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Would you consider being a single parent, if you remained unmarried in your late 30's but desperately wanted to have children?
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March 15, 2010 11:23 PM
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Yes. I would hate to reach the end of my life, and think that I never experienced parenthood. I think I would adopt though, as opposed to getting a guy to father a child that he wasn't going to be around for. I would feel pretty good about getting a child out of the foster care system, and giving them a stable home. I would also try to find men in my life (dad, brother, friends), who could be around, so the child had something of a balanced life. All children benefit from having both perspectives and both kinds of people around.
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March 16, 2010 12:00 AM
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If I wanted to have a child bad enough, responsible enough and financially sound enough...yes, I would. There is nothing wrong with being a single-parent. In fact, there are many women (and men) who are single-parents by choice.
Many women (and men) are opting to start their careers before having children these days, hence there are many women in their 30's and 40's having their children - whether they are single, with a partner or married should not make any difference.
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Many women (and men) are opting to start their careers before having children these days, hence there are many women in their 30's and 40's having their children - whether they are single, with a partner or married should not make any difference.
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March 16, 2010 03:55 AM
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I might. But if I decide to have a children, I might choose adoption instead because I feel that there are a lot of unwanted children who need parents. If I give birth, my child might resent me for being a "bastard" child because having a kid outside of marriage is still very shameful in my culture. By adopting, I kill 3 birds with a stone. I get to help a child who needs me, I can raise my child without people mocking my child for born out of wedlock, and I can raise my own child.
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March 19, 2010 02:55 PM
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To have a child just because you want a child is selfish. I would never never never never never willingly become a single parent, never. Did I say never?
Why the strong sentiment?, read below.
My mom was a single parent of three, single not by choice. Her ex-husband was the scum of the earth. I am Hmong she was forced to marry, when I was young. I witnessed all the hardships she went through to raise the three of us.
Financially she couldn’t afford to get me everything that we wanted, though we always had what we needed. She couldn’t afford to give me much time or affection either, because she worked full time, and my sister was the attention hog.
Of the three of us I am the only one who turned out ok. My sister ran off, got married young, pregnant young, and divorced, all before she turned 19. Oh I take it back she’s not divorced yet, it is in the making. No, it was not entirely on her husband, she cheated on him. My brother on the other hand is wasting his life, by not working, or educating himself. Of the three of us, he was the most academically bright. He won’t ever get an education. My brother, without a male figure will never know what it is to ‘be a man’, heck I’ll never understand it. He’s always been a little bit on the feminine side.
The only thing I ever wanted as a child was a father. Now it’s a big brother that I want. Notice the male trend.
I always wonder how it is possible that I turned out so normal.
From a different point of view: I see all the single parents who I work with. At equilibrium, just school and life, the children can be a handful. They are stressed when a child is sick, or needs to go to the doctor, or needs to get specific supplies for a field trip or project, or if they do extra curricular activities. That single parent has to do all the running around.
So, no. If I had the option, I would choose not to be a single parent, even if I had all the money in the world. We should never ever choose to deprive children of what they need, time, affection, love, a mother and a father. If you can throw in grandparents (something else I didn’t have) too that would be great.
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Why the strong sentiment?, read below.
My mom was a single parent of three, single not by choice. Her ex-husband was the scum of the earth. I am Hmong she was forced to marry, when I was young. I witnessed all the hardships she went through to raise the three of us.
Financially she couldn’t afford to get me everything that we wanted, though we always had what we needed. She couldn’t afford to give me much time or affection either, because she worked full time, and my sister was the attention hog.
Of the three of us I am the only one who turned out ok. My sister ran off, got married young, pregnant young, and divorced, all before she turned 19. Oh I take it back she’s not divorced yet, it is in the making. No, it was not entirely on her husband, she cheated on him. My brother on the other hand is wasting his life, by not working, or educating himself. Of the three of us, he was the most academically bright. He won’t ever get an education. My brother, without a male figure will never know what it is to ‘be a man’, heck I’ll never understand it. He’s always been a little bit on the feminine side.
The only thing I ever wanted as a child was a father. Now it’s a big brother that I want. Notice the male trend.
I always wonder how it is possible that I turned out so normal.
From a different point of view: I see all the single parents who I work with. At equilibrium, just school and life, the children can be a handful. They are stressed when a child is sick, or needs to go to the doctor, or needs to get specific supplies for a field trip or project, or if they do extra curricular activities. That single parent has to do all the running around.
So, no. If I had the option, I would choose not to be a single parent, even if I had all the money in the world. We should never ever choose to deprive children of what they need, time, affection, love, a mother and a father. If you can throw in grandparents (something else I didn’t have) too that would be great.
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March 19, 2010 05:25 PM
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gbenz/2519922376/
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Yes, I would. If you really wanted to be a parent and have not met "Mr. Right" yet then I would. You have to remember that your biological clock is ticking and you do not want to wait until it is tooo late. Being a single parent is not all that bad at least for myself it wasn't. Sure I feel that a child needs both parents but a single parent can get by all by themselves.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gbenz/2519922376/
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http://www.flickr.com/photos/gbenz/2519922376/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gbenz/2519922376/
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