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October 12, 2009 02:02 AM
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Under special circumstances, yes, if you suspect there is something really wrong. Even psychologist has the right and obligation to tell law enforcement if they suspect their clients might harm others or themselves.
To be justified to breach their privacy, you must have observed a terrible change in their behavior previously, for example: crying all the time, looking extremely haggard and worn out, dangerous behavior, etc.
That said, before you take this step, consider milder step. Try to communicate with them and ask them what is wrong. Be open, supportive, and warm. Be ready to accept even the worse news and still support your kids (getting pregnant, using drugs, got involved in crime, etc). If you are warm, supportive parents, you don’t have to breach their privacy to find out what’s going on in their life. After all, a breach of privacy is a break of trust.
If you’ve read your children’s diaries and you found out something very wrong (and no, liking “porn” is not something “very wrong” for a teenager), consider how you want to discuss the issue with them. Be very careful. Contact a professional if you are not sure what to do.
I agree with eros for public entries in online journal. It is for all to see anyway. But don’t make a fuss about the content and humiliate your children by your comments. If you have issues about their contents, talk to them privately. If they are angry, just point out it’s public, means everyone can read them.
To be justified to breach their privacy, you must have observed a terrible change in their behavior previously, for example: crying all the time, looking extremely haggard and worn out, dangerous behavior, etc.
That said, before you take this step, consider milder step. Try to communicate with them and ask them what is wrong. Be open, supportive, and warm. Be ready to accept even the worse news and still support your kids (getting pregnant, using drugs, got involved in crime, etc). If you are warm, supportive parents, you don’t have to breach their privacy to find out what’s going on in their life. After all, a breach of privacy is a break of trust.
If you’ve read your children’s diaries and you found out something very wrong (and no, liking “porn” is not something “very wrong” for a teenager), consider how you want to discuss the issue with them. Be very careful. Contact a professional if you are not sure what to do.
I agree with eros for public entries in online journal. It is for all to see anyway. But don’t make a fuss about the content and humiliate your children by your comments. If you have issues about their contents, talk to them privately. If they are angry, just point out it’s public, means everyone can read them.
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October 12, 2009 12:10 AM
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Absolutely, there are appropriate circumstances under which its ok to read their diary. Not for prurient curiosity-- but if you have any concerns about dangerous behavior, as a parent you should use all tools at your disposal to figure out what's going on.
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October 12, 2009 01:38 AM
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I don't believe it's appropriate; there's a certain limit a child has to privacy - a paper-and-ink diary is a no-no (unless you have substantial proof to be concerned about him/her). But if it's an online journal, it doesn't matter; it's open to the world, which includes you.
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October 12, 2009 03:25 AM
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Oprah's magazine next month will have an article from the mother of one of the Columbine shooters. He left early for school on the day of the shootings, she said. His last words to her were a brisk, "Bye," as he ran out the door.
She never knew how deeply troubled he really was. She never knew he was depressed and suicidal.
He wrote it all down in his diary. She didn't read it until after he and his friend killed 12 people, wounded 21, and then committed suicide.
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She never knew how deeply troubled he really was. She never knew he was depressed and suicidal.
He wrote it all down in his diary. She didn't read it until after he and his friend killed 12 people, wounded 21, and then committed suicide.
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October 12, 2009 03:32 AM
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I suppose that it would be a problem if a child has done such things (mentioned by fabilaux) - but in certain cases, a child does NOT want help; they don't WANT to be noticed, and they WANT to be left alone - and in some cases, trying to help them can cause them to lash out even more and be more dangerous and irrational. What would you do then ?
I suppose it's all a case-by-case situation. There is no one "true" answer, in my opinion.
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I suppose it's all a case-by-case situation. There is no one "true" answer, in my opinion.
October 12, 2009 04:12 AM
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Absolutely not.
If your child is in danger, you should address them about it not snoop around like some 5 year little brother looking for dirty secrets.
As someone who has always kept a journal and does have kids I can say that journals are personal, and they are no ones business but your own. I used mine as a vent for my anger and my frustration.. had I known my parents may have read it I would have never written and I would have bottled some very dangerous emotions. Also because journals are personal they can be easily misinterpreted.
If you want your child's trust and to legitimately help them you will establish a relationship that fosters such conditions, violating privacy does not do that.
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If your child is in danger, you should address them about it not snoop around like some 5 year little brother looking for dirty secrets.
As someone who has always kept a journal and does have kids I can say that journals are personal, and they are no ones business but your own. I used mine as a vent for my anger and my frustration.. had I known my parents may have read it I would have never written and I would have bottled some very dangerous emotions. Also because journals are personal they can be easily misinterpreted.
If you want your child's trust and to legitimately help them you will establish a relationship that fosters such conditions, violating privacy does not do that.
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October 12, 2009 08:19 PM
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The only time that I can conceivably think of when this would be acceptable is when your child may be in danger and they're not able to give consent for their diary.
If they've gone missing, or have taken an overdose of something. In this awful situation normal rules of privacy don't apply as there is an immediate danger.
Otherwise I can't think of when I'd be justified in doing it under normal circumstances. If I want information I'll just have to ask about it.
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If they've gone missing, or have taken an overdose of something. In this awful situation normal rules of privacy don't apply as there is an immediate danger.
Otherwise I can't think of when I'd be justified in doing it under normal circumstances. If I want information I'll just have to ask about it.
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