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What do you think of hazing?

Your son is a victim of hazing, do you report it even though he begged you not to?
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Marked as Best! October 08, 2009 03:50 PM
There used to be formal hazing rituals for every college in Indonesia, some are worse than others. After some hazing gone awry resulted in death, it was less socially acceptable, though some college still practice them.

Some says it builds character. I disagree. Violence and humiliation beget violence and humiliation. However, if we intervene, it could embarrass our teens if we intervene, and some mild prankings are harmless. I say ask in details about the hazing, if it threatens one's dignity and safety, by all means report it before it escalates and your boy or other boys get hurt.
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October 08, 2009 04:33 AM
If it wasn't something so terrible and he didn't want it reported I wouldn't worry about it.

However, if it was emotionally or physically hurtful then you should report it.
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October 08, 2009 07:23 AM
Hazing if survived builds character, bonds men and a time of self discovery.

If not a such a pleasant experience than I suggest contacting your sons school or educational organization as there are rules against such behavior.

If my son was 18 then I would let him decide for himself.
If he was younger than I take the responsibility as the parent to report as necessary.
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October 08, 2009 06:24 PM
C'mon people, this is not "unhelpful" as it perfectly answers the question: "What do you THINK of hazing?". If this is what @tranhawk thinks, he/she is answering the question and being helpful to the best of their ability. No need to suppress the answer with unhelpful votes when you can just comment and disagree or leave a different answer. Also, while I strongly disagree with the first part of this answer, letting an adult make their own decisions sounds like decent advice.
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October 08, 2009 11:18 AM
Hazing is a ritualistic test and a task involving harassment, abuse or humiliation used as a way of initiating a person into a gang, club, military organization or other group. The definition can refer to either physical (sometimes violent) or mental (possibly degrading) practices. It may also include nudity or sexually oriented activities. The word "hazing" is most frequently encountered in the United States and Canada, and is often described in the context of Greek letter organizations
Source(s):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hazing,
www.examville.com
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October 08, 2009 04:08 PM
I think that hazing chips away at character by reducing self esteem, and it encourages sadistic behavior.

I would report it without hesitation, hazing rituals need to end. They are an embarrassment to an enlightened society.

http://www.michigandaily.com/content/counselor-explains-effects-hazing#
http://shs.wustl.edu/healthPromotion/hazing.htm
http://appliedsportpsych.org/Resource-Center/Coaches/Articles/hazing-teams
http://www.stormingmedia.us/keywords/physiological_effects.html

You may wish to seek MASH support and advice
http://www.mashinc.org/resources-essay-pellicciotti.html
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gno
gno
October 09, 2009 12:41 AM
Hazing is a process to break a person down before building them back up. It's often physically and mentally demeaning.

#1 - Are you sure this is what your son was engaged in?
Most frats and sororities have some bonding rituals that aren't hazing (characterized by all events being strictly voluntary and not mean in nature). Many non-hazing events will involve bonfires, asking pledges to recite memorized oaths, educating about group history, and sometimes drinking parties that are voluntary.

#2 - If it really is hazing, then give your son two options:
A.) He leaves the group that did the hazing and never returns
B.) You go to the administration and report them

He should not continue any association of any kind with the hazing group for his own safety and self-confidence, hopefully he will recognize this and leave voluntarily, in which case you should respect his wishes. If he won't walk away, then you have some tattle tale ammunition.
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October 09, 2009 02:18 AM
I really think hazing is a form of group bullying. It's the group determining whether the victim can be controlled. And you'd better be able to be controlled, because if you resist, you become the enemy and can be seriously hurt or even killed.

I'd prepare backup plans for your son, and then report it. Make sure he has some options and won't be trapped with the people who hazed him. They tend to be pretty good at underhanded bullying, and if it's at the college level, it could affect the rest of his life.
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October 09, 2009 03:32 AM
I would definitely report it. However, have you considered taking it one step further? Many people have still not realized that society will not stand for this and it might be time to show them. I think it would be great if you started a website with the names and photos of the people involved. Include links to their Facebook profiles. Provide discussion forums for each person so that members of the general public can come and speak their minds in regards to exactly what they think of the events that took place. If everyone who was hazed took this kind of action, you can bet it would end pretty quickly.
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October 09, 2009 04:20 AM
I'm going to preume that when you say "hazing", you mean it within the context of membership passage into a fraternal organization, right?

Personally, I think it's retarded, but, believe it or not, I've noticed situations where it seemed to work in terms of defining social order and authority within fraternal type situations, if (and only if) the recipient of the hazing has an IQ less than about 123.

When the IQ is less than 123, then emotion tends to dominate over logic. When emotion dominates over logic, people will do things like jump to a conclusion, and then seek the evidense to support their preconclusin.

When they've got an IQ greater than 123, their logic is stronger than emotion, and so they look at the facts first, and then make their conclusion.

My personal term for it is "The Principal of one two three", and I use it for sorting out which workers will work together and who their supervisors will be (believe it or not, it's just as hard for a boss with an IQ >123 to supervise guys with IQ's <123 as it is for a supervisor with IQ <123 to supervise workers having IQ >123).

What I've seen is that with guys having IQ's over 123, hazing just pisses them off and gets them thinking about revenge, but for those with IQ <123, they end up feeling bonded to, and respectful of, those who hazed them.

So.. as bent as this might sound... I'd have to say... if he's will to live with it, then let it go. The fact that he's asking you to not report it means it meant something to him, and we know from studies that can mean something to males in that brain-range for maintaining social heirarchy, and... I'm sorry to say, ma'am, but your son's not a genious.
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October 09, 2009 05:05 AM
Wow, I find this to be quite insightful! It would be neat to look into this more, but it sounds like a fair explanation to me.
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October 09, 2009 08:41 PM
I think hazing is very wrong if it's done in a bad way: something that embarasses the person, causes harm or is illegal. It should be reported to the police if it involves criminal behavior. Hazing isn't an excuse for people to do whatever they want to others.
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