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How should you go about getting a 4-yr-old to stop being overdramatic?

My friend's 4-year-old has started being over dramatic in her responses to being told "no." For example, if she is told that she cannot watch a movie at that particular moment, she will storm off saying, "Fine, I'll never watch another movie ever again." Or if she is told that she can't eat something right at that particular moment (because it's too close to dinner time), she'll storm off saying, "Fine then, I'll just go hungry!"

How do you overcome this over dramatic attitude and get it to stop? (Consider that this is similar to her grandmother's over-dramatic reactions when anyone disagrees with her. Could the 4-year-old be picking up this bad attitude from her grandmother?)
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Marked as Best! October 27, 2009 11:03 AM
She may be copying grandma's behavior to see how it works for her. If it gets grandma attention or her own way, then sure she's going to try it! My 7yo granddaughter is still the queen of melodrama, overindulged as the baby of the family (until last year when her daddy gave her a half-sister), and I've found the best way to deal with these episodes is to basically ignore them. If they don't get the desired attention or results, then they'll find another way that works. My granddaughter will wheedle and whine to get what she wants from her mom, but she knows Grandma Jill don't play that game! Let her stomp off and make empty threats, and either pretend you don't hear her, or if she demands a response say something non-committal, like "I'm sorry you feel that way, but the answer is still no." Draw the line consistently and kids will learn not to step over it. And try to set a good example for her by your own behavior, the best way to teach children appropriate manners.
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October 26, 2009 10:32 PM
I don't have an answer based off a source, justy a personal method that worked on me, my mother and her siblings, and many friends and their children...

If they want to whine, you whine too show them how they are acting. It seems 90% of the time they will stop and look at you like you're crazy...My mom said it took me 3 weeks and my drama stopped...until I became a teen :) but that's a whole nother type of drama.

Good luck!
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October 27, 2009 01:43 AM
What I would do is ignore her when she says things like that. She could be getting that attitude from something she's seen on TV. More than likely it's just a phase she's going through.

If you draw attention to it by trying to make her stop it might add to the drama.

That's based on my experiences with my five year old daughter.
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October 27, 2009 03:39 AM
Getting a 4-year-old not to be overdramatic? Well... good luck!

Honestly, I don't know your particular situation, but I wouldn't worry too much about it. "It's just a phase" is a bit of a cliche, but in this case, it probably is. Kids that young don't know what going hungry entails, or how many years "never watching another movie again" would come out to. And when they start getting truly hungry or bored, they'll probably be very happy to go back on that promise without even thinking about it! If you make a scene about it, it'll just reinforce it for your child that doing overdramatic stuff like this is a good way to get attention.

That said, if your child truly isn't eating, or there's a similar situation, then it's time to step in.
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October 27, 2009 06:19 PM
Ignore it to show the kid that whining doesn't get him anywhere. Kids will try anything to get their way. It's up to the adults to be the adult in the matter and not give into the tactics.

Sounds like there has been an awful lot of enabling going on in the house. If the parent doesn't nip this behavior in the bud soon, it will only get worse. The parent needs to stand his or her ground and dont' give in. If the kid storms off, ignore her. If she says she's going to go hungry, let her. She WILL come around. I promise you. The only reason she's engaging in that behavior is because she has found it to work in her favor in the past. Don't let it work. Don't let her have her way. If she refuses to eat dinner, play along and tell her it's in the fridge when she's ready. Don't worry. She WILL eat. She will NOT starve. You will see results as early as the next day. The parent must, howver, NOT give in and NOT coddle the child or show any signs of weakness or that they may be getting ready to give in. Stand firm and act as if you don't care if she ever eats again. She may, however, try sneaking after that to get her way since the old way isn't working anymore, so watch out for that.
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