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Is spanking ever an appropriate means of disciplining an unruly child?
As a child, my brothers, sisters and I received the occasional, and in hindsight, well deserved spanking. As I said it was rare, and from my memory when it happened it was because we were just really driving our poor mom over the edge. For those who are parents, I am curious about your answer to the above question.
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October 12, 2009 04:01 AM
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I agree spanking does induce fear and that's the idea. Anyone who has raised children can tell you, sometimes they need to be frightened, they need to be shown who is in charge and that it is not currently them.
I don't think spanking should be a primary means of discipline. I also don't think it should be done without an explanation. Used properly however spanking is the only thing that works with some kids. To better explain some examples..
Your kid refuses to pick up his toys. While annoying this is a minor thing, spanking is by no means necessary.
Your kid lights a couch on fire in the living room( I have seen it done). This is dangerous both to itself, your family and your home it should be treated in a strong manner. Spanking along with an explanation is appropriate. Keep in mind spanking and beating are not the same thing.
Basically spanking should be reserved for instances when it needs to be known that what was done will NEVER be done again as an extreme measure for an extreme action. I don't think that this psychologically hurts the child in the least. Excessive spanking without real explanation for every little thing? Yes, that isn't good parenting.
I don't think spanking should be a primary means of discipline. I also don't think it should be done without an explanation. Used properly however spanking is the only thing that works with some kids. To better explain some examples..
Your kid refuses to pick up his toys. While annoying this is a minor thing, spanking is by no means necessary.
Your kid lights a couch on fire in the living room( I have seen it done). This is dangerous both to itself, your family and your home it should be treated in a strong manner. Spanking along with an explanation is appropriate. Keep in mind spanking and beating are not the same thing.
Basically spanking should be reserved for instances when it needs to be known that what was done will NEVER be done again as an extreme measure for an extreme action. I don't think that this psychologically hurts the child in the least. Excessive spanking without real explanation for every little thing? Yes, that isn't good parenting.
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October 12, 2009 03:39 AM
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I don't think so. Spanking induces fear into children, and children obey their parents and superiors in fear, and not in respect - and there's always the possibility of revolt and rebelling later on in life.
I personally /was/ spanked - and I don't think it did me any good.
Earlier on in my adolescence, I showed signs of severe depression and manic disorder - and I moved in and out of the house several times.
Maybe that's just me, but the times are changing, and so are the children.
Psychologically, it is proven that physical punishment is emotionally endangering your child.
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I personally /was/ spanked - and I don't think it did me any good.
Earlier on in my adolescence, I showed signs of severe depression and manic disorder - and I moved in and out of the house several times.
Maybe that's just me, but the times are changing, and so are the children.
Psychologically, it is proven that physical punishment is emotionally endangering your child.
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October 12, 2009 09:13 AM
I'm with ya Omicron! My mother admitted to me recently that she regretted giving me so many spankings as a child! It was kind of nice to know, but I WAS kind of a bad kid, and I didn't tell her about all the things I got away with. I don't know what I would do with a kid like me. Both my kids were well behaved. I hardly remember spanking my daughter at all, and about the only time I spanked my boy was when he hit his sister.
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October 12, 2009 06:10 AM
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Sometimes spanking is appropriate if the offense is dangerous to the child or someone else, such as playing on the street, playing with fire, etc AFTER you specifically tell them not to. After the spanking, explain to them why you are angry and why you take such measure. The spanking itself should not be too painful, or not painful at all.
Why is it effective? Young children have limited ability to understand abstract concept. They will have no problem understanding immediate punishment that they can feel physically. I do this, and this hurts, so next time I won't do that. yes, it incites fear, but sometimes fear is good in proper place. And yes, sometimes children have to learn to fear authority if they do something against the "law". It is far better than having your child get hit by a car.
However this should only be done in early age, under ten years old. Ten years old onward, this method is no longer effective.
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Why is it effective? Young children have limited ability to understand abstract concept. They will have no problem understanding immediate punishment that they can feel physically. I do this, and this hurts, so next time I won't do that. yes, it incites fear, but sometimes fear is good in proper place. And yes, sometimes children have to learn to fear authority if they do something against the "law". It is far better than having your child get hit by a car.
However this should only be done in early age, under ten years old. Ten years old onward, this method is no longer effective.
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October 12, 2009 09:14 AM
yes, children should be afraid of playing with fire or running into the street.
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October 12, 2009 09:03 PM
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I think spanking should be used IF it works for that child. If a kid would rather behave than be spanked, then use it. If a child would rather behave than be grounded, use that. Whatever works for each kid.
I was spanked as a kid and am fine. As soon as I get out of prison I will be a model citizen. Nah just kidding.
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I was spanked as a kid and am fine. As soon as I get out of prison I will be a model citizen. Nah just kidding.
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October 13, 2009 04:29 AM
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It is never appropriate to spank a child, as it teaches the child that it is okay to use violence to resolve a conflict. It also causes the child become fearful rather than respectful of the parent. Children who are hit are more likely to hit their peers and engage in negative attention seeking behavior that they expect would result in more physical discipline. Also children who are spanked often adopt the self-image of being “bad”, internalize this misconception, and thus act on this label and engage in more “bad” behavior. While in the heat of the moment parents may feel enraged and find it appropriate to physically punish their child, it is actually more effective to step aside, take deep breaths, and count to 20 (or more). Once cooled down, take the child aside and talk to him about why his behavior was unacceptable and how his actions have made you feel. Ask him if he understands why he should not behave in a certain way and discuss ways for him to improve his behavior. Talking to your child and finding solutions together will help your child become an independent and non-violent problem solver. 
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