention and care for.

That's why I only have one ;)
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cheapgamer
cheapgamer
September 29, 2009 05:36 PM
I am not sure that there is a right or wrong answer here as it depends on what kind of person you are.

I am the kind of person that needs to have some space from people and lots of personal/quiet time. One child is too many for me.

One of my friends wants three or four children, she is very outgoing and craves constant interaction with people. This may be her ideal.

From a parenting standpoint it is important to consider your own wants and needs as well as those of the children. My friend above admits she may need the help of a Nanny from time to time to help keep up with all the kids ^_^
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albanian
albanian
September 29, 2009 06:42 PM
Normally three is too many. There are only two parents. If the next generation is 50% bigger, that would be a disaster. The math is actually much more complicated than that, but over the very long run it's a good approximation to say that two is the correct number of children. Right now one or even zero is better as the Earth is overpopulated beyond a sustainable number of people.
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psynopsis
psynopsis
September 29, 2009 08:26 PM
I think more than 3 is too much. I grew up in a family of 5, the two parents and three kids. I really only wanted just ONE sibling because the food ran out fast, there was barely enough space for ME. I had to share a room. When we went out shopping or outside, I felt like there was a lot of us. It embarrassed me that we were so many, because most other families had one kid or were still just a couple.

Having more than 3 or just 3 kids is a real burden on not juts the parents but also the kids. I plan to have ONLY 2 kids, I learned my lesson.
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moonshadow
moonshadow
September 29, 2009 09:51 PM
One more than you can afford.

Parents need to be better about giv ing birth only to children they can afford to support and care for. While the Duggars may have 18 children, they can afford it. I don't necessarily agree with their choices, but as long as they are capable of feeding, clothing and providing medical care for their children, the choice is theirs.
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psionandy
psionandy
September 29, 2009 09:57 PM
I'm really glad that under no circumstances is my opinion on this ever going to count as law... Of course it depends on the couple, their ages, their family background, their children, jobs, resources, house, car and all of that stuff which I'm about to ignore for the purposes of answering this question.

When it gets to 3, my eyebrow will be raised slightly... at 4 it will be right up and I'd feel obliged to make some lame joke that they must have heard a million times before "4 kids hey... I bet they keep you busy"

Any more than that and i'm too busy admiring their ability to still be able to think, speak or even be vaguely sane as I know I wouldn't be
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trinifigue...
trinifigue...
September 29, 2009 11:55 PM
Three children is too many for me. When you have one kid, you can go with him almost everywhere without having any trouble. When you have two kids, you hold one with one hand and the other one with your other hand. When you have three small kids like me, things get really difficult because you do not have a third hand for the third kid. It gets even more difficult, if the two youngest ones are twins and all of them are between the ages of three and six years old.
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jkepler
jkepler
September 30, 2009 03:58 AM
Once you have more than three you are using all three rows in the minivan. I'd say two is enough for most people. Four or five can get kind of extreme, but I've seen it work when the kids are each spaced a few years apart because the older ones end up caring for the younger ones.

Of course, someone like Donald Trump is also an exception because he has literally spread his kids over three different decades!
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romeo0830
romeo0830
September 30, 2009 08:57 AM
i think any amount of kids is fine if you can handle it, a big family is always nice, but you must be wealthy and be able to have time for each. I think 5 or more it will get tough without any help.

Thanks Mike !
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