Answered Conundrum Next Conundrum

keepontryi... keepontry...

If you were promised anonymity as a birth parent 25 years ago, would you now expect open records legislation to include a disclosure veto?

In spite of open records advocates' claim that very few birth parents actually desire privacy, 2,500 individuals in Ontario (both adoptees and birth parents) signed disclosure vetoes in the first few weeks of open adoption legislation in June of this year. In fact, the legislation was delayed by opposition challenging the omission of just such a protection. Would you expect to be able to sign a disclosure veto or "let the chips fall where they may"?

http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/34172
http://www.mcf.gov.bc.ca/adoption/info_birth.htm
Interesting Question? Yes (0) No (0)
RSS

Best Answer Chosen by Asker

cmajaski
cmajaski
Marked as Best! October 13, 2009 11:41 PM
I believe the birthparent should be allowed to remain anonymous if that was the original agreement.

But, as an adoptee I do believe that it should be a human right to be able to find out who gave birth to you. I can think of many reasons an adopted child would not want to be contacted by the birthparent, but I can't think of any reasons a birthparent would make it impossible for the child.

Adoptees for the most part are not looking to harm the birthparent, ask them for money or ruin their lives. Usually they just want answers to questions that no one else can provide, could be as simple as who do I look like.
Asker's Rating:
• Thanks for your answer. I actually spoke to a woman not long ago who was tron between adoption and abortion, and chose adoption on the condition that she never be contacted again. Otherwise, she was going to choose abortion. She made it clear that the circumstances of her pregnancy were unpleasant to the extreme. I doubt there are too many like her out there, but it made me stop and think.
Helpful Answer? (1)   (0)
Permalink | Report
Reply

Other Answers (3)
Sort By

unwirklich
unwirklich
October 13, 2009 06:34 PM
I think as a parent whether you gave the child up or not the responsibility is still there. If that child wants to find out where they came from they have every right whether it's hard for you or not. Records should be closed on the request of the adopted only.
Helpful Answer? (0)   (0)
Permalink | Report
Reply
twinpairs
twinpairs
October 13, 2009 09:27 PM
If you were promised anonymity you should remain anonymous. I don't think you should have to sign a disclosure veto either. I can see parents given the option to change their minds and sign a disclosure agreement, however, the original agreement should be enforced until the parent changes their mind. When a parent gives up their child they not only give up all rights associated with that child they give up all responsibilities.
Helpful Answer? (0)   (0)
Permalink | Report
Reply
drivel
drivel
October 14, 2009 09:50 AM
I don't think the government and most people realize how troublesome the whole topic of adoption is.

It is not only the issue of the adoptee finding out the identity of their birth parents. Another issue is the circumstances surrounding the way and why the adoption occurred may often be very unpleasant.

A year ago I was contacted by someone who was saying some things about my family which I thought was total nonsense. I called my father and asked him did he know this person and what was she talking about? He said that he does know her and what she was saying was true. Our family had an OMG moment about something my parents had decided to never talk about for 40 years. It was a very unpleasant story.

People often do not live like Ozzie and Harriet and looking into an adoption may be opening a can of worms.
Helpful Answer? (0)   (0)
Permalink | Report
Reply

Answer this Question


View All Parenting Questions

Ask a Conundrum


140 characters left

Categories

Large Glass of Conundrum Wine

Welcome to ConundrumLand

Please enter your zip code.