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I miss my kids who graduated college. Is it OK for me to move closer to where they live and pretend it's because I got a job there?

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6 answerers thought this was unfair.

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September 17, 2009 11:06 PM
You shouldn't have to pretend.

Talk to your kids honestly and openly.

Just stay out of their hair and only visit when invited. Talk to your kids. Set some ground rules - write them on paper.
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September 17, 2009 11:17 PM
Nothing wrong with moving closer to them, but i'd just tell them the real reason. I'd think they'd be happy that you care enough to want to be closer. Makes visiting them and them visiting you so much easier.
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September 18, 2009 09:09 PM
I don't think that you need to lie to your children. I am sure that they love you very much and would be happy to know that you want to be closer to them. I know that if it were me and my parents wanted to move closer I would be very happy to have them. I think that it is very sweet that you want to be with your children. However having said that, I think that if you lie and tell them it is because of a job, they might find out and that could have serious implications on their trust of you. I think that honesty is the best policy.
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September 19, 2009 12:35 AM
You're free to move where-ever you'd like. But it would be great if you could just tell them you want to be closer. One day they'll be glad that you cared enough to do so. Life is short.
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September 20, 2009 04:32 AM
That is the sweetest thing! Made me laugh, becuase i can imagine my parents coming up with that!
If you want to be closer, be closer, if they can handle the truth, tell them, or if you don't then that's okay too (but it would be a funny story to tell over dinner a few years down the line once you've done it and had been living there awhile).
Go for it! If you want to do it, do it.
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September 24, 2009 07:03 AM
I think it is very wonderful that you actually want to move closer to them! Usually (and in my case), it's the other way around! The parents want the kids to move closer to home! Kudos to you!

I say move! I would be out of my mind, crazy happy if my parents wanted to move closer to me! Call them and talk to them. Tell them what you want to do and be honest! They are adults now so lying to them doesn't do anybody any good. Be respectful and mindful that they are still shaping their own lives. Make sure they know that you won't constantly visiting all the time (and make sure you can handle not seeing them all the time, too; also know that the most important thing is that you are nearby and accessible and not there to impose).

By all means, though, GO! If nothing else, you can just tell them that you are an adult too and you decided that where they are is where you want to be. Period. You're the mama and you're going to move just because you said so! :D

I think it's great that you have the option and the ability to move near all of your children! I'm the only one of 3 kids that has run off across the country (so far) and my mother bugs me all the time about coming back home!

Good luck to you! Take care!
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