My children would not take a pacifier so I personally did not have to go through the withdrawal part. However, my brothers children did. The way he got them off the pacifier was to put a little hole in the pacifier and when they brought it to him, he said it was broke. When they got another, he did the same and said I guess that is broke too. They got used to going without it and the problem was solved.

Good luck!

P.S. I found this video that recommends the same technique!

I have to say my older son never took a pacifier. But my younger son was the complete opposite and insisted on his pacifier until he was 18 months old. At that time it seemed that my husband and I had tolerated the pacifier long enough and we were seriously discussing methods on how to rid my son off the pacifier without major tantrums. Then one day, after an incident that could have resulted in a serious injury, my husband made the right-then-and-there decision that “today would be the last day” that our son used his paci. It happened one morning before my husband left for work. He was sitting at the computer desk in our basement to check his email and our little son, pacifier in mouth, came wobbling towards him to be picked up. My husband took him, set him on his lap and started teasing him with his pacifier, saying “That’s my pacifier, give it”. As he pulled the pacifier out of our son’s mouth and held it in the air, our toddler took a leap for it, literally jumped out of my husbands hands and landed face first on the concrete basement floor. It took a second for us to realize what had happened before either of us was able to respond, even though we were within inches from him. When my husband picked up our screaming son, he had a bloody, popped open lip and a small bruise on his cheek that instantly turned purple. My husband, an upset, nervous wreck over the accident said “That’s it. If he’s willing to sacrifice his safety for the pacifier, then the pacifier is gone” and he pulled the pacifier apart right there in front of our 18-month-old who sat wailing even more. Seems cruel and I expected horrific nights of tantrums and sleeplessness, but surprisingly our son slept through the night that first night and by the next day he appeared to have completely forgotten about his “binky”.
Long story short, although there may be no one perfect way to take away the pacifier, children do survive the loss of their paci and tend to adapt to their new, pacifier-less lifestyle rather quickly. We are after all creatures of habit (and time does heal all wounds). If you want to make a special occasion out of it, you could tell your child that she is now a big girl and it was time to give up her pacifier. You could then decorate a small box with your child and plan a special day on which you would “retire” the pacifier. Let your child help you dig up a small hole in the yard and place the box in the hole. You could also with the help of your child create and bury a time capsule or plant a small tree over the boxed pacifier. Your child could then water the little tree and watch it grow (marking a new period in her life). It could be her “big girl tree”.

The best way is different for each child and parent. Wouldn't it be great if there was one way for all?
Both of my boys (now 3 1/2) used pacifiers. One thing I had done at 4-6 months was to decide that the pacifier didn't leave the crib. So unless they were sleeping, they didn't get used to having it. There was one exception for each child which involved a surgery and a medical test.

At about 1 1/2 - 2 years old, I started trying to stop them from using it. I cut the pacifier like has been suggested, but that didn't work for mine. I'm a stay at home mom, so I am in control of their naps. That was the sleeping session that first became pacifier-free. I gave them each a new stuffed toy to hug on and stayed in the room for extra hugs and kisses, etc. You could try this on a weekend if you aren't able to be around for naps.

It took 2 days of naps as I remember for them to be OK with it. After about 2 weeks of that, I had taken away the night-time pacifier too. In those 2 weeks I'd started telling them that they were going to have to "give the pacifier to some little boy or girl who needed it more".

If my 2 had been still using their pacifiers for stressful times like your little girl is, I think that I would try and show her some other thing to do which helps her stress-coping before I took away the pacifier at all.
That worked for them. Good luck to you.

I was still using one when I was three, so Mom told me that I had to give it up when I turned four. Apparently I misunderstood the way cause and effect worked, because the very next day I walked into the kitchen and threw it away, proclaiming "I four now!" I never wanted it back after that either, so it looks like getting your kid to give it up voluntarily is the best way.

My daughter recently gave up her precious binky at age 3. Or, about a month ago. She has been slow to accept changes, in spite of being a bright, fast learner. The pacifier was rough, and she asked for it at bedtime for a couple weeks, but now is perfectly happy without it.

What we did was "Lose" two of them, only to find she had several more hidden about the house. Everytime she found one, she was so proud of herself. Rather than spanking her, or taking it away, we would simply let her fall asleep, and "lose" it again. When we finally got all of them, we simply bought no more.

It was rough getting her to sleep for a few days, but now she is trying to help her 14 month old cousin to stop using his.

my 23 month old was broken from hers 2 months ago. we took them and put them in a drawer with out her knowing and told her the P fairy come to take it to baies that dont have mommies and daddies to help them sleep, she asked mayne 5 times we stuck to the story problem solved no fussing during bed or nap time. i think the pacifier is more of a security thing for parents then the kids