I REMOVE HIM!

We once were in the line to buy tickets at an amusement park and he flipped out for one reason or another.

Yes, I LEFT with him screaming and crying.

I also left full grocery carts.

I remove him.

I will ask sternly that s/he stops or I will punish him later. If s/he continues to do so, I'll walk away from him (while secretly keep an eye on him). One thing I will never do is to relent. It rewards his/her bad behavior and will likely do it again in the future.

Next time, I will not take him out again for a long period of time as a punishment. If he throws tantrum at home, I'll just lock him / her in his/her bedroom until s/he calms down.

I'm a reasoner.. and my son even at barely past one surprisingly usually responds whether its from just me talking to him so intently or that he understands I have no idea.

But step 1: I stop walking, put my face level with his and look him dead in those pretty blue eyeballs and simply say, Stop. Mom and these other people don't want to hear you cry. It makes them sad. We're almost done and then we'll go home and watch cartoons/read a book/play, etc.

For an older child I'd probably update what was said for a slightly hirer maturity level but.. 8/10 times this works with even my young son.

Second: Distraction.. I don't shop often I hate the store for me going back would suck.. so I admit I often try to distract him. I give him my car keys or my wallet. I also often carry snacks in my coat. For an older child that likely wouldn't work and I don't recommend buying something to bribe a child so this step would be skipped with an older kid.

Last I just leave as others here have stated. Set the cart aside.. go to the car.. take him home to my husband and come back alone.

My child is not quite 2 yet - so I have the tantrums starting when she doesn't get her way. I have to say that in public she is very good and has only had a melt down when she was really tired, and in her defense, I really should not have had her out. I can't get mad at her for doing stuff when I know how she will react and she does.

When she does throw tantrums though, I do something similar to unwirklich in that I get down on her level and ask her questions in a calm voice. I ask her what is the matter or I ask her to show me what she needs that is making her get so upset. And then when she is calm I redirect her as well. This works almost all of the time.

If I could not calm her down, then I would do like rondata and remove her from the place. I have on a few occasions had to take her out of a restaurant and walk her around until she settled down or just have my husband get the food boxed to go and pay.

We'll see how this all works out as she grows but I dislike yelling. I grew up in a household with lots and lots of yelling and verbal abuse, and I will not subject my child to what I had to go through.

I work in retail and I can tell you how many people deal with it - they let the kid get their way. It is replusive to see parents being manipulated by kids in this way.

My child (now 15) NEVER acted this way. It starts with small tantrums when they are younger - if the parent caves in to the childs actions the kid learns to do this every time, and always will.. I have seen kids as old as 12 throw tantrums and even had a 22ish adult girl come in with her mom and her snotty behavior was clearly a tantrum - and her older mom gave in - it was embarassing to watch..

anyhow if my kid did it.. they would only do it once, because they would NOT get their way. If the tantrum was because they wanted something I wouldnt buy them - I would remove them to the car.. BUT if the tantrum was because they were bored , I would just let them make a fool of themself and ignore them until I was done shopping. And yes, a spanking would fall into place eventually if they continued, but really I wouldnt have raised my child to act in this way to begin with.

I found that this behavior is learned. The child learns that it bothers/embarrasses the parent and when the behavior persists, its because the parent will react and try to stop the behavior- usually in a way they wouldn't do at home.... like coaxing the child.

I never react in that way- usually not at all. But, all children kinda try this at some point. If they continue testing the waters, I find a restroom, get down on my knees so I am at its level and we have a "little talk" (I saw this suggestion on SuperNanny Reality Show) or we leave immediately- everytime. Once they realize that the behavior will not get them what they desire, they stop using it as leverage.

When mine were little and I was still with my ex-husband one of us would take the child out to the car. Without an audience the child usually stopped, so thankfully the eruptions were few and far between.