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Should parents play Santa Claus and Tooth Fairy? Or is it deceitful and teaching children that sometimes lying is okay?

My daughter lost her first tooth and I ended up playing Tooth Fairy, which she really didn't care about as much as telling her teacher she lost a tooth. I'm considering telling her the truth about Tooth Fairy and Santa, Easter Bunny, etc. etc. She's 5 but I feel like it's setting her up for a big letdown.
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Marked as Best! October 08, 2009 06:48 PM
Keeping some childhood in your child in a time where people are trying to destroy their innocence is important. I believed in Santa and the tooth fairy and the easter bunny and I added the 3 wise men to the mix. When I was growing up I started to notice that my mom new alot about the things Santa brought us and that her handwriting looked like his also. I was not disappointed. Santa still comes to me at my parents house. I tell my kids that Santa won't come if you don't believe. My teens know that santa is not real but they wouldn't dare tell me. and my 9 year old suspects that he isn't real but he wont say so either. Santa comes to every member oh my household. It is part of the magic of Christmas.

I think the thing is this. You don't have to tell your children that these fairy tales don't exist. They will figure it out as they grow and mature. Why break their hearts and spirit by taking something special away. Just tell them that he doesn't come if you don't believe. They will mature out of the believing part without being left feeling that they have been betrayed.
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personal experience
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gno
gno
October 08, 2009 01:05 AM
God yes! It's one of the major delights of childhood. It's also a very important rite of passage for older kids to figure out the truth on their own.

These are very WHITE lies that encourage imagination and fantasy. It's a very special feeling as a kid to know that there is a magical being who brings you gifts and watches out for you.

I beg you don't spoil years of magic and fun because you worry it might be a letdown someday. Your kiddo doesn't need to grow up that fast. Let her stay a child for a nice, long time while she can. THEN she can learn that the world is full of cold, selfish people and there are no magical gifts anymore.
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October 08, 2009 01:10 AM
We all know Santa claus is just their to put a smile on kids face as we grow up we realize there is no santa claus as she grows up she will eventually forget it, but if you think she will understand you at this age than yeah go ahead tell her.
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October 08, 2009 01:30 AM
My oldest son asked me if Santa was real. He was seven or eight and I did not want him to be treated like a fool at school. So I gave him the line, no, he's not real it is the spirit that he represents....etc. Talk about a big letdown. You ain't kidding. Looking into his eyes, I could see that Santa, Rudolph, the elves, and that whole imaginary world just died for that poor little boy. It all came crumbling down in that instant. I swore that I would not tell the truth about Santa Claus when my other son's got old enough to ask. They would have to find out on their own.

They are all grown up now and don't seem to be too damaged by the trauma of the truth. However, If I were to do it all over, I would be honest about the whole deal. Children can enjoy Christmas knowing what it is all about without all those lies. I see nothing wrong with giving money as a tradition when losing a tooth either. I don't see any reason to resort to the tooth fairy.

To answer your question directly. Yes it's deceitful. What else could you call it? Is it teaching children that sometimes lying is okay? Probably, but is that a bad thing? Sometimes lying, even if we just call it a white lie is a good thing. It is part of life. But that is a discussion for another time.

Good luck however you decide to handle the situation.
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October 08, 2009 01:34 AM
Well geez that's sad. I imagine the same thing happening. It is so much fun though. I can relate to the not wanting him to look like a fool at school, that's exactly what I was thinking.
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October 08, 2009 01:50 AM
In my understanding we don't remember most of the things before age 5, unless it's a major impact of something that happened during that time. I would leave it be, kids need that to let their mind grow and not being realistic as adults. Reason why kids make-up imaginary friends and ask why, why , why. Sometimes even with the scientific reasoning kids wouldn't be able to understand.

let her be a kid, let her imagine and wonder and ask why why why. Kids grow up too early these day.
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October 08, 2009 02:51 AM
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/1/449483_21b0b56836_o.jpg

Is this what you want? Well? Is it?

Nuf said. LOL ( I love this picture.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQ0zd0y94no
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October 08, 2009 02:52 AM
LOL...
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October 08, 2009 02:52 PM
I love it when people leave an anonymous unhelpful and don't leave a comment. Well mr/ms unhelpful, the person who asked the question thought it was funny, perhaps you should also develop a sense of humor. Unless cmajaski marked it unhelpful but funny. In that case, I apologize. Sort of.
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gjp
gjp
October 08, 2009 02:54 AM
children are to young to know if it's deceitful and your lying for a goodcause the children will not pic up bad habits because of this why try to change tradition
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October 08, 2009 04:54 AM
There is no harm in allowing a child to believe in a fairy tale or myth however telling them it is the "truth" is wrong. For example, If my child asked me, "Mom is Santa Claus real?" I would tell him the story of how Santa Claus came to be, I would tell him why the people he loves give him gifts each year and why he gives gifts to them, but I would not tell him a lie. I would not say an imaginary man in red lives in the North Pole and flies reindeer to bring him gift each year.

This does a few things. 1. It does not crush imagination but allows it to run free on its own without the guidance of lies 2. It does not leave resentment later when the child realizes you fooled them all those years. (Yes, I was angry with my mom when I found out she was Santa.) 3.It teaches that underneath every fable there is a truth that we can take something good from.
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October 08, 2009 05:00 AM
I told by my children that Santa is real as long as you believe he is real, and when you stop believing, he stops being real.

Today, my 22 year old daughter believes in Santa.

I do too.

Somehow, Santa always puts a present under the tree for me.

It's not lying... it's the wonder of childhood.

Fairy tales aren't lies. They are stories. Make believe is not a lie. It's fantasy.

There would be no writers if fantasy and stories didn't exist.
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October 08, 2009 05:53 AM
Sometimes it takes fiction to convey the truth. Also, the absence of Christmas does not a sad childhood make.
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October 08, 2009 05:58 AM
My 6yo daughter believes in Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. I see no reason to change that. It's a bit of youthful fun and she will eventually learn the truth. There's too much seriousness in the rest of life to not have the odd fun fantasy.

I do know that when my parents (strict Christians) told us the truth the only thing we were concerned with and said was "So, all this time you've been lying to us??". Heh!
Source(s):
http://books.google.com.au/books?id=D_d_NETBz10C&pg=PA148&lpg=PA148...
http://www.scienceblog.com/cms/lies-my-parents-told-me-25437.html
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October 10, 2009 01:24 AM
Very young children live in a fantasy world, and I don't think that pretending that these characters are real does a child any real harm, but the first time the child is old enough to ask if they are, he should be told the truth. Ulitimately, they don't really care if Santa Claus is real as long as they get lots of presents from someone!
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personal opinion
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